Speak Out, Sister!

Birth control is a public health issue

2012-02-08T14:09:00.000-08:00

http://courantblogs.com/susan-campbell/2012/02/07/should-birth-control-be-covered/

Do people think access to contreceptives is a public health issue?

Pres. Obama is taking it on the chinfrom some groups on a provision of the Affordable Care Act that requires insurers to drop deductibles and co-pays for FDA-approved contraception drugs and devices.

Some Republicans — including the party’s frontrunner for the presidential nomination — liken the policy an attack on religious freedom. But, as writes Sahil Kapur at TPM:
…the policy itself carves out an exemption for churches and doesn’t require any individual or employer to violate a religious belief — it simply ensures that their employees with different beliefs have the same access to birth control as all other women.

Do you think citizens should have access to no-cost birth control? Do you think access to contraceptives is a public health issue? I do, and if you do, too, you can sign a petition here.
And thanks, Cynical, for the link.

You can read more about how the act and contraceptives and preventative care here. And you can read more on Mitt Romney’s thoughts on birth control here. And thanks, Jennifer, for that link.

How to Save an Unproductive Work Day

2012-02-07T10:11:00.000-08:00

We have all had those days, we enter the office full of energy ready to make a difference, to accomplish everything on our to do lists. Then suddenly is is 11 and we have yet to do anything but cruise Facebook and repin things on Pinterest! The below article points out a few key things we can do to save our days and leave our guilt at the door!! Enjoy!

How to Save an Unproductive Work Day
By Cindy Perman, CNBC.com

We've all had those days: A failure to launch. Hit a wall. Too many interruptions. Got distracted. Whatever the reason, an unproductive day is maddening.

We've all had those days"People get caught up in the tyranny of urgent," explained Michael Crom, the chief learning officer at the Dale Carnegie Institute, a corporate training organization. "Texting. People popping into our office. Phone ringing … cellphone ringing … personal stuff … it can all lead to some pretty bad work habits."

That's right, like your overflowing inbox, or easy-to-steal password, the first step of an unproductive day is to admit that you - and your work habits - are a big part of the problem.

First question: Do you make a to-do list every day?

Next question: What do you do first?

"The tendency is to do the things I like to do first," Crom explained. "We all have time to jump on Facebook!" he quipped.

If you just start ticking off the things you like to do, instead of the important ones, guess what happens? You run out of time and you find yourself at the end of the day declaring it an unproductive work day because you didn't get the things accomplished that you NEEDED to get accomplished.It's called procrastination.

"It robs you of vitality. Almost numbs you," Crom said. "If you accomplish those important things, it generates more energy. Keeps you more positive. Your productivity goes up," he said.
"In essence, we're talking about creating a proper work environment for being productive."
So what happens when you hit that wall and you can't focus, can't work on anything big or small - do you throw in the towel and belly up to the bar?

Hang on there, Cliffy. Not so fast.

Crom suggests taking a break - take a walk outside for some fresh air, call someone who's positive, have a cold glass of water - or play a particular song that pumps you up or gets your focused.Crom says he writes best to Mozart, uses James Blunt to get the positive energy flowing and likes Chris Brown's "Forever" to pump him up before a public speech.Of course, everyone's taste is different - so find what works for you.

You might find just giving yourself a little pep talk works. Or, keeping an inspiration or a kudos file to rev you up and help you get back in the game. "I think you can always get things back under control," he said. "Even a half-hour break."He also cautions against spending too much time with negative people.

Crom recalls an old boss who preached SNIOP - being susceptible to the negative influence of other people. "The moment someone around you is negative or complaining, say 'SNIOP!' and take two steps backwards," Crom said. "You have to treat them like a vampire!"

It's like saying "Beetlejuice" three times fast!

Crom recommends getting in early - before everyone else to make your to-do list for the day and set up what the priorities are.

If you prioritize and you don't get through the whole list, then guess what? What didn't get done wasn't that important. By contrast, if you do the things you like first, or the things that are easy, then that's all you've accomplished - not the priority items.

If you have too many important items on that list, check in with your boss to help you prioritize and, if necessary, redistribute some of the important stuff to other people to make sure the team hits all the deadlines.The importance of communicating with the boss cannot be overstated.

Crom recalls a survey of CEOs and their direct reports. They asked nearly 300 CEOs what they thought their direct reports' priorities were, then asked the direct reports the same question. Guess what? The results showed a 20 to 70 percent variance between what the CEOs thought the jobs of their direct reports were and what the direct reports thought their job was.

"Imagine as you move down the organization how wide that variance must become!" Crom said.
Of course, you have to be agile. If things change course midday, you have to be ready to drop everything and then re-prioritize.

"The worst thing is if you take on an assignment that's due tomorrow, give no feedback and don't accomplish it," Crom said. "Then you look like a poor member of the team. And, you make the organization look bad."

And, while you might think that guy who stays until 9pm or later every day has it all together - think again. He's also part of the problem.

Working long hours too much can cause a person to miss personal or family priorities which can build internal stress.

"Then they struggle through," Crom explained. "There are consequences to that."

Not only should you be making a daily to-do list but also a list of yearly priorities that you discuss with your boss periodically. Then, break that down into what you can accomplish in each area on a monthly and weekly basis.

"Keep the focus tight so you really understand - this is what I need to be doing this month, this week, this day," Crom said. "When you're focused, you perform at a much higher level."

And, if you ever feel like you're the only one who suffers from an unproductive day - think again.
"I think it's an increasing issue," Crom said. "I've seen some rare individuals who just seem so self-motivated and very organized - but it's very rare."

He recalls a time-management workshop he did with about 200 executives in the room. He asked, "Raise your hand if you think you waste an hour a day."

Every hand went up in the room except for one. So he challenged that guy - to see if he was, indeed, this rare species of man who doesn't waste time.

The man replied, "Oh, I misunderstood. I waste more than an hour a day - I was waiting for that option to raise my hand!"

Women's Football at the Superbowl?

2012-02-05T11:44:00.000-08:00

Having the privileged of posting on the same day as the Superbowl means that I am writing about football. Now while I am sure may of you reading have chosen sides...Pats...Giants...Pants...what-have-you. My husband just asks me "do you know who the quaterbacks are?" and without event thinking I respond "no and I don't really care". He stops short and laughs as he realizes that I am typing and being absolutely serious. I have just finished a little research and here is what I have to share with you:

American football is not just for men. I don't mean "anything you can do, I can do better" but rather women have sought out and excelled at the sport. The women's teams do not make the money the men's teams make, get the media coverage, or get to call their passion a full-time career. But these women play for the love of the sport and are really good at it. "When you think about American football, you envision it being played by heavily-padded big men making violent contact with each other. But Tarsha Fain, team captain of the Baltimore Nighthawks says, think again." The Independent Women's Football League is the center of all things women's football including a countdown of just 56days to the start of the 2012 season. There are more than 30 women's teams throughout the nation, including the Connecticut Wreckers. In addition to the IWFL is the Women's Football Alliance which grew in the first five months of its existence from 0 to 32 teams, "making it the fastest growing league in the history of the sport. This momentum continued as the WFA grew by an additional twenty-five percent after its first year, making it the fastest growing league in the country. Now in it's third year, the WFA currently has 63 teams making it the largest-ever women's football league in the world."

The moral of the story, it's not about feminism, about women surpassing men, or about women striking out only to achieve equality. Women playing football, and being recognized for it, is just one more playing field for women to find themselves and have fun. Maybe someday there will even be a women's team in the Superbowl. Either that, or maybe America will move to a gender neutral sport...leave the pads at home and try rugby...or football...the real kind. In the mean time enjoy the game!

Check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWHXqBhxkRM&feature=youtu.be

Sleepless: Komen and Planned Parenthood

2012-02-03T10:04:00.000-08:00

(from The Decemberists' "Team Jenny" breast health awareness campaign)

There has been so much in the news this week regarding women’s issues, especially in this state. I cannot do justice to everything that has gone on in one blog entry, so with a major update this morning on the Komen/Planned Parenthood issue, I will focus on that today.

As this organization blogged about on Wednesday, the Susan G. Komen for the Cure foundation decided to pull funding of breast cancer screening by Planned Parenthood due to “a new Komen policy forbidding grants to organizations under official investigation.” However, in the court of public opinion, the decision had everything to do with politics, with many feeling that Komen succumbed to anti-choice, and frankly anti-women, sentiments.

This morning however, Komen announced that it will reinstate funding to Planned Parenthood. According to Komen CEO Nancy G. Brinker,

“We want to apologize to the American public for recent decisions that cast doubt upon our commitment to our mission of saving women's lives…We will continue to fund existing grants, including those of Planned Parenthood, and preserve their eligibility to apply for future grants, while maintaining the ability of our affiliates to make funding decisions that meet the needs of their communities.”

As with many others, the issue really hits close to home for me having dealt with breast cancer in my family. Even with this reversal, however, the fact that Komen even considered cutting this funding has left many, including myself, hesitant to trust that Komen really wants what is best for women’s health.

As has been the case in the last couple years, social media played a huge part in quickly riling up public fervor over the issue. Julie Stagis of the Hartford Courant referenced Netflix’s recent series of bungled business decisions on her Twitter page this morning, characterizing Komen's thought process as "Oh, wait, you're mad, we'll pretend this never happened!" In today's social media-oriented society, organizations like Komen need to take extra care to make sure that their "business" decisions are completely thought out, or else face harsh backlash.

Perhaps my favorite use of social media in the Komen/Planned Parenthood situation was from the Portland, Oregon indie rock band The Decemberists. One of their members, Jenny Conlee, has recently battled breast cancer; as a result, they have been selling "Team Jenny" t-shirts with proceeds going to Komen. However, when Komen announced their decision to pull funding from Planned Parenthood, The Decemberists took to their Facebook page (over 460,000 followers strong) about the issue, saying:

"...it is unconscionable that Komen should politicize this very important issue by bowing to the fear campaign being waged against PP by the right. We've decided to redirect the proceeds of the Team Jenny t-shirts and buttons away from Komen for the Cure. 100% of the net profits of these items will be instead donated to Planned Parenthood's Breast Health Emergency Fund."

My favorite song by The Decemberists is "Sleepless," which was written for AIDS awareness, but I feel that it applies to this situation as well in multiple ways. It's really encouraging to me that in situations like this, public commotion through social media can be used for positive reasons to influence change and progress. But this victory for women's health is only a minor skirmish in what has become a massive war against women's health; once again, we cannot forget that women's issues are everybody's issues. We must never stop fighting. We must be sleepless.

References:

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2012/02/03/146344674/in-reversal-komen-reinstates-funding-for-planned-parenthood

http://www.courant.com/la-he-planned-parenthood-komen-20120201,0,6858356.story

Komen Breast Cancer Charity Severs Ties with Planned Parenthood

2012-02-01T13:29:00.000-08:00

Interesting article in today's Courant:

http://www.courant.com/la-he-planned-parenthood-komen-20120201,0,6858356.story

By Shari Roan, Los Angeles Times
February 1, 2012

In what looks to be a break between two organizations dedicated to women's health, a national breast cancer awareness group said it would stop providing funds to Planned Parenthood centers for breast cancer examinations and other breast health services.Susan G. Komen for the Cure, a leader in fundraising for breast cancer research and famous worldwide for its iconic pink ribbon, said Tuesday that it was halting all partnerships with Planned Parenthood affiliates because of recently adopted criteria that forbid it from funding any organization under government investigation.

In September, Rep. Cliff Stearns (R-Fla.) launched an inquiry to determine whether Planned Parenthood uses public money to fund abortions. Planned Parenthood receives federal money but cannot use it to provide abortions.

Komen has a long history of providing funding to various Planned Parenthood affiliates for such services as manual breast exams and referrals for mammograms and biopsies to check suspicious lumps for cancer. Although that money is not used for abortions, the Komen Foundation may have yielded to demands from antiabortion groups to sever its ties to Planned Parenthood.

"We had the sense this was coming and that they were under pressure," said Sue Dunlap, chief executive of Planned Parenthood Los Angeles. "I find this really disappointing. I think when women's health is more of a political conversation than a conversation about healthcare and taking care of people, then we've gone too far."

Officials for Planned Parenthood Federation of America said they learned of Komen's new stance on funding late last year and asked the Komen board of directors for a meeting to resolve any issues or questions related to funding. The meeting did not take place, said Cecile Richards, the federation's president.

"We are alarmed and saddened that the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation appears to have succumbed to political pressure," Richards said in a statement. "Our greatest desire is for Komen to reconsider this policy and recommit to the partnership on which so many women count."

Over the last five years, Planned Parenthood has provided about 4 million breast exams and referrals for 70,000 mammograms nationwide. Funding from Komen covers about 170,000 of the breast exams and 6,400 mammogram referrals, Richards said. Although mammograms and biopsies are referred out, Planned Parenthood doctors manage their patients' cases.

Officials from the Komen Foundation could not be reached for comment. But in an earlier interview with the Associated Press, Komen spokeswoman Leslie Aun said that the decision was based solely on the Stearns investigation and did not imply wrongdoing by Planned Parenthood.

"We want to maintain a positive relationship with them," Aun told the Associated Press. "We're not making any judgment."

In Orange County, the loss of Komen grants will end programs to reach out to special groups in need of breast cancer education, said Stephanie Kight, senior vice president of the Planned Parenthood affiliate for Orange and San Bernardino counties.

One Komen grant funded outreach to Vietnamese women in which Planned Parenthood workers would provide breast health education in hair and nail salons and other gathering places for Vietnamese women. Another allowed the chapter to fund referrals for biopsies for women who had suspicious lumps discovered during breast exams at a Planned Parenthood clinic.

The $120,000 annual grants the affiliate received from Komen made up half of its yearly budget for breast health care, Kight said.

"We've been long-time partners with Komen in taking care of women's breast health," said Kight, who added that her affiliate had not yet been informed of Komen's decision to halt Planned Parenthood funding. "If this decision was brought on because of political pressure, that would be really disappointing."

Antiabortion groups lauded the decision and described it as the result of years of lobbying from Americans who oppose abortion.

"I know that hundreds, even thousands, of people reached out to Komen to request they stop giving to Planned Parenthood. That was constant over the years," said Eric Scheidler, executive director of the Chicago-based Pro-Life Action League. "Pro-life people object because Planned Parenthood is the nation's largest abortion chain. Every dollar they take in facilitates their operations.

"Planned Parenthood has become the central target of antiabortion groups, Scheidler added. Last year, the organization, which serves about 3 million people a year for reproductive healthcare and other primary-care services, was the focus of a bill introduced by Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.) that would have halted its federal funding. About one-third of Planned Parenthood's $1.1-billion national budget comes from the federal government.

The bill was defeated. But the Komen Foundation decision "really shows that when pro-life people make their views known in a vocal way, through all of those phone calls and emails and public protests, it can have an impact," Scheidler said. "It's really encouraging and, hopefully, will be followed by other corporate donors to Planned Parenthood.

"The decision spurred vigorous comment on websites across the country Tuesday night.

"Shame, shame, shame on Susan G Komen. I thought you cared about women's health," wrote one visitor to the Susan G. Komen "Sound off!" message board. "Betrayal," wrote another: "I have had friends and family members who have survived breast cancer and other cancers. ... I will never make another contribution to another SGK event or cause."

"Thank you!!! Susan G. Komen for breaking your ties with abortionists!" wrote a third. "Never should you have supported them, regardless of their non-abortion activities."The action is bound to stir up feelings of torn allegiance, Kight said. Orange County's Planned Parenthood and the local Komen Foundation chapter have had a close working relationship designed to support common goals, and women's health advocates are likely to feel baffled by which organization to align with.

"Our affiliate always sponsors a team of 30 to 40 people who participate in the Race for the Cure," Kight said, referring to a major Komen fundraiser. "I don't know what we'll do now. When we go to the Komen race, we're all just women."

What Does Beyoncé's Recent Birth Tell Us About How Much We Value Mothers?

2012-01-31T19:05:00.000-08:00

I've got to be honest, I did not understand why there was so much hype about the birth of Blue Ivy. I actually found it annoying. I am still pondering what it all means, but the below article has some really interesting facts about what women who aren't Beyonce face as mothers.

To all the mothers and mothers-to-be in the world, I salute you.

What Does Beyoncé's Recent Birth Tell Us About How Much We Value Mothers?
Posted: 01/24/2012 11:00 am

by Clare Winterton

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/clare-winterton/global-motherhood_b_1223877.html?ref=global-motherhood

As we look at the prominent and adoring coverage of celebrity moms and babies -- such as the recent media excitement that surrounded the birth of Beyoncé's daughter Blue Ivy -- how can we doubt that motherhood, and the health and welfare of all mothers, is a cornerstone of our culture?

Today the International Museum of Women launches MAMA, a new online exhibition on motherhood that suggests a far more complex and confusing picture.

Both the global statistics and our exhibition tell a story that is very different to the glowing and positive picture that surrounds each new celebrity birth.

Every 90 seconds a woman somewhere in the world dies from a complication of pregnancy or childbirth, and most of these deaths are preventable. And while it is true that the vast majority of these deaths occur in the developing world, the U.S. significantly lags other developed nations: the United States' rate of maternal mortality is the highest of any industrialized country. The United Nations rightly identified reducing the number of global maternal deaths as a key millennium development goal. Yet of all the millennium goals this one has made the least progress.

And it's not just issues of mothers' health that offer cause for doubt. Countless women around the world, in the U.S. included, still find that their work as mothers and in the workplace is not only under-valued, but under-paid as well. The U.S. campaign group MomsRising found that moms earn 27 percent less than male colleagues (compared to 10 percent less for non mothers); and single mothers earn between 34 percent and 44 percent less. Women in developing countries work 12 to 13 hours more per week more than men, and much of that work can be attributed to the childcare and domestic work involved in 'mothering'. What's more, the different aspects of 'mother's work' are so hard to juggle that many moms end up short changing their families, their careers or their health. Young women around the world tell us that one of their biggest anxieties about the future is whether they will be able to combine motherhood with a successful professional life.

Becoming a mother also brings other new hurdles and realities that are too often absent in the media's rosy depiction of celebrity motherhood: a changed body, new emotions and a realization that one's identity will never be quite the same. Women also discover that many of society's greatest remaining taboos are reserved for the journey towards and beyond motherhood -- from miscarriage to infertility and postpartum depression.

Our exhibition shows the starkness of these realities -- from Chantal Andersen's moving photographs of birth experiences in Bangladesh to Alexia Nye Jackson's documentary about working mothers in the U.S. and Humaira Abid's sculptures depicting the hidden disappointment of miscarriage. But it also illuminates areas of hope and optimism. A health worker in the Democratic Republic of Congo shares her vision for advancing maternal health in her country, a documentarian from Hungary looks at how men are increasing their share of parenting and domestic responsibility and a film-maker from the U.S. elicits women's realistic -- and positive -- reflections on their postpartum bodies. Two contributors share the critical role that mothers in Haiti played in rebuilding their country after the devastating 2010 earthquake.

These visions of hope and change are accompanied by art that spotlights the true beauty and diversity of modern mothers around the world -- through breath-taking images that are often a million miles from the "look how fast I got my body back" pictures of celebrity moms in swim-suits, mere months after giving birth. We see the contours of pregnant and postpartum bellies, the daily lives of mothers inside and outside the home and myriad glimpses of the love, hope and admiration that pass between mothers and children. We see the strength of mothers who are leaders their families and communities -- from Maasai mothers in Kenya to grandmothers in Bangladesh and midwives in Ecuador.

By sharing portraits and stories of motherhood that are too often unseen, we give women a space to define the true realities of 21st century motherhood and to share what needs to be done before mothers are truly valued in our country and in our world.

Perhaps when we can all see -- with clear eyes -- mothers and their lives as they really are, the world will come closer to valuing mothers. Valuing not just their role in families or even their beauty, but their health, their economic potential and their leadership. On that day, we dream that every mother and every baby will be celebrated with as much acclaim and veneration as Beyoncé and her daughter.

Clare Winterton is the Executive Director of the International Museum of Women.

The MAMA: Motherhood Around the Globe exhibition is available at http://mama.imow.org/

The Naked Face Project

2012-01-31T06:07:00.000-08:00

At first glance, the name caught my attention, naked face project? What could this mean, aren't our faces always technically naked? Intrigued, after a little more digging I came to find out that the Naked Face Project embodies far more than a clean face. In fact for the next 60 days co-founders Caitlin Boyle and Molly Barker will be refraining from shaving, makeup and primping, meaning no haircuts, dye jobs, waxes!! Which begs the question, could you make it 60 days without engaging in either of these habits? The below post, by Caitlin, chronicles how the Naked Face Project came to be, I hope you find it as thought provoking and inspiring as I did :)

The Naked Face Project

Written on January 30, 2012 by Caitlin in The Naked Face Project

Last season at Girls on the Run, I sat cross-legged in front of 15 little girls and held up an advertisement for women’s shaving cream. The ad showed the model’s disembodied legs up in the air, smooth and shiny. “What do you think this ad is trying to say?” I asked. The girls carefully studied the image, and then one piped up, “That we should buy that shaving cream because pretty girls shave their legs.”

“That’s definitely the goal of the advertisement,” I replied. “Do you all think that women have to shave this legs?” Instantly, all of the girls squealed back, “YES,” clearly pleased that they had gotten the question ‘right’ on the first try. “Wait, wait, wait!” I said. “Women don’t have to shave their legs!” Fifteen pairs of eyeballs fixed on me like I was an idiot. “Yes, they do,” one girl said, pointing at my crossed legs. “You shave.”

“But I don’t have to,” I said slowly. “I shave because I want to. When you’re older, shaving is fun.” The girls all nodded, like what I had said was perfectly acceptable, but to be honest, I thought my response sounded completely fake. I started to shave when I was 11 because I wanted to be a ‘pretty girl’ and seem older and more attractive. Shaving isn’t fun – it’s a chore. Sometimes, I cut myself and bleed all over the bathtub. And I don’t continue to shave because I want to – I do it because it’s expected of me as a woman. That moment with the girls rolled around in my brain for weeks. Something about the exchange really nagged at me, but I couldn’t put my finger on what, exactly. After all, I had given the girls the politically correct answer – they don’t need to shave now, and if they don’t want to shave later, they don’t have to. But I knew that all fifteen girls would inevitably grow up and shave their legs. Because in our society, that is what women do.

About a month ago, I woke up after a horrible night’s sleep, stumbled into the shower, got out and dried off, and looked at my face in the mirror. And than I actually said out loud to my reflection: “Thank God for makeup.” I meant it, too. There’s no way I would’ve wanted to go out in public with my naked face that day. I had dark circles and a pimple on my chin. Without makeup on, I looked dead. But my remark caught my attention – Thank God for makeup? Like my naked face was really so horrible?

Like the vast majority of women, I wake up every day and engage in Beauty Habits designed to improve my outside appearance – I wear makeup nearly everywhere; I get my hair professionally cut and dyed hair (about $160 every three months!); I shave my armpits, bikini line, and legs; I get my eyebrows waxed (for $40 a month!); I do my nails; I wear uncomfortable clothing. In short, I spend a lot of time, energy, and money on ‘improving’ my looks (I’ll write more about this in the future, but I think a lot of this has to do with where I was raised).

Suddenly, I remembered the shaving conversation at Girls on the Run and realized why it – and the makeup moment – had made me feel so uneasy. It all felt really… inauthentic. After all, my work with Operation Beautiful and my experiences with Girls on the Run is about being comfortable with yourself, embracing your inner beauty, and focusing on what really matters – who you are, not what you look like. Heck, I’ve written two books about this very topic, including one geared towards children (which is now available for pre-order!). I believe this message with every fiber in my body, but in my life, I don’t fully walk the walk. I don’t know if there is something inherently wrong or contradictory with my Beauty Habits, but I feel so dependent on the intention behind them, like if I don’t wear makeup or shave, I’m not a ‘real’ woman. It has gotten to the point that I am not sure why I do it at all – or who I am doing it for. And trust me, I don’t wear makeup, shave, pluck, and wax because it’s ‘fun.’

I recently had coffee with Molly Barker, the founder of Girls on the Run (you can read her Wikipedia page here), and I asked her, “What do you say when a little girl asks you why you wear makeup?” She replied, “I say because it’s fun.” I asked her if that was the truth, and she paused uncomfortably and admitted, “No, it’s because I feel like I have to wear makeup.” I felt so much relief that another woman who works in the same ‘field’ as I do experiences this strange contradiction, too. As we opened up to one another about this complex issue, Molly and I found the difference between what we preach and how we choose to act on a day-to-day basis troubling… so we decided to do something about it. And thus… The Naked Face Project was born.

2012-01-29T09:20:00.000-08:00

“It’s a little-known fact that women were the original programmers of ENIAC, the US Government’s first ever computer. But while teenage girls now use computers and the Internet at rates similar to boys, they are five times less likely to consider a technology-related career,” the UN International Telecommunication Union (ITU) said in a news release.

In the past five years there has been a massive push towards increasing girls participation in STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) education and careers around the globe. So much so that STEM was the focus of last years' Commission on the Status of Women at the UN. As a result of the increased dialogue, a small shift has taken form that is quickly gaining speed and growing exponentially. No longer will there be a career untouched by woman, no longer will it be socially acceptable (any where in the world) for a career to be for men only. Girls in ICT is one of the driving forces behind this change.

The United Nations launched a new web portal focusing on helping girls and women access job opportunities, training, and career advice for those interested in pursuing technology careers. The website – girlsinict.org – is an inspiration for girls and women from around the globe. The designers are focusing on the age range of 11-25 to encourage girls to choose educational resources to align them with the highest potential for a career in the field. The website includes resources such as links to scholarships, internships, ICT contests and awards, tech camps and online networks where they can interact with women working in an industry. The language and tabs are user friendly and the slideshow of women working in the field covers every race, ethnicity, and nationality. The hope is that the currently male-dominated industry will shift towards a more equal gender split by encouraging girls and providing all possible resources to ensure success.

One of the main hurdles is changing the mentality that computer technology jobs are viewed by girls as being unfeminine, too challenging or just plain boring. However, the demand for these jobs worldwide is steadily increasing with not enough qualified individuals to fill the gap in the job market. "The European Union, for example, calculates that in 10 years there will be 700,000 more ICT jobs than there are professionals to fill them. Globally, that shortfall is estimated to be closer to two million."

“Research consistently shows that girls tend to choose careers where they feel they can ‘make a difference’ – healthcare, education, medicine. With this new portal, we’re trying to show them that there’s much more to ICTs than writing computer code,” said ITU Secretary-General Hamadoun Touré.

In order for this portal, mission, and vision at large to take hold and create a sustainable generational change, girls around the globe need to be supported beginning at primary school age to excel in the classroom. (Which also means that all girls must be given their right to attend school in the first place. As well as the right to access the resources to pursue a career of this nature - access to a computer, teacher, internet, classroom...) The truth is that women will not "fall" into these careers, they must be supported and encouraged - and that will require bold cultural changes on behalf of men and women.

"I like that about myself and I like myself and I have a lot of other great qualities as well."

2012-01-27T07:29:00.001-08:00

Regardless of gender, I feel that the most important quality any person can have is loving one's self and being comfortable in one's skin. No two people are exactly alike in skin color, ethnicity, personality, or countless other traits. Every one of us is special, beautiful, and just plain freakin' awesome in our own way.

What is unfortunate in our society today is that we are conditioned to judge people who look, think, or act differently than what is considered "normal." But, I have a news flash: there is no such thing as "normal" (shocking, I know!). Subsequently, you are the only person nearly qualified enough to judge you.

As I wrote above, I think the best quality you can have is to love yourself and be comfortable in your own skin, no matter how different you are from what is considered "normal" these days. You will never fully live your life until you accept yourself for the amazing person that you are.

I am happy to share with you a series of two YouTube videos that many of you might have seen already, which star everybody's favorite anthropomorphic seashell, Marcel. In my opinion, Marcel the Shell perfectly encapsulates what it's like to love yourself, be comfortable in your own skin, and make the best of the cards you're dealt.

Be great today and every day.

Substance and Style

2012-01-25T19:27:00.000-08:00

One of my most favorite things to do is read about people's lives and how they got to where they are today. I find it inspiring and also helpful when considering the future of my career.

So I came across these profiles on Elle.com of 10 of the most powerful women in Washington DC. A political person, I was pumped to read about these women and how they got to where they are. I read about two or three and found it a bit weird how it's substance, substance, substance, then all of a sudden, talking about shoes.

While I am all about shoes (I've used them as inspiration for one of my first blog posts, see here) and fashion (I have an automatic renewal on my Vogue subscription), the way these articles read seemed a bit, well, odd.

These profiles are being used to inaugurate the Style section of Elle.com, so I guess I should expect purses and shoes to intersect with drive and intellect.

Nonetheless, if you can get past the editing weirdness, you'll discover some pretty awesome women you don't get to hear about every day. Maybe some day, your profile will be included.

Click here to read.

Here's a sample profile:

Lovely & Amazing: The Women in DC Power List

For the inaugural of ELLE's new Style section, Lisa DePaulo interviews 10 of the capital’s shiniest stars

Linda Daschle: The Persuader

In a city where lobbyists are the lifeblood (and often considered ruthless), Daschle stands out not only for commitment to her job—when her husband, Tom Daschle, the former Senate majority leader, was in power, she fiercely hung on to her career—but also for her extracurricular activities. While she’s best known as the top woman lobbyist in DC (representing the mighty airline industry; one of her first jobs, before being crowned Miss Kansas, was as an FAA weather watcher), Beltway locals love her for the tireless work she does for the Ford Theatre and the N Street Settlement House (for abused women), among other causes. “My wife has a special place in her heart for women who have had to struggle to survive and have not had many breaks in life,” Tom Daschle says. As for the Miss Kansas thing, she played the piano. Well.

Why she’s devoted to N Street Village, a shelter for abused or addicted women and their children: “It’s one of those miracle places that help women get their lives back, and when I was introduced to it fourteen years ago and met some of these women, it was one of those moments when I said, No matter how busy I am. . .’ But my relationship with them actually started with a horrible tragedy. In my own family. I had a grandmother who was murdered. And this happened in rural Oklahoma. You would never ever think someone who just lived on her farm would ever, you know, meet such a tragic end of life . . . It was a migrant worker; we don’t know why. This was a way that I thought I could honor my grandmother.”

Why she’s equally devoted to the National Organization on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome: Kevin Costner! When Costner made Dances with Wolves in South Dakota (her husband Tom’s home state), he found out about the devastation caused by fetal alcohol syndrome. “No one really was paying attention to this issue, so Tom and Kevin” started the organization, Linda says.

How she got from Oklahoma to Washington: She lived in 10 small towns in Oklahoma, then in Kansas. (Her father was a minister, “so we moved a lot.”) Then she was crowned Miss Kansas in 1976 and sent to the Miss America pageant …

Who she lost to: “Ugh, now we’re going back 34…we actually don’t touch that anymore. It’s kinda like…” The statute of limitations has expired? Right, “I have not watched the pageant for years and years and it’s kind of hard for me to believe I was ever associated, or—I don’t want to say it that way because for a young woman, I mean, from Kansas, it truly was a great experience for me and I gained a lot, you know, whether it was self-confidence or whatever. But it was Dorothy Benham.”

What she wanted to be when she grew up: “An air traffic controller. That was what my career goal was when I competed in the pageant, which I think the judges thought was a little kooky."

Her first job in the aviation industry (before becoming its top lobbyist): A weather watcher for the FAA. “Every hour I took weather measurements to determine precipitation, what the winds were. And all the information was put in a report and sent out to pilots.” (This was pre-modern computers.)

On being a lobbyist: “People think it’s all just running to Capitol Hill and getting an earmark.”

It’s not?!: “Right now my passion is to get GPS-like capabilities in the cockpit. If the Prius can have GPS, I don’t understand why a commercial aircraft can’t.” They don’t already? “Well, I don’t want to oversimplify it, but ours is much more sophisticated and much more precise. And it’s interactive, because we’re still going to have a live air traffic controller at the other end, communicating with the pilots.” Not that woman’s voice? “Oh no.”

Her personal style: Her daughter in law Jill Daschle describes it as part Jackie Kennedy, part Grace Kelly, all refined elegance. “For me, nothing is better than just a great dress and a pair of pumps,” Linda says. “And that’s it. I don’t know how you define classic Washington. But I would say my style runs probably a little bit more classic. I recently saw a bunch of old pictures of Grace Kelly, and I thought, I could wear every one of those.”

Where she shops in DC: Nieman’s, Saks, Nordstrom’s (“since it expanded”). “But I also don’t mind at all a Banana Republic or a J. Crew.”

Her signature: Black patent pumps.

Single Women Targeted By Citibank And Honda Ads

2012-01-25T10:57:00.000-08:00

Interesting article about some recent comercials:

The Huffington Post Katherine Bindley
First Posted: 01/24/2012 9:13 am Updated: 01/24/2012 11:44 am

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/23/single-women-citibank-honda_n_1224780.html?ref=women

If you've watched primetime network TV in the last month or so, you might have come across a commercial for Citibank's "ThankYou Points," a rewards program for its credit card users. It's the one where you see a female rock climber scaling an insanely narrow and jagged rock formation. She plants her feet and stands alone at the top as her boyfriend smiles up at her from far below. Over the course of the ad, she explains,

"My boyfriend and I were going on vacation. We talked about getting a diamond, but with all the ThankYou Points I've been earning, I flew us to the rock I really had in mind."

Or perhaps you caught a similarly themed Honda CRV commercial, also airing this month, that begins with a woman being proposed to in the street. Her answer is, "Married? There were so many things I was going to do first." A montage of her "leap list" -- a list of things one intends to do before a major life milestone -- flashes in her head. "Okay," she eventually tells the man who proposed, "but we have a lot to get done first."

When the Citibank ad came out, it generated so much buzz on the Internet (Was the stunt real? Where was that incredible rock formation? And who was the hot actress?) that CNN did a segment on it. (Yes, it was real, filmed near Moab, Utah, and that's Katie Brown, a top professional climber who began competing as a teenager.)

The New York Times ran a whole article about how the CRV campaign is an example of marketers appealing to the ambitions of consumers in their 20s and 30s. Joe Baratelli, an advertising executive with RPA, said the ad reflects "the life change, the life transition, that Generation Y is going through."

What neither CNN nor the Times noted was the more surprising aspect of these ads: Both show young, attractive women not jumping at the chance to get engaged. The news outlets also failed to mention that these commercials came out just a few months after Kate Bolick's Atlantic Monthly cover article "All the Single Ladies," about women choosing to delay marriage and the stigma against single women fading, and virtually simultaneous to Janelle Nanos' January 2012 Boston Magazine cover story, "Single By Choice," which covered the rise of lifelong singlehood in both men and women.

At first glance, the journalists seem to have seized on what wasn't really news: As Hanna Rosin pointed out in "The End of Men," her 2010 Atlantic cover story, young, single women are more reproductively and financially independent than ever before. In February of 2010, female payroll employees outnumbered their male counterparts nationwide for the first time ever, according to a Labor Department report. A 2010 study by Reach Advisors, a strategy firm that analyzed data from the Census Bureau's American Community Survey, found that in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in the U.S, unmarried, childless women under 30 out-earned men by 8 percent on average. In some places the gap was even more striking; in New York City and San Diego, the study showed, women in their 20s were making 17 percent, and 15 percent more, respectively.

What gave this story new legs was a report released by the Pew Research Center in December of 2011 showing that U.S. marriage rates are at an all time low, and that women who are getting married are doing so later in life.

If the 2010 data showed that single women are working and earning more, the recent marriage data showed how many single women there are -- and that their numbers are likely to multiply in coming years.

The creators of the Citibank and CRV commercials seem to have come to that second conclusion even before the recent marriage data came out. The new commercials sell women the cars and financial products they can now afford by presenting those big ticket items as tools for celebrating their independence rather than attracting a husband.

What's slightly confusing about the Honda CRV campaign, however, is that it has aired during episodes of "The Bachelor" (in addition to the product appearing on the show). It seems paradoxical at first, pairing a campaign targeted at women delaying marriage with a show where women clamor for the chance to marry a man within hours of meeting him.

But as Emma Gray recently pointed out on The Huffington Post, smart, educated women who aren't desperate to get married love "The Bachelor." And if the 2010 Census survey is any indication, lots of those smart women must are likely to have degrees and high-earning jobs. In other words, Honda is reaching its target audience in precisely the right place.

As up to the moment as the Honda and Citibank ads seem, it's worth remembering that they had a very successful precursor. An award-winning 2003 De Beers campaign targeted the high-income 35+ single woman by informing her that she didn't need a man to buy her a solitaire -- she could purchase one on her own and even wear it on her ring finger -- the right one. "Ladies, raise your right hands," went the tagline. That campaign appealed to plenty of single women: in the year following, De Beers saw its non-bridal diamond sales increase by 15 percent.

Citibank and Honda's messages are more subtle, so it remains to be seen whether they'll be as successful as De Beers with the newest batch of single ladies. What do you think? And have you seen any similar ads that we missed?

Is there a place for sex in politics?

2012-01-22T08:00:00.000-08:00

As women and inherently political women at that we must be attentive to how our rights are questioned and sadly violated.

We all remember the recent Herman Cain scandal, but was he really unseated because of his poor-track record in his personal life, or because his personal life made him an untrustworthy candidate to be President (as well as his lack of political know-how).

At a recent debate Michelle Bachman was asked: “As president would you be submissive to your husband?” Again, are we trying to unearth some personal flaw or identify an inherent weakness that would have made her ineffective as a could-have-been potential President? It seems that when the question was posed, she had already made so many comments that negatively affected her campaign that Presidency was a far-fetched reality and the question was merely to hinder her personal gains.

At the recent South Carolina Presidential Debate, Newt Gingrich was the target for questioning personal relationships. The moderator posed the question about Gingrich’s marital relations and lack there of. The question originally steamed from the understanding that in the 90’s Gingrich himself was having an affair while he was admittedly staking grounds against President Clinton for his affair (Even then many questioned why the media cared so much about personal sexual relationships). During the debate, his response was that answering the question served no political gain. As stated by Rachel Maddow: “There is nothing inherently news worthy about someone’s sex life, marriage, former relationships, or private sexual behavior. It is not inherently news worthy…” Granted the point for asking the question in the first place is not to discover if Gingrich is a bad husband, for that – no one cares. However, if using his personal life and personal values to identify if he is a “hypocritical family political” would highlight intricacies that would be vital in the political realm. For example, in regards to his position on instating a same sex ban, Maddow posed the question: “How can you justify passing government judgment on other peoples marriages when your own marriage is the kind of ethical mess that was described by your second wife on ABC news today?”

The Political Debates have become their own form of reality television show with affairs, zingers, and tears. However, these are the Republican candidates that are vying for the opportunity to unseat President Obama and dictate our future. We, the tv watchers of America, need to begin to question the importance of these questions. Is putting a candidates’ sexual past on display at a public debate for the sake of our entertainment, or are we truly unearthing necessary values that will affect their political campaign?

“A friend of mine has a trophy wife, but apparently it wasn't first place.”

2012-01-20T13:08:00.000-08:00

(quote by Steven Wright)

Every so often, thanks to certain anonymous individuals who I love, I get roped into watching various incarnations of the “Real Housewives” reality TV series on the Bravo network. Let me tell you, despite the half-hour length of each episode, it really feels like I’m sitting there forever. When I watch one of these shows, I feel as though they are the absolute bane of my existence.

Let me be clear: I have no deep-seated qualms with movies, TV shows, and other forms of media that are generally regarded as for women just because they’re targeted to women. By virtue of having had girlfriends, I have seen my fair share of “chick flicks,” and I can honestly say that there are more than a couple of these that I have come away from liking very much. My problem with “Real Housewives” includes the sheer fakeness of everything in that show. Sure it’s called “reality TV,” but I think the only reason it deserves that label is because the people in it exist. In fact, I was a little bit disappointed to learn last year that one of the “real housewives” is from my hometown of Berlin, CT, who thankfully was overshadowed by the young actor (and my former high school tennis teammate) Austin Stowell, also from Berlin.

It seems to me that everything these women do on the show is part of a carefully controlled plan to have the perfect life. The only problem is, there’s really no such thing in my opinion. Even if there was, I highly doubt it would consist of being overly catty, dramatic, superficial, and submissive to sexist and unattainable gender roles such as being a trophy wife. I think it gives a bad name to women that these “real housewives” are watched (and legitimately enjoyed) by countless individuals. Even worse still, I’m sure tons of young girls in this country watch and get what I feel is the wrong idea about women.

I must clarify that my brand of feminism definitely leaves room for women to be free to choose how they want to live their lives. Because of this, I have no problem with the show existing in and of itself, nor do I have a problem with their choices to partake in this sort of lifestyle. However, in line with the theme of some of my past blog entries, my biggest point is simply to be aware that the choice exists for all women to be either a professional trophy wife with no other real purpose, or something more.

Beyond Tebowmania: Giving Women a Choice

2012-01-18T19:52:00.000-08:00

Beyond Tebowmania: Giving Women a Choice

Published: January 17, 2012, NYTimes.com
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/18/opinion/beyond-tebowmania-giving-women-a-choice.html?_r=1

To the Editor:

In “He’s a Quarterback, He’s a Winner, He’s a TV Draw, He’s a Verb” (This Land column, front page, Jan. 14), Dan Barry writes about a 2010 Super Bowl commercial telling how Tim Tebow’s mother decided not to end a life-threatening pregnancy and he adds, “There was no tebowing that week in the halls of Planned Parenthood.”

That suggests that Planned Parenthood does not celebrate birth or a remarkable story like Mr. Tebow’s. In fact, the Tebow story exemplifies the health care environment that Planned Parenthood promotes — a world in which women and families are supported in the medical decisions they make for themselves and their families without government interference.

As a mother of three, I can attest that pregnancy can be a precious time in a woman’s life. But there are many stories of women around the world who did not have a choice, did not have a miraculous outcome, and lost their lives for lack of access and care. Planned Parenthood exists to give those women the chance to lead the wonderful lives they might not otherwise have.

One in five women in America have relied on Planned Parenthood for health care, and that includes women of all faiths and political backgrounds.

Planned Parenthood is not about judging women — their decisions or their faith — but caring for them.

CECILE RICHARDS
President, Planned Parenthood Federation of America
New York, Jan. 15, 2012

Fear for the Women of Afghanistan

2012-01-18T14:17:00.000-08:00

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/peggy-drexler/fear-for-the-women-of-afg_b_1210190.html?ref=women

Posted: 1/17/12 09:35 AM ET

As the United States begins to tidy up its affairs in Afghanistan, I have a bad feeling about the women we'll leave behind.

We're already confronted with reports -- and horrific images -- of attacks on women and girls: noses and ears sliced off, acid-ravaged faces, beatings, whippings, honor killings. Just this month comes the story of 15-year-old Sahar Gul, tortured in a basement for months by her new husband and in-laws, apparently because she refused to become a prostitute.

Injuries and mutilations that shocked even the battle-hardened military surgeons are punishments for any number of affronts to patriarchal sensibilities -- from fleeing an abusive husband to refusing a forced marriage to pursuing an education.

If these outrages continue to happen while we're there, what happens when we're not?
The brutalities that rivet world attention for a news cycle or two are extreme examples of a wide and ongoing problem. The rights organization Oxfam International reports that 87 percent of Afghan women have experienced physical, sexual or psychological violence, as well as forced marriage, which Amnesty International says account for 80 percent of all marriages. According to the UK-based charity, Womankind, more than half of all girls married are not yet 16.
The threat-level for females is elevated by a government that is pursuing a policy of reconciliation by courting of the same Taliban that waged a campaign of gender apartheid. President Hamid Karzai now calls them "our upset brothers."

There are early indications that the government -- even without the Taliban under roof -- is uprooting the tendrils of progress of the past ten years.

The new constitution may guarantee the rights of women. But it also says nothing can contradict the principles of Islamic law -- which is undefined and open to interpretation by whoever happens to be in power.

Abdul Hadi Arghandiwal, leader of the ideologically conservative Hizb-i-Islami faction, believes that women and men should not attend the same universities, and that women should not leave the home unless in the company of a male relative. A Time Magazine article quotes his feelings: "What we want in Afghanistan is Islamic rights, not Western rights." He also happens to be the Minister of the Economy.

Recently passed by a Parliament we hoped would enforce constitutional protections is a law that allows husbands to withhold money and food from wives who refuse sex, limits female inheritance, curtails female custody in divorce, and denies women freedom of movement unless sanctioned by their families. The mandated 25 percent of Parliament seats held by women could do nothing to stop it -- in part because many of the 68 women vote with the men who put them in power.

There are those who say that none of this means the days of wanton Taliban brutality and repression will return. The world is now watching.

As we toss the keys to a government duct taped together out of parts of convenience and already limiting female freedoms -- suppose the all-out cultural attack on women resumes. What exactly could the world do other than watch? Perhaps a strongly worded statement.

Women could be beaten in the streets on live TV, and their suffering would never give cause to a return to the $300 million America spends every day in Afghanistan not to mention the prospect of losing more American lives.

Recent history is a lesson in the relativity of women's rights. Russia's occupation was ugly. But life for women under the Communist government was a modern high point. Reforms provided real political roles, economic opportunity and social freedoms greater than women have today.
All of that was swept away by the Taliban in the five short years between 1996 and 2001. Then it was restored piecemeal by Western occupation and investment over the past ten.

The clear lesson is that the safety and dignity of the country's women are hostage to the beliefs of the men who carry the guns. We saw in Vietnam and, possibly in Iraq, the convenient futility of propping up a government and its military just long enough to get out of town. As we pack up our guns and go, who and what will pick up the ones we leave behind?

It's possible that guarantees for women in the Afghan constitution will withstand the power vacuum in the wake of our departure. It's possible that the Taliban as part of the government will think differently than the one that brutally repressed human rights, and was perfectly happy to sacrifice health, economy and modernity in the name of purity. It's possible that the new government will be strong enough -- and the army loyal enough -- to allow the Taliban to join the government without consuming it.

For the sake of the long-suffering Afghan woman, let's hope that all comes to pass -- because there is little we can do but watch in horror if it doesn't.

'The Bachelor': Love it or Hate It?

2012-01-17T13:49:00.000-08:00

While I don't watch ' The Bachelor', I am addicted to a few shows that I deny watching in conversations with just about everyone! I have asked myself, out loud at times, "why am I even watching this?" Yet every week I am back watching, drawn to the crazy, unrealistic drama that ensues before me. The below article takes a stab at trying to explain why women watch shows that we know consist of far more drama than real life scenarios.....

'The Bachelor': Why Smart Women Watch (and Love) It
Emma Gray, Assistant Editor, HuffPost Women & HuffPost Parents

Confession time: I watched "The Bachelor" ... and I liked it. I've been hopelessly and unfortunately trapped in the series' web of tears, overly-earnest declarations of love and tacky dresses -- and I'm far from alone.

I'm a relatively new devotee to this cultural phenomenon, which first hit the small screen in 2002, and has spanned spin-offs "The Bachelorette" (2003) and "Bachelor Pad" (2010). After avoiding the franchise successfully for nine years, I was invited to a viewing party by some women that I worked with during Ashley Hebert's season of "The Bachelorette," last May. I was officially hooked, following Ashley through her engagement to JP Rosenbaum, watching all 18 "Bachelor Pad" contestants simultaneously self-destruct and now I'm knee deep in white wine tears on "The Bachelor" -- despite the glaring fact that each of the three series is objectively horrendous. (If you look up "trash television" in the dictionary, you'll probably find former contestant Jake Pavelka's beady eyes staring back at you.)

Most of my peers have a love-hate relationship with "The Bachelor" -- specifically, we hate that we love it. The underlying messages of the show are beyond terrible. We're essentially told that all women in their twenties should be desperately searching for a man to marry (most of the 30-something bachelorettes are portrayed as a particular breed of desperate), and that women are, in general, complete and utter nutjobs (see Melissa Schreiber, Vienna Girardi and of course blogger Jenna Burke). Although, of course, this only applies to white women, as people of color rarely -- if ever -- get cast. Every single one of this season's 25 finalists is white ... or spray tan orange.

Yet even knowing all of these things, season after season, droves of intelligent, successful women come back to ABC and host Chris Harrison for more. In the words of "Brokeback Mountain's" Jack: "I just can't quit you." So why do we do it to ourselves? Is it just pure masochism, or is there something else at play?

Everyone Loves A Good Train Wreck
I'm not proud of this, but there's just something inherently appealing about watching a human being get too drunk, burst into fake tears, and generally embody the term "hot mess." I think it's probably related to the morbid curiosity that impels people to slow down in the middle of the interstate to get a good long look. Watching the women of "The Bachelor" cry in bathroom stalls, discuss their burgeoning careers as VIP cocktail waitresses and dental consultants, and threaten to physically harm each other over a man they barely know, is alternately horrifying and captivating.

It's A Safe Outlet For Our Frustrations
Mondays are hard. Maybe you had a terrible weekend and are still feeling a little under the weather, maybe you had a crappy day at work, maybe your roommate is getting on your nerves or maybe you're just pissed off for no reason at all. Want a safe way to let out your anger without being hurtful to your loved ones? Enter "The Bachelor."

Last week I attended a "Bachelor"-viewing party (aka six women in a room drinking wine and ordering Indian food). Most of the women I've spoken with who watch the show also tend to watch with their female friends. "It's a bonding experience!" said my co-worker, Amanda. "My favorite thing about watching 'The Bachelor' is being able to talk about all the drama with friends during and after the episode." This bonding experience primarily consists of critiquing the contestants' outfits (far too many, too-tight, cut-out dresses), words (how many times in a two-hour period can key phrases "genuine," "journey," "real love" and "connection" be used?), and actions (so many tears and so much backstabbing).

Let me emphasize that most of the women I know are kind and thoughtful people who go out of their way to compliment their female friends, and are very hesitant to talk about other women behind their backs. But we all seem to have come to a tacit agreement that the fact that Ben Flajnik's prospects put themselves on national television makes them fair game. Former finalist Michelle Money, even admitted on "Ellen," "I think anyone is crazy who voluntarily goes on 'The Bachelor.'" Plus -- the women on the show are 10 times more awful to each other than we could ever be as viewers ("bitch," "slut," "clinger" and "cougar" are only a selection of names that the finalists threw at one another during the Jan. 9 episode). And lest you think that Bachelor Ben got off easy, he got his fair share of criticism as well. "He has a dumb-looking face," muttered a friend of mine as he came on-screen.

"Bachelor" Love Is So Fake (And Warped) That It Makes Us Grateful For The (Oft-Painful) Real Thing
Although most educated adults realize by now that "reality" television is highly constructed, that idea has never been more obvious than on a show that manufactures "true love." (My co-worker Jess even commented that "The Bachelor" was far less realistic than "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" -- and that says a lot.) In what world are we supposed to believe that 25 random girls would all fall madly in love with one dopey dude (and in a matter of hours)?

While it's fun to watch all of the uber-cheesy, romance-laden dates unfold on television, the reality of sitting in an empty theater with a practical stranger watching my old baby videos (an actual date that occurred on last week's episode) sounds more uncomfortable than anything. Watching makes us glad we date off-screen, in a world where we will never meet a man by riding in on a white horse or get dumped on a glacier.

We also get to revel in the fact that none of us would go to such lengths to impress a man. Tell another woman you'll cut her face off? Nope. Leave your PhD program to move across the country to a small town? Not even if Ryan Gosling showed up in a limo holding a boom box over his head with two dozen roses and said "You're the one." (Well, maybe for Ryan Gosling ...)

Plus, if there were ever a reason to fully let go of the Prince Charming fantasy that shows like "The Bachelor" attempt to play upon, just look at the numbers. Of all of the couples "magically" brought together on the franchise, only three are still together -- one being Ashley and JP who have yet to reach the year mark of their engagement. Most of us would rather brave the uncomfortable waters of meeting people in bars, through friends or on OKCupid than cut down other women on national television, or snag a man and then be publicly dumped -- details of the whole messy affair splashed across the tabloids.

So instead of taking "The Bachelor" franchise too seriously or using it as any kind of model for our own conduct, we take from it exactly what it can give us -- an escape from our daily lives, a reason to appreciate our real, imperfect romances, and an excuse to drink wine on a Monday night ... sans tears.

The Worth of a Girl-Child

2012-01-15T20:42:00.000-08:00

Worldwide, there is a collective movement to promote activism and advocacy for girl’s rights to education. Internationally, this tends to be an argument focused by developed countries on developing countries. However, there are girls living in poverty and denied access to education in every country worldwide. Additionally, the Convention on the Rights of the Child which promises girls the right to access quality education is notably not ratified by the United States of America; arguably the most vocal of the first world countries. Around the globe, girls are not able to overcome the barriers of poverty to consistently complete primary and secondary education. The economic constraints of poverty on families create situations that remove girls from education prior to completing secondary education. If the family is provided economic support to alleviate aspects of poverty that are directly correlated to the girls’ enrollment in school, there will be an increased period of attendance. The net gains include, but are not limited to, higher attendance rates, older age for marriage and maternity, decreased infant mortality, decreased HIV/AIDS, increased literacy and livelihood, and decreased generational poverty. The desired outcome is universal integration of a universal stipend program, which has been successfully implemented in several countries.

Girls are the best indicator of poverty as they are the most marginalized population, as such it is through the plight of girls that the global community has realized that poverty prohibits educational attainment. Access to education enables growth physically, mentally, and socially in ways that cannot be met through other avenues. The United Nations and participating State parties have nearly reached consensus to protect and work towards universal education as explicitly stated under the Convention on the Rights of the Child Article 28 paragraph 1 section (a): “Make primary education compulsory and available free to all. (OHCHR, 1989)”. While education is a right, it is not addressed under one universal mandate. The girl child needs the support of each government to commit to change policies to improve the educational system by addressing poverty.

A wide variety of global statistics display the plight and insurmountable barriers impeding girls from achieving their right to an education. It is estimated that 54% of the 72 million children out of school are girls (EFA Global Monitoring Report, 2010). While some communities need support for both sexes to attend school, gender parity would cut the number of girls out of school by over 6 million. In countless countries, girls that have not shown potential to their guardians by the time they complete primary education are pulled from school to work or marry. In sub-Saharan Africa, almost 12 million girls may never enroll in school. In Yemen, nearly 80% of girls out of school are unlikely ever to enroll, compared with 36% of boys. Turkey faces cultural barriers in addition to poverty that prevents 43% of Kurdish-speaking girls from receiving more than two years of education. Similarly, 97% of Hausa-speaking Nigerian girls from impoverished homes have less than two years’ education. As of 2006. Pakistani girls accounted for 60% of out-of school children (Global Campaign for Education, 2010).

It is not frivolous to invest in girls when it is proven that educated women are more influential to their communities. Illiteracy is directly correlated to unemployment, in addressing issues of unemployment worldwide, two thirds of the 759 million adults that are illiterate are women. Women aged 25-34 in Bangladesh have illiteracy rates 32% higher than men in the same age group. In Afghanistan, 87% of women were illiterate in 2000. In Chad, Ethiopia and Mali, women are 1.5 times more likely than men to be illiterate. In Iran, unemployment rates among women aged 20 to 24 are twice the level of men the same age group (Global Campaign for Education, 2010). Millions of women that are not living to their fullest potential and cannot contribute their optimum amount to their community. Learning needs to start with children to improve the lives of adults, and it is our responsibility to provide the tools for success.

Several countries have implemented local and federal policies that have improved girl’s access to education. Established federally in 2003, Brazil established Bolsa Familia, also referred to as Bolsa Escola or the family grant. This federal welfare program provides financial aid to families living in poverty with children of age to attend primary or secondary education on the condition children have consistent attendance in school and are up to date on vaccines.

Similarly, Mexico established Oportunidades, a program that provides a cash transfer directly to families living in poverty with children. The funds are to be used to supplement the cost of food, vaccines, and dietary needs. By 2006, the program was responsible for aiding one-quarter of Mexico’s population. Bangladesh established the Food for Education Program in 1993 which targeted the enrollment rate and consistent attendance of children. The program provided landless and very poor children with a monthly allocation of wheat or rice for their family for regular attendance. In addition, the Primary Education Stipend Program introduced bank-mediated disbursement procedures fit to cover over 5.5 million students (Tietjen, 2003).

It is a priority of the United Nation’s mission to promote academic programs addressing girl’s rights to access primary and secondary education for it is directly correlated to all eight Millennium Development Goals. Within the MDGs is goal number two, achievement of universal primary education. Mr. Anthony Lake, executive director of UNICEF, stated that “Universal primary education cannot be achieved without extending schooling to those currently excluded, the poorest and the most marginalized children (UNICEF, 2010).” Expenditure by the state party to appropriately implement the policy is reliant on true and thorough assessment and allocation of an appropriate budget based on analysis of poverty specific to the country. There is a positive correlation between supporting school attendance and successful employment. Education should be geared to the development of potential and to equipping the individual with skills needed for employment. Decent work and supportive income are the best means for enabling families to move out of poverty. Girls are young women who will grow up to be mothers of children, and leaders of the community, corporations, and countries. It is our right as adults, caretakers, educators, government officials, presidents, and friends to help girls develop to their full potential. Girls who are not counted do not count. It is our duty to account for every girl.

If you are dedicated to the rights of women and children and can get to New York, come to the Commission on the Status of Women

References
Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights (OHCHR) (1989) Convention on the Rights of the Child. Retrieved from: http://www2.ohchr.org/english/law/crc.htm

Duffy, G. (25 May 2010) Family friendly: Brazil's scheme to tackle poverty. BBC News. Education for All Global Monitoring Report. (2010) reaching the marginalized. Retrieved from: http://www.unesco.org/en/efareport/reports/2010-marginalization/

Global Campaign for Education. (2010). Today is international women’s day: Facts & Figures. Retrieved from: http://www.campaignforeducation.org/en/today-is-international-womens-day

Khandker, S., M. Pitt and N. Fuwa, The World Bank (March 2003). Subsidy to Promote Girls’ Secondary Education: The Female Stipend Program in Bangladesh. Retrieved from: http://www.h.chiba-u.ac.jp/mkt/revised%20fssap%20paper9b.pdf

Tietjen, K. 2003. “The Bangladesh Primary Education Stipend Project: A Descriptive Analysis. Retrieved from: http://siteresources.worldbank.org/EDUCATION/Resources/278200-1099079877269/547664-1099080014368/BangladeshStipend.pdf

United Nations (n.d.) We can end poverty 2015 Millennium Development Goals; A gateway to the UN system’s work on the MDGs. Retrieved from: http://www.un.org/millenniumgoals/bkgd.shtml

UNICEF (7 September 2010) Focus on world’s disadvantaged children can save millions of lives. Retrieved from: http://www.un.org/apps/news/story.asp?NewsID=35832&Cr=UNICEF&Cr1=

World Bank. (November 2002) Bangladesh, improving governance for reducing poverty. Retrieved from: http://library.bracu.ac.bd/cgi-bin/koha/opac-detail.pl?biblionumber=5381&shelfbrowse_itemnumber=5242

World Bank (n.d.) Shanghai Poverty Conference: Case Study Summary. Mexico’s Oportunidades Program. Retrieved from: http://info.worldbank.org/etools/docs/reducingpoverty/case/119/summary/MexicoOportunidades%20Summary.pdf

** re-cited/formatted from academic posting at IASSW

Spit on a Stranger: A New Rosa Parks

2012-01-15T17:53:00.000-08:00

When you think of Israel what do you think of? Probably something about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. One would think that one conflict was enough - but no, apparently we all just can't get along. Right now, the conflict is actually between the secular and religious Israelis west of Jerusalem in a small town called Beit Shemesh. The town is primarily Jewish and hosts a population of more than 80,000 residents nearly equal male/female.

In late December, Haredi (ultra-Orthodox) men began protesting gender equality. One of the first reports was that of a eight year old girl who was spit on by an religious zealot man. "Eight-year-old Naama Margolis was recently featured on Israel’s most-watched news program because she was too afraid to walk to school her Orthodox neighborhood after Haredi men spit and cursed at her for dressing immodestly, in their view." Her plight was shortly followed by a woman now referred to as the 'Rosa Parks of Israel' who was reprimanded to sit in the back of the bus; she refused. In the following days, a woman in military uniform was called a 'Shicksa' and other vulgar names in Yiddish by a Orthodox man when riding the bus. The woman was standing in close proximity to the men and the uniform was apparently deemed immodest clothing for a woman to wear in public. Incidents have been flaring in the town as Haredi men act out against women who they feel are acting and dressing immodest to the extent that they will not allow for women to walk on the same side of the road. Hey Americans, Sound familiar?

Well, the international community has stepped up support for women. Aish HaTorah, a Orthodox pro-Israel organization, posted an anonymous letter titled "How Dare You?" specifically directed at the 'Beit Shemesh Spitter'.

The conversation has turned towards solutions. Netanyahu proposed divding the town between the secular and the zealots. While this is a contested option, it will be the women who will create the necessary change, not the Mayor - no offense sir. The women in Beit Shemesh are not sitting idly by. Since the first incident, women have been tactfully using their voice to advocate for their rights. Not only have there been daily reports to the media, letters to the editor, but 250 women participated in a flashmob to Queen's 'Don't Stop me Now'. Other protests have been coordinated over the past three weeks. While the men's riots against women's equality have resulted in arrests, the women's outcry of inequality has received positive international publicity. Thus, it will be the women of Beit Shemesh, and all of Israel, coming together regardless of religious affiliation, location, or age advocating for their right to equality that will Speak Out and create change.

Can Social Media Empower Arab Women?

2012-01-11T19:39:00.000-08:00

Will there be a revolution in Arab women rights after the Arab Spring? Perhaps social media will help?

Can Social Media Empower Arab Women?

by Julie Tomlin
1.10.12

After a year when popular movements swept across the Arab world, it's maybe not surprising that the number of people using Facebook and Twitter in the region has shot up.

There were 36,016,664 Facebook users in Arab countries by November 2011 - almost double the number in the same month in 2010 and over 652,000 people were signed up to Twitter, according to a new report published by the Dubai School of Government late last year.

But despite the prominence of women during the Arab Spring, both in the protests and in online activism, one social media statistic remained unchanged; men in the Arab world remain twice as likely to use social media than women, who still only made up just over 33 per cent of users in the Arab world. Worldwide, they make up half of all social media users.

There was a strong belief among the women who took part that social media could enhance women's participation in economic, political life, allowing them increased self-expression and the means of promoting social change.

Those Arab women who use social media are certainly part of a broader shift that has taken place in how it is used, according to the report. In the past year, social media has become more than a tool for social networking and entertainment, it "now infiltrates almost every aspect of the daily lives of millions of Arabs, affecting the way they interact socially, do business, interact with government, or engage in civil society movements".

Most men and women in the Arab world primarily use social media to access information and connect with people, but 60% of all those who took part said they used it for community and political activism.

Marginally more men than women believed that social media promoted political equality between the sexes, although women were slightly more optimistic that the tools would make it easier for them to express themselves, enable them to participate in civil society and be role models for social change, and improve their rights and economic status.

But the "real life" social and cultural barriers women face will have to be overcome if more women are going to participate in social media and see it impact their lives, the report concludes.

Some of the barriers women face such as ICT literacy, confidence in using social media for communication and lack of education could be overcome by practical measures including training.

But the most significant barriers are the social constraints women face in everyday life, the report says. Some women pointed out that reliance on social media alone was not enough to challenge discriminatory attitudes and practices:

"I believe the Arab women should not depend on the social media cover to express their opinion or produce role models, it starts out in the interaction with the people not behind the screen," one respondent said.

Two examples show how for some women, social media is so embedded in their lives that they use it seamlessly in their campaigns:

Egypt-based Harassmap, launched in 2010 to raise awareness of and tackle sexual harassment. The group initiated a day of blogging and tweeting against sexual harassment last year using the hashtag #endsh and also launched an initiative against sexual harassment for a safe Eid holiday in August and a 'catch a harasser' day on 2 November.

In Saudi Arabia, Women2Drive, a campaign launched by Manal Al Sharif calling for women's right to drive attracted worldwide support.

Both of these projects also show there is a balance to be struck - none of them focus solely on raising awareness, or communicating online. They recognise the importance of physical actions such as taking to the streets or getting in the driving seat of a car and of speaking out against practices that have long been held taboo.

Upcoming Event: The Thick Chronicles: A Body Image Story

2012-01-11T12:48:00.001-08:00

This event about body image looks like it will be great!

Saturday, January 28 @ 8:00 p.m.
Sunday, January 29 @ 5:00 p.m.

Trinty-On-Main
69 Main Street
New Britain, CT

Tickets:
$15 for adults 18 & older
$10 for students with school ID and children under 13

Event website click here
Founder: Tracy "Mind.Evolution." Caldwell
Co-Creator: Alison McMeans
Co-Creator/Director: Shireal Renee

Hosted by: Lynnette Johnson

HARTFORD, CT- Brighter Than Before Entertainment of Hartford presents its second run of The Thick Chronicles: A Body Image Story at Trinity-On-Main on Saturday, January 28th and Sunday, January 29th. The show is a collection of poems, skits and first person accounts of people's love/hate relationship with their bodies told through poignant and humorous stories. The ensemble cast of men and women features actors, poets and members of the community from the areas of Hartford, New Haven and Springfield. Each piece gives voice to the inner struggle that all people have with self-esteem and self-acceptance, flaws and all. The goal of the show isn’t just to entertain, but also to inform and empower.

I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me

2012-01-06T09:29:00.000-08:00

There are things as a man that I will never fully understand about women. Aside from the obvious like childbirth and Tupperware parties, I’ll never fully understand what it’s like to be a woman out alone. I observe it all the time from the outside, however. One time when I was golfing, a young woman was jogging down the adjacent road and a man in a car was just casually driving at her speed talking to her through the open window, which from my perspective was totally creepy and pretty much gave me the heebie-jeebies.

That really got me to thinking how strange and creepy the world can be, especially relating to my sister who lives on her own in a city. She has to travel by herself across the city to and from her job every day. If I had to do that, it would probably be more of a minor annoyance than anything else. However, her necessary steps included acquiring pepper spray, speaking to a police officer to find the safest route, and upgrading to a smartphone just for the GPS feature. Add to all this that she’s only five feet tall and good-looking, and she’s definitely a prime target for creepy guys to prey on. (The joke’s on the creepy guys though, since she’s a personal trainer, basically works out for a living, and once defeated the men she works with in a pushup contest.)

This isn’t to say that men don’t need to worry walking around cities and parking lots by themselves, but it’s just such a strange phenomenon to me that women have so much more to worry about. I can attest that sometimes men think with things other than their brains, and it’s often difficult not to look for more than a second or two when a pretty girl walks by. Now, I don’t know the severity of this issue, but I definitely find it concerning that it has to be an issue. Point being, I think it stinks that women have to deal with walking around with a near-constant sense of being watched, and I give women all the credit in the world for it.

Being the Entrepreneur of Your Career

2012-01-05T04:53:00.000-08:00

I thought this would apply to everyone-- after all, we are entrepreneurs of our own careers.

Why Every Entrepreneur Needs a Personal Board of Directors

Contributed by YEC Women on the Forbes Women website, 1/3/2012

Our society emphasizes friends, family and co-workers as essential parts of our emotional and professional support system. Friends can offer distraction and encouragement, family members give unconditional love and co-workers may provide a sense of camaraderie and even professional advice. However, there are times when we need a fourth type of support in the form of a personal board of directors.

A personal board of directors is usually made up of up to six professionals in your age group — but not necessarily in your industry to — who meet once a month to for brainstorming and encouragement. Keith Ferazzi, in his book Who’s Got Your Back, was one of the first to promote this idea of a small, intimate professional networking group.

If you’re not convinced, here are a few reasons a personal board of directors could be worth considering:

More Honest Than Friends and Family
Friends and family can be wonderfully supportive and encouraging, but the often don’t want to be constructively honest or, if you are talking about Mom, Dad or Grandma, they think everything you do is spectacular no matter what. A personal board of directors is a great way to have a supportive — but honest group of individuals to bounce ideas off of, get advice and constructive criticism on everything from reports to resumes.
Break From Your Industry
Sometimes it is good to take a break from your industry or co-workers and get an outside perspective. Often times this can help bring new energy to your ideas or career and get you to meet new people.
Creating Accountability
Goals can be hard to keep. With a personal board of directors you can set goals and have your co-members help you stick to them. A recent working paper for the National Bureau of Economic Research, researchers confirmed the importance of having a small peer group to depend on. Their research suggests it’s best to motivate groups, not individuals. They compared compensation packages and found that group incentive pay motivated workers better than individual incentive compensation.
Hone Your People-to-People Skills
In this digital age we spend less and less time with others — especially virtual workers. Researchers Massachusetts Institute of Technology Sloan School of Management have found that groups of people who did well on tests had the most members who were also good at reading each other’s emotions. They had equal contributions to communications and were patient with each other’s answers and issues. One of the best parts of a personal board of directors is that you do not need a leader and as a group you can solve problems as a group better than one of the individual members could by themselves.

How to Start Your Personal Board of Directors Group?

Identify between four and six professionals.
The hardest part is connecting with a good group. Think of a few professionals you know who may or may not be in your industry who you think are intelligent, open-minded and collaborative. If you can only think of one or two this is fine too — those members might have a few people in mind to invite.
Decide how often to meet.
I know personal board of director groups who meet every week. Others check-in once every six months. Have an idea of how often you want to meet and tell invitees what to expect.
Define ground rules.
Once you have got an group together define some ground rules — no one leader, open support, constructive criticism only, confidentiality etc. You might want to create a Google Doc with the rules and then decide on your structure. I encourage Board of Director groups to go over goals every time they meet and then do goal check-ins with each other.
Let it grow.
You will find that your group will grow on its own — both in terms of rules and members. Remember, you do not want it to be too big because you want everyone to feel supported, but otherwise let members dictate the direction of the group.

Vanessa Van Petten specializes in social and emotional intelligence research and development. She is the CEO of Science of People, focusing on research youth behavior and help adults keep up with young adults. Her company not only reaches out to families, but also works with brands and individuals to help them use social and emotional intelligence to improve website traffic, sales and branding.

via YEC

Co-Founded by Natalie MacNeil and Scott Gerber, YEC Women is an initiative of the Young Entrepreneur Council (YEC), an invite-only nonprofit organization comprised of the country’s most promising young entrepreneurs. The YEC promotes entrepreneurship as a solution to youth unemployment and underemployment and provides its members with access to tools, mentorship, and resources that support each stage of a business’s development and growth.

Do Working Moms Really Prefer Part-Time Jobs?

2012-01-04T08:57:00.000-08:00

Do Working Moms Really Prefer Part-Time Jobs?

Interesting article...

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/12/16/do-working-moms-really-prefer-part-time-jobs/

December 16, 2011
By KJ DELL’ANTONIA

The National Marriage Project released an optimistic report this week on marital satisfaction and parenthood. Because “When Baby Makes Three” was edited by the director of the project, which aims to promote marriage by identifying “strategies to increase marital quality and stability,” and by the Director of the Center for Marriage and Families at the Institute for American Values, which seeks to increase “the proportion of children growing up with their two married parents,” this is not a report that focuses on numbers showing that marital happiness decreases among parents. It’s a report that looks at why that’s not true for a “substantial minority of husbands and wives.”

The result is a nice list of things successful married couples who aren’t made miserable by their kids do for and with one another. Tara Parker Pope wrote about it for last Sunday’s Times Magazine (“The Generous Marriage”). But hidden beneath the advice for couples was a section on the way social and cultural factors that are difficult for an individual to control impact marital/parental happiness. The less affluent and educated you are, the more likely you are to divorce. The more debt you have, and the more day-to-day worries about money, the less likely you are to describe yourself as “very happy” in your marriage (I recognize that this is not a surprising statistic). And if you’d prefer to work “part time” but find yourself instead working “full time,” then women, especially, are significantly more likely to be unhappy with their marriage (and presumably with life in general).

But why do so many women say they’d prefer to work part time in the first place? I spoke briefly to W. Bradford Wilcox and asked him how the question was phrased. What 58 percent of women responding to the Survey on Marital Generosity really said was that that they preferred to work, not “part time” per se, but 34 hours a week or less (only 20 percent of men said the same). That’s not a result that’s unique to this survey: a 2009 Pew survey on workplace demographics found that 61 percent of mothers with young children would prefer to work part time. My former colleague at Slate’s XXFactor blog, Jessica Gross, was momentarily surprised by those numbers. Why, she asked, the huge contrast between what married men and women with children want?

Could it be the way they’re phrasing the question?

Both men and women want flexibility in the workplace to support our family lives. According to the Families and Work Institute’s report on the status of workplace flexibility in the United States, in 2008, 49 percent of employed men with families reported experiencing work-family conflict (up from 34 percent in 1977). The same report points out that workplace flexibility is just as important to the job satisfaction of low-wage employees as it is to high earners, and just as feasible, albeit in different ways. But the report concludes that the “culture of flexibility appears to be stagnating,” with little growth and fears among employees that taking advantage of flexibility that’s offered will interfere with their employment.

In the absence of workplace flexibility, the one way to guarantee that a job will allow you to meet the demands of family life is simple: work fewer hours. So when women tick their way through a survey on work and family in whatever form and reach the question about work hours, many of us are looking for a question that’s not there. “Thirty-four hours or less” doesn’t really represent a desire for part-time work, with its overtones of secondary and lesser roles. It represents a desire for something “other.”

Into that desire comes so much of what we’ve been talking about lately at Motherlode: issues of available, affordable child care, health care, safe housing and even healthy school meal programs. With those things, the need for shorter hours wanes. Without them — if, like Soni Sangha, your child is one of the nearly 10,000 kids who don’t get a slot at any of the public pre-K programs in New York City (where 28,817 applicants vie for 19,834 positions) — 34 hours or less is suddenly the only viable option. (Read about Sangha, who created a co-op pre-K for her son, and investigated the legal status of other parents who’ve done the same, here.)

Of parents who want to work, do more moms than dads really want to work part time? Or have women just accepted a reality that working fewer hours in the absence of true workplace flexibility for both parents is more conducive to a smooth family life? Would fewer work hours make you happier, or is it the flexibility of the hours that counts?

Womens Health Forum This Friday!!

2012-01-03T08:16:00.000-08:00

A long-time champion for women’s health, Congressman Chris Murphy is hosting a Women's Health Forum this Friday, January 6th from 12pm-1:30pm. Congressman Murphy, along with his panel of highly distinguished guests, will discuss the recent women’s health and reproductive rights victories and setbacks in Washington. The Forum will be held in the Old Judiciary Room of the Capitol Building in downtown Hartford. If you are interested in attending this wonderful event please RSVP to Meghan Forgione, 860-223-8412.

I have included the event specifics below and hope you all can attend!

Please Join

Congressman Chris Murphy

Dr. Kristen Zarfos, St. Francis Hospital

Teresa Younger, Executive Director PCSW

Christian Miron, Executive Director NARAL Pro-Choice CT

to discuss recent women’s health and reproductive rights victories and setbacks in Washington.

A long-time champion for women’s health, Congressman Murphy is the author of a provision of the new health care law which establishes into law federal offices of women’s health.

Old Judiciary Room

Capitol Building

210 Capitol Ave

Hartford, CT

12 pm to 1:30 pm

Friday, January 6, 2012

For Somali Women, Pain of Being a Spoil of War

2011-12-29T06:09:00.000-08:00

I have to say, I've never felt so angry when reading an article. There's got to be something that can be done.

For Somali Women, Pain of Being a Spoil of War
By JEFFREY GETTLEMAN
Published: December 27, 2011

MOGADISHU, Somalia — The girl’s voice dropped to a hush as she remembered the bright, sunny afternoon when she stepped out of her hut and saw her best friend buried in the sand, up to her neck.

Her friend had made the mistake of refusing to marry a Shabab commander. Now she was about to get her head bashed in, rock by rock. “You’re next,” the Shabab warned the girl, a frail 17-year-old who was living with her brother in a squalid refugee camp.

Several months later, the men came back. Five militants burst into her hut, pinned her down and gang-raped her, she said. They claimed to be on a jihad, or holy war, and any resistance was considered a crime against Islam, punishable by death.

“I’ve had some very bad dreams about these men,” she said, having recently escaped the area they control. “I don’t know what religion they are.”

Somalia has been steadily worn down by decades of conflict and chaos, its cities in ruins and its people starving. Just this year, tens of thousands have died from famine, with countless others cut down in relentless combat. Now Somalis face yet another widespread terror: an alarming increase in rapes and sexual abuse of women and girls.

The Shabab militant group, which presents itself as a morally righteous rebel force and the defender of pure Islam, is seizing women and girls as spoils of war, gang-raping and abusing them as part of its reign of terror in southern Somalia, according to victims, aid workers and United Nations officials. Short of cash and losing ground, the militants are also forcing families to hand over girls for arranged marriages that often last no more than a few weeks and are essentially sexual slavery, a cheap way to bolster their ranks’ flagging morale.

But it is not just the Shabab. In the past few months, aid workers and victims say, there has been a free-for-all of armed men preying upon women and girls displaced by Somalia’s famine, who often trek hundreds of miles searching for food and end up in crowded, lawless refugee camps where Islamist militants, rogue militiamen and even government soldiers rape, rob and kill with impunity.

With the famine putting hundreds of thousands of women on the move — severing them from their traditional protection mechanism, the clan — aid workers say more Somali women are being raped right now than at any time in recent memory. In some areas, they say, women are being used as chits at roadblocks, surrendered to the gunmen staffing the barrier in the road so that a group of desperate refugees can pass.

“The situation is intensifying,” said Radhika Coomaraswamy, the United Nations’ special representative for children and armed conflict. All the recent flight has created a surge in opportunistic rapes, she said, and “for the Shabab, forced marriage is another aspect they are using to control the population.”

In the past two months, from Mogadishu alone, the United Nations says it has received more than 2,500 reports of gender-based violence, an unusually large number here. But because Somalia is a no-go zone for most operations, United Nations officials say they are unable to confirm the reports, leaving the work to fledgling Somali aid organizations under constant threat.

Somalia is a deeply traditional place, where 98 percent of girls are subject to genital cutting, according to United Nations figures. Most girls are illiterate and relegated to their homes. When they venture out, it is usually to work, trudging through the rubble-strewn alleyways wrapped head to toe in thick black cloth, often lugging something on their back, the equatorial sun burning down on them.

The famine and mass displacement, which began over the summer, have made women and girls more vulnerable. Many Somali communities have been disbanded, and with armed groups forcing men and boys into their militias, it is often single women, with children in tow, who set off on the dangerous odyssey to refugee camps.

At the same time, aid workers and United Nations officials say the Shabab, who are fighting Somalia’s transitional government and imposing a harsh version of Islam in the areas they control, can no longer pay their several thousand fighters the way they used to. Much as they seize crops and livestock, giving their militants what they call “temporary wives” is how the Shabab keep many young men fighting for them.

But these are hardly marriages, said Sheik Mohamed Farah Ali, a former Shabab commander who defected to the government army.

“There’s no cleric, no ceremony, nothing,” he said, adding that Shabab fighters had even paired up with thin little girls as young as 12, who are left torn and incontinent afterward. If a girl refuses, he said, “she’s killed by stones or bullets.”

One young woman just delivered a baby, half Somali, half Arab. She said she was selected by a Somali Shabab fighter she knew, brought to a house full of guns and handed off to a portly Arab commander, one of the many foreigners fighting for the Shabab.

“He did whatever he wanted with me,” she said. “Night and day.” She said she escaped when he was sleeping.

The Elman Peace and Human Rights Center is one of the few Somali organizations helping rape victims, run by Fartuun Adan, a tall, outspoken woman whose husband, Elman, was gunned down by warlords years ago. Ms. Adan says that since the famine began, she has met hundreds of women who have been raped and hundreds more who have escaped forced marriages.

“You have no idea how difficult it is for them to come forward,” she said. “There’s no justice here, no protection. People say, ‘You’re junk’ if you’ve been raped.”

Often, the women are left wounded or pregnant, forced to seek help. Ms. Adan wants to expand her medical services and counseling for rape victims and possibly open a safe house, but it is hard to do on a budget of $5,000 a month, provided by a small aid organization called Sister Somalia. Ms. Adan wept on a recent day as she listened to the 17-year-old girl recount the story of seeing her friend stoned to death and then being gang-raped herself.

“These girls ask me, ‘How am I going to get married, what’s going to be my future, what’s going to happen to me?’ ” she said. “We can’t answer that.”

Some of the women in Ms. Adan’s office seem to have come from another time. They have made it here, with help from Elman’s network, from the deepest recesses of rural Somalia, where women are still treated like chattel.

One 18-year-old who asked to go by Ms. Nur, her common last name, was married off at 10. She was a nomad and says that to this day she has never used a phone or seen a television.

She spoke of being raped by two Shabab fighters at a displaced-persons camp in October. She said the men did not bother saying much when they entered her hut. They just pointed their guns at her chest and uttered two words: stay silent.

Happy Holidays!

2011-12-23T12:23:00.000-08:00

In lieu of writing a blog entry this week, I simply want to wish everybody a happy holiday season, whichever holidays do or do not apply to you. I hope the next several days are safe and happy for everybody!

Where's the outrage over 'macho' Legos?

2011-12-22T16:16:00.000-08:00

I thought this was an interesting perspective, which reminds me of a conversation I had with someone at our Pay Negotiation seminar. She is a native of Germany and said she was fascinated how in America items sold for girls and boys are so gender specific, particularly with colors. For girls, everything is pink or purple, for boys everything is blue or green. Kids' rooms are painted specific colors, their clothing are specific colors to identify their gender/sex. She mentioned in Germany, they don't have anything like this. After our conversation, when shopping for a friend's child, I noticed how pervasive this really is. Why do certain genders need to identify with certain colors or objects? I think I need to ponder it a bit more. What do you think?

Regardless, below is an interesting read. I do have to say, I find the narrow variety of Lego sets sold in stores frustrating.

Where's the outrage over 'macho' Legos?
by Kelly Byrom
Thursday, December 22, 2011

Apparently, some people are up in arms -- little plastic arms -- about Legos. The company announced a new line of toys designed for girls called "Friends." Yes, they're pink, but some people are more upset about the backstory attached to the main characters. Each girlfriend includes a storyline about her personality and preferences. One likes animals, another is the "social girl." And yes, some of the "friends" are defined by gender roles that can be stereotypical, like beautician and singer.

As a woman and a mother of a daughter, I should be enraged, holding up signs and burning my bra in protest that Lego assumes my daughter must have pink toys, correct? How dare they assume my daughter has to limit her options to being "social' or liking animals?

But I'm also a huge fan of Lego, and grew up with the toys. I still have my treasured collection from "back in the day," including the pirate ship, the airport, the raceway, space station, the electric train ... it goes on. I am a girl, and no way would I have wanted pink or "girly" Legos when I was a kid.

But here's the thing: My five-year-old son would absolutely LOVE these. He adores all things pink, glittery and girly. What has me steamed about this story is what it says about gender roles for boys.

Are current Legos products gender-neutral? Heck NO! It's all guy ... from "Star Wars" and "Cars" to Ninjas. Even the neutral-sounding "City" line is mostly full of cars, fire engines and planes. Most of the 'mini-fig' characters that come with playsets are male. Pure macho stuff, hardly gender neutral.

So where's the outrage that our boys are pressured by overly-masculine stereotypes through building bricks?

My daughter can dress up as a ferocious dragon for Halloween and no one bats an eye. But put my boy in a Minnie Mouse costume and people start getting nervous. Not for one second did I worry about the looks we would get for my daughter this year, but you bet I was ready to challenge anyone who questioned my son. Girls have so many choices, and that's a great thing, but boys should get that same freedom.

And why are "boys toys" for everyone and "girls toys" just for girls?

We bought my son a fireman costume, one of the standard boy pretend-play outfits. He routinely pairs it with a tutu and declares himself a "fireman princess." He knows what he likes, and he's not finding it in the "boys toys" aisle.

The run-up to my son's birthday parties is always fun. His friend's parents ask what he'd like as a gift, and I list his favorite princess and fairy toys. THUD. One mom didn't hold back, saying "Well, I don't want to encourage that."

I'm not worried that he's getting mixed messages. Giving my son nothing but macho Legos while steering him clear of the "the pink aisle" boxes him into a stereotypical gender role every bit as much as a "pinked-down" version of any traditional boy toy.

When my daughter dresses up as a dragon, I don't worry she'll grow up confused about her status as human versus animal, and playing with pirate Legos won't turn my kid into Blackbeard.

So while I understand parents might not want their daughters too influenced by "girly" toys, I don't want those same "macho" limits imposed on my son. And as for the new Lego "Friends" sets, you don't have to buy them, but I will.

A Troubled Girl Then, a Proud Woman Today

2011-12-21T14:18:00.000-08:00

Interesting article about body image

A Troubled Girl Then, a Proud Woman Today

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/14/nyregion/from-self-hating-truant-to-young-woman-who-values-herself.html?_r=1

By MATHEW R. WARREN
Published: December 13, 2011

When Carmen Roman used to look in the mirror, she hated what she saw.

Though she was not overweight, in her eyes, she was fat. Desperate to be thinner, she exercised obsessively in her room, doing aerobics and situps. She stopped eating for long stretches of time.
“I didn’t like the way I looked,” Ms. Roman said. “I didn’t like anything about me.”

In her darkest moments, she would lock herself in the bathroom and use a straight razor to carve deep cuts into her arm, drawing blood and contemplating suicide.

“I just wanted to die; that’s what went through my mind when doing it,” she said, remembering the feeling of hopelessness that washed over her. “I thought everyone would be better off without me.”

Ms. Roman, 20, grew up in a housing project in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, the older daughter of working-class parents from the Dominican Republic. When she was 12, her parents divorced, and her father, an auto mechanic, distanced himself from the family, she said. Though she was never particularly close to him, she said, her father’s absence during her early adolescence created a void that decimated her self-esteem.

“He wasn’t really into my life,” said Ms. Roman, a petite brunette with piercing brown eyes. “He was just a figure in the house, but having him there is different than not having him there.” She added, “Especially as a female, when you don’t have a strong male figure, you tumble a lot.”
Ms. Roman started skipping school, failing classes and sneaking around with boyfriends despite her mother’s strict rules against dating. “You always want to be wanted,” Ms. Roman said. “I was so negative within myself.”

One day, a teacher noticed the cuts on her arm. Concerned she was being abused, the teacher alerted a guidance counselor, who contacted Ms. Roman’s mother.

“She was acting out, but I had no idea,” said her mother, Maria Roman, her eyes filling with tears as she recalled the shock of discovering her daughter’s physical wounds. “I was thinking: what did I do wrong?”

At the recommendation of a friend, Maria Roman sought counseling for her daughter at Catholic Big Sisters and Big Brothers, an affiliate of Catholic Charities Archdiocese of New York, one of the seven agencies supported by The New York Times Neediest Cases Fund. There, Ms. Roman received one-on-one sessions with a social worker, and family therapy.

“She helped me deal with my dad issues and the divorce,” Ms. Roman said. “She helped me and my mom have a better relationship. Before, we didn’t communicate at all.”

Through the counseling and the support of her family, Ms. Roman got to the root of her self-esteem issues and changed the way she saw herself. By her sophomore year at Queens Vocational and Technical High School, she had stopped being truant and had begun to excel. She made the honor roll for three consecutive years and received awards for perfect attendance.
“I’ve seen a lot of friends drop out, get pregnant,” she said. “I didn’t want to be like that.”
Ms. Roman enrolled in the Catholic Big Sisters and Big Brothers’ college preparatory program and set her sights on the next big step in her life. Advised by a counselor, she applied to Pennsylvania State University and was accepted.

“When she graduates, that’s going to be my prize,” said Maria Roman, a factory worker at a packaging plant, looking proudly at her daughter.

Scholarships and grants cover about half of Ms. Roman’s $28,000 a year tuition. For her other expenses, including all of her room and board, she has had to take out loans. This year, to help Ms. Roman with the cost of books, Catholic Charities drew $425 from the Neediest Cases Fund.
Ms. Roman, the first person in her family to graduate high school, is now a sophomore, but she said a sense of self-worth has been her greatest accomplishment so far.

She plans to major in psychology; she said she wanted to help others struggling emotionally.
“You have to have the courage to look yourself in the mirror and say, I’m going down the wrong road,” Ms. Roman said. “You have to be willing to let yourself open up and talk to someone. Don’t give up; there’s always someone out there who can help you.”

Today, when Ms. Roman looks in the mirror, she likes what she sees.

“I definitely see a different person,” she said. “I can tell I’ve grown. Now, I feel worthy.”

Last Minute Shopping Hints!!

2011-12-20T06:53:00.000-08:00

With only 5 days until the big day, crunch time has arrived! As we all are scurrying to get those final gifts, the below article highlights a few practical tips & personal lessons that remind us that the real meaning of Christmas isn't based on the amount of money we spend!

How I Blew $1,000 and Ruined Christmas: 3 Lessons on Giving Gifts

Justine Rivero, Contributor
Forbes Women

It cost me $1,000 to figure out the meaning of Christmas. With less than a week before the big day and crunch time closing in on panicked shoppers, take a few of the lessons I learned on the art of giving.

My first job out of college, I spent nearly $1,000 on Christmas presents for my boyfriend. It was a financially hopeless gesture that went straight to my credit card, but what can I say, I’m a hopeless holiday romantic. However, when I didn’t find a similarly priced Golden Retriever puppy under the tree, I sulked for weeks over the disappointment and stressed for months over the debt.

Somewhere between being a bright-eyed tyke showered with presents from Dad and Mom and growing up and affording gifts ourselves, what happened to our approach to giving?

Returning, re-gifting and reselling unwanted gifts is less of a holiday faux pas these days. In fact, an American Express survey found that 79% of consumers deem re-gifting socially acceptable during the holidays. After all, shouldn’t we give and get what we really want for Christmas?

In our last few days before Christmas, how can we think about gifts meaningfully? Here are three lessons, learned $1,000 in debt later, to take with you on your last-minute shopping spree.

1) More expensive doesn’t mean better. The year I spent a grand on Christmas presents, the gift my boyfriend talked about the most wasn’t the Lakers tickets or designer watch I got him. I saw the childlike wonder on his bearded face the night I took him to an outdoor park for a public screening of his favorite Will Ferrell flick, complete with hot chocolate and popcorn. While I thought Kobe or Dolce & Gabbana would steal his heart, I should’ve realized that all it took to make him happy was food and Ferrell. In this last week of rushed Christmas shopping, it’s easy to overspend on gifts we didn’t think through (hello, re-gift closet) or charge over-budget purchases on credit (hello, debt). But spending a significant amount of money can’t compensate for spending a significant amount of time thinking through a truly great present.

2) Give whimsy, not practicality. When the Hummer H2 debuted its monstrous frame, my Dad covetously pointed out every single one on the road, especially the obnoxious yellow ones. For Christmas that year, my brothers and I got him a sunshine-colored Hummer H2– the remote control car version. By sunset Christmas Day, Dad had crashed into the neighbor’s mailbox, ran over Mom’s rose garden, and repeatedly mentioned how smart his children were to not impose the real gas guzzler on him. Sure, Aunt Sue was planning on getting a new crock pot anyway and your brother is in desperate need of new winter boots. But the memorable gifts are the ones that your loved ones want but won’t necessarily buy for themselves. In what small way can your humble Christmas present make a wish come true?

3) Take yourself out of the Christmas equation. Admit it: when you give something, you’re expecting an equally great thing in return. When I expected an expensive puppy in return for the basketball tickets and designer duds I gave, I turned gift-giving into a practice of finding “stuff” of equal thoughtfulness, price and value. Plain and simple, it was selfish, and it turned the magic of gift giving into a financial transaction. As children, our parents showered us with Christmas presents even though all we had to give in return was a glitter-covered macaroni ornament. How can we learn to place generosity over reciprocity? If you knew you weren’t getting anything in return, would that change what kind of present you’d give a loved one?

Not every present we will give or receive this Christmas will be perfect. There’s the inevitable reindeer-shaped bottle opener we’ll shelve ‘til next Christmas, the gift basket we’ll bring to work for co-workers to scavenge, and pricey boots in the wrong size that will end up on eBay.

While we can’t control what we’ll get for Christmas, we can decide how we will give.

In consideration of financially-strapped loved ones, maybe next year you can plan a Secret Santa so they won’t have to buy gifts for 20 family members. Or skip physical gifts entirely, and make a donation to a charity in your loved one’s name through sites like Just Give and CharityChoice Gift Cards. Another do-good alternative is Kiva, which allows you to fund a microloan on behalf of your loved one for impoverished entrepreneurs across the globe.

So what happened to that $1,000 Christmas debt? I paid it off by the following Christmas, perked up my credit score, and learned financial responsibility along the way. While it was a great learning moment, that wasn’t what made Christmas so memorable that year.

That Christmas, my apartment was too small for a Christmas tree. My childhood Christmases were always filled with the fragrance of Douglas Firs, fresh from the Santa Cruz Mountains, so a wave of homesickness hit me hard. One night, I walked into my boyfriend’s apartment to find his living room wall covered in rainbow Christmas lights, strung up in the shape of a Christmas tree. A homemade feast of my favorites awaited me: dill and feta-stuffed salmon, mushroom risotto, herb focaccia bread, goat cheese studded with blueberries, and mango sherbet for dessert. It didn’t have a price tag, but it was worth far more than any $1,000 gift I could give.

Learning to truly appreciate the person behind the gift—that’s what Christmas means to me now.

Rape: The Cool Thing To Do

2011-12-18T19:21:00.000-08:00

Most men fear getting laughed at or humiliated by a romantic prospect while most women fear

rape and death.

Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals that Protect Us from Violence

Rape.

The world alone just looks miserable and terrible. Every woman is born to fear rape; a fear that starts at inception and lasts until death. Unfortunately rape has been used as a weapon against women (and against their male family members at times) for as long as men and women have co-existed.

Although the human specied had made great strides toward attempting to eliminate this heinous and unnecessary crime throughout many countries across the world, rape is still prominent in today's society. 1 in 4 women in the United States will be sexually assaulted by the age of 25. That means, out of my 3 best friends and myself that one of us is a victim of a sex crime. Unfortunately, this is accurate. That's how close rape can hit home.

Now, with all of this in mind, take a look at this article in Huffington Post from December 14, 2011 which talks about a fraternity at the University of Vermont (UVM) distributing a survey to its brothers asking who they'd like to rape. Yes, you read that right.

Who they would like to rape.

Disturbing, huh? To think that in 2011, boys born in 1989 & LATER are finding humor and pleasure in raping their female peers. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I don't think humanity has much hope if we can't each respect one another's bodies.

Be an advocate.

Don't make light of rape.

Don't let others either.

Unmanly?

2011-12-16T09:57:00.000-08:00

Now that my school semester is over, I suddenly have lots of time to sit around during the day and watch ESPN to my heart’s content. Not much makes me more content than that. However, once SportsCenter goes to commercial, I continually find myself going right back into feminist mode (not to be confused with Depeche Mode).

From an ad where football players distance themselves from one of their teammates who knows a great deal about jewelry, to an ad where MMA fighter Randy Couture tries to shame the viewer into buying a Total Gym or whatever it is by calling them “princess,” sexism and gender role stereotypes run rampant through these commercial spots. It does make sense, though. The world of sports is typically a masculine and often-sexist enterprise, so advertisers know exactly what they’re doing by pandering to the men who are watching. Every time I watch, however, I can’t help but get more and more perturbed at the prospect of men getting scared into general male stereotypes (which, by the way, don’t think particularly highly of women).

As with a couple of my previous blog entries, my general theme here isn’t so much that these evil ad agencies and corporations need to be stopped, nor do I think that my ranting will enlighten these people and compel them to run completely gender-neutral ads on a usually hyper-masculine television network. Rather, my intended audience is the consumer. It’s okay to watch these commercials and laugh at them; heck, I think some of them are hilarious despite their obvious biases. Just keep in mind that you don’t have to help the advertisers out by conforming to these stereotypes for fear of shame or embarrassment. You are your own person, and you don’t have to subscribe to an agenda that anybody else attempts to provide for you, only the one you provide for yourself.

New Year's Resolution: Sit at the Table

2011-12-14T16:53:00.000-08:00

Sheryl Sandberg on Why We Have Too Few Women Leaders

Watch Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg's TEDTalk by clicking here. Below is a companion essay, which can be read before or after watching the video. I highly recommend doing both. Got me thinking, what can I do today to help the women of tomorrow? CT NOW is working hard to do just that, hope you will join us!

When Pat Mitchell invited me to speak at TEDWomen, everyone assumed I would talk about social media. I assumed so too. But as I started pulling together my thoughts, I landed on another topic: "Why We Have Too Few Women Leaders." Because for all the ceilings that have been shattered, we still have a real problem.

Women became 50 percent of the college graduates in the United States in 1981. Since then, we have slowly and steadily made progress, earning increasingly more of the college degrees, taking more of the entry-level jobs, going into previously male-dominated fields, moving up each step of the ladder. But there is one big exception to this improvement -- the top jobs. Thirty years later, we have not come close to holding our proportional share of positions of power in any industry.

More alarmingly, the numbers at the top are no longer improving. In the 2008 election, women lost seats in Congress for the first time in three decades. Across the corporate sector, women have held 15 to 16 percent of the C-level jobs and Board seats since 2002. Globally, only nine of 190 countries are led by women. So even as people worry about boys falling behind girls in education and write articles with headlines like "The End of Men," we have to acknowledge that men still run the world. Our revolution has stalled.

Women still face many external and institutional barriers, but I wanted to use my time on the TED stage to focus on what we can do as individuals to help change these percentages. So I offered three messages to women who want to stay in the workforce: (1) Sit at the table -- have the confidence to reach for opportunities; (2) Make your partner a real partner -- share responsibilities at home so you and your partner can both pursue careers; and (3) Don't leave before you leave -- challenge yourself at work so that when you have a decision to make, there are compelling reasons to stay or come back.

I also acknowledged the difficulty between choosing time at home and at work. We need to respect and support all choices just as we need to emphasize the importance that they be made thoughtfully. Right before I went on stage, I asked Pat if I should publicly admit that my preschool daughter was clinging to my leg the day I left to give this talk. "Absolutely tell that story," said Pat. "Other women go through this and you have to be out there and sharing this."

Thanks to the power and reach of the TED conference, the response to the talk has been truly encouraging. Women forwarded the link to their colleagues, friends, roommates and daughters. I received emails from women of all ages, sharing stories of their fears and their triumphs. Last week, I received one from Sabeen Virani, a consultant for a Dubai-based strategy consulting firm, who was working in Saudi Arabia where she was the only woman in an office of 300 employees. My talk includes a story about a male executive who did not know where the women's restroom was in his own office. The issue for Sabeen, she wrote, was not that no one knew where the women's restroom was, but that it did not exist at all. Inspired by the talk, she worked hard to earn the respect of her client and gained the courage to ask for her own bathroom. She sent me a photo of her smiling in front of a door with a printed paper sign that reads simply and powerfully, "Toilets for women only."

The Huffington Post and TED’s decision to repost the talk will, I hope, continue to spark discussions and connect women across the globe. And perhaps women who shared the video with other women the first time around will now forward it to male colleagues, friends, partners and sons. They are half the key to unlock a more equal future.

Since Christmas decorations went up before Thanksgiving, early December seems like a good time to start making New Year’s resolutions. It would be great if this year, men resolved to be real partners and women resolved to sit at the table. To achieve a truly equal world, there is a lot more for all of us to do.

Long before Sheryl Sandberg left Google to join Facebook as its Chief Operating Officer in 2008, she was a fan. Today she manages Facebook's sales, marketing, business development, human resources, public policy and communications. It's a massive job, but one well suited to Sandberg, who not only built and managed Google's successful online sales and operations program but also served as an economist for the World Bank and Chief of Staff at the US Treasury Department.

Sandberg's experience navigating the complex and socially sensitive world of international economics has proven useful as she and Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg work to strike a balance between helping Facebook users control privacy while finding ways to monetize its most valuable asset: data.

It Happened One Christmas

2011-12-14T09:11:00.000-08:00

A sad but hopeful Christmas story.

Huffington Post
Posted: 12/13/11 05:11 PM ET
By Beth Broderick
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/beth-broderick/it-happened-one-christmas_b_1146891.html

It was five days before Christmas. I had recently relocated to Los Angeles from New York and was having trouble engaging the Holiday spirit. There was no Rockefeller Center with it's giant tree to marvel at. No fifth avenue crush of shoppers and revelers to knock up against. No bourbon on the rocks at the Oak Room watching the horse drawn carriages glide into Central Park. LA was trying. There were some lights on Wilshire Boulevard and Santa Claus had been dutifully installed in all of the shopping malls. There were Salvation Army elves ringing bells outside of Kmart and most folks had dutifully strung lights on their houses and inflated rubber reindeer for their lawns, but it just did not feel like Christmas. I had set about grumbling in the tradition of so many who had made the trek across the country before me armed with Woody Allen quotes and Big Apple big headedness.

In spite of this and in spite of temperatures that threatened to give old Saint Nick a heatstroke, I agreed to venture forth into the the shopping fray with my friend Lorraine and we headed to a nearby Music Plus store to pick up some Holiday tunes for her family. The store was located on a fairly crowded and decidedly unglamorous stretch of Fairfax Avenue. This was over 20 years ago, long before the glittering Grove with it's valet parking and concierge service, when there was still such a thing as a Music Plus store. We were out of the car and headed in to the store when something caught our eye. There was a van parked in the farthest space of the lot and something seemed off about it. It had an aura of abandonment and yet there was clearly movement inside. We watched for several minutes to see if the occupants would emerge.
It was one of those moments -- of which I have had far too many -- when instinct overcomes caution. Something was just not right in that van. We approached the old VW and tapped on the window. The woman in the driver's seat hesitated before slowly cranking the handle, her eyes haunted and wide with fear. There were three young children in the van as well, all bunched up together in the back seat. The woman had a large bruise on the left side of her face. She did not have to explain... it was clear that she had been abused and was on the run. This parking lot her only refuge. We asked if she had enough fuel to drive a few blocks to Lorraine's home and she nodded yes. We pulled out of the lot slowly hoping that she would have the courage to follow and breathed a sigh of relief when she pulled up behind us.

Once home Lorraine set about feeding the kids and I gathered laundry so that we could give them clean clothes to wear. The woman had a severe limp, but said it was nothing and set about bathing them. Lorraine and I pondered our next move. I began to make calls to City services and shelters. The news was not good. To this day there are almost no facilities in Los Angeles that can house a woman with her children. Many families in this situation are split up with the mother housed in one place and the children in another. This mother was willing to reside in a Music Plus parking lot in order to be with her kids. She would never agree to that.

After placing at least a dozen calls I was beginning to worry that the family would be consigned to the the van for the foreseeable future. I was running out of options when I placed a call to the Good Shepherd Center and Sister Joan Mary answered, her warm voice accented with an irish lilt. "Oh no," she said "we are over capacity and so is everyone else. There is just no place to put them... a terrible shame so many with no where to go." I begged, I cajoled, I pleaded with Sister Joan to help me place them. "I'm yours for life," I said. "I will volunteer raise money anything you need... just please do what you can!" "All right," she said with a heavy sigh. "I'll see what I can do."

The woman refused the medical attention she clearly needed, but accepted our offering of blankets and flashlights and the use of Lorraine's driveway. The family was invited to eat and bathe in the house, but there was just no place to bed them all. Two days passed. I was still making calls and working every angle to no avail. Tomorrow would be Christmas eve and I had to abandon the effort while my friends and I scrambled to find gifts for the kids. Around nine PM we settled the family in their van and poured a big glass of wine preparing to wrap gifts into the night, when the phone rang and Sister Joan's unmistakable Irish accent came over the line. "I've got them a place," she said. "They can come tomorrow to this address. We will give them a good Christmas." "God bless you, Sister," I said through tears, "I will not forget my promise." "Oh, I'll count on that," she said and that was good night.

The nuns at the Good Shepherd homes have rescued countless women and their children over the years. I kept my word and my friends and family provide Christmas gifts for their families every year. I used to give Sister Joan candy but she begged me to stop. "I 'll be fat as a house if you keep this up," she'd say with a ready smile. She retired a few years back, but the work goes on.

These have been tough times for the shelter and the nuns had to close one of their facilities due to lack of funds. Ever resourceful they doubled up their living quarters and turned their office space into housing, so that they would not have to turn desperate families away. These women have experienced abuses that most of us cannot contemplate. I am so grateful to Good Shepherd for answering their need and for taking my call on that dark night so long ago. Amidst the palm trees and under the blazing California sun, the spirit of Christmas shines brightly in their hearts all year round and has opened mine forever.

Toy Drive This Friday at Westfarms!

2011-12-13T06:04:00.000-08:00

The holiday season is upon us and in the spirit of giving I had to spread the word about this wonderful toy drive!

It’s almost time for the 2011 We Are The Children Toy Drive! This year’s event is taking place on Friday December 16th from 9am to 6pm, and we need YOUR HELP to raise unwrapped toys for the We Are The Children Christmas Party! See how YOU can help… keep reading!

All your favorite 965 TIC personalities, including Gary Craig, Damon Scott and Gina J will take turns broadcasting from Lord & Taylor at the West Farms mall, during the all-day toy drive! Where do YOU come in?

We need all our friends and fans to pick up an unwrapped toy and drop it off at our 965 TIC broadcast booth in the Children’s Department at Lord and Taylor this Friday! We’ll be collecting toys all day from 9am to 6pm, and this is the perfect chance for you to make the Holidays a little brighter for some children in need.

So be sure to come by and visit us at Lord and Taylor at the West Farms mall this Friday, and purchase a toy to donate for We Are The Children!

Obama's Disappointing Decision

2011-12-09T11:50:00.001-08:00

I, along with many other feminists, was none too pleased with The Obama administration's shocking and disappointing decision regarding access to emergency contraception (EC) this past week. It is evident that this decision will affect public health in general.

As a man, it does not affect me directly, but the fact of the matter is that like I've said in previous blog entries, women's issues are everybody's issues. The potential rise of unplanned pregnancies and abortions are certainly two issues that affect the public as a whole. Additionally, as anti-rape advocate Salamishah Tillet articulates in the linked article, "barring easier access to EC doesn’t address the exploitative nature" of the high occurence of relationships involving "girls who hare [sic] having sex with older men." The aformentioned article, linked to here, points out the further serious implications of this decision, arguing that it disproportionately affects young women of color.

As Don McPherson might say, passing these issues off as just "women's issues" or "minority issues" invites those who aren't directly affected to push the issue aside and ignore it. The fact of the matter, is that exploitation, women's health, and de facto discrmination are real issues that all individuals, not just men or women, must deal with in the public sphere.

A Helpful Recipe for Busy Bakers

2011-12-08T08:35:00.000-08:00

As I'm still debating what cookies I am going to make this holiday season, Michelle Noehren, former CT NOW president, founder of the CT Working Moms blog and awesome friend, gave me the link to the below blog entry.

It cracked me up and offered a recipe that may help me in my quest to find time to keep up one of my favorite traditions while trying to balance meetings and events. While I may not be a mom, I am a working single woman who has a pretty hectic schedule. For me, baking is a stress release and shouldn't be a stress inducer. And I'm a strong believer and celebrator of a crafty holiday!

I also recommend following the link to the blog itself to see the YouTube clip of one of the best movie duets ever-- Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye performing "Sisters" in the movie White Christmas. Or better yet, head to the Criterion movie theater in New Haven this weekend to watch it on the big screen for $5. Friday @ 11:30 pm, Saturday: 11:30 am and pm, Sunday: 11:30 am.

Enjoy!!

Christmas Cookies for the Mom who did it all.
Nov 30
Posted by marie5k

I’ll be the first to admit it. I have no shame in admitting it, either. Pre-Jake I was a self-proclaimed mini Martha Stewart. I semi-regularly updated my crafting blog, I kept a well-decorated house for every season, I baked, I knit, I sewed, I quilted, and man, I even sewed myself a dress! I figured this would change just a little bit once I had Jake, but no way would I ever begin to believe I, self-proclaimed Mini Martha, would give up baking, sewing handbags for friends, and quilting. Never! I’d find the time! I’d break out my sewing machine when baby was fast asleep in his crib, pluggie in mouth and woobie in hand.

And, like so many others before me, I had to admit defeat. And it was not easy, let me tell you. I still keep a well-decorated home (with the help of Nonna, who, while I was decorating kept Jake away from table cloths, holiday candy dishes, and the very pricey German ornament tree), I find time to sew, albeit not quite as frequently as before (on my days off while Jake is having fun with Poppy in the living room), and I do bake. I may not have had the time (or energy) to bake 3 pies for Thanksgiving this year, but 1 pumpkin pie and 1 pretty huge apple crisp sufficed.

So after this first major holiday with a baby, I began to get a little nervous about Christmas. I’ve always enjoyed baking cookies. As a rent-poor college graduate living in Boston, for years I gave out homemade fudge and cookies as Christmas gifts. Then, as a flat broke law student, I gave out tins of cookies and knit scarves for friends. To me, I get the biggest joy out of putting White Christmas in the DVD player and singing along with Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye to “Sisters” while i cut out gingerbread men and roll up rugelach. A lot of people might see this as a chore, but baking Christmas cookies is just one of the many things I love about Christmas.

Fast forward to now now. Now I have dinner time, bath time, and bed time. Translation= no time for cookie time. But wait! Yes, working mom, you can have your cookies, and eat them too! I’ve found a pretty good workaround for making Christmas cookies this year, thanks to my homegirl, Martha.

Last year while sitting at the doctor’s office waiting for the results of my 1 hour glucose test (*shudder* as repressed memory returns to haunt me), I flipped through Martha Stewart’s December issue of Living, and came across this amazing section on how to take one basic cookie dough recipe and using the simple variations listed in the directions, make batches of assorted icebox cookies. Simply? All you do is mix the cookie dough, throw in a few mix-ins like chopped nuts, chocolate chips, or dried fruit, roll the dough into logs, refrigerate, and slice and bake. Yep, slice and bake. The best part is that you do not have to devote an entire evening to cookie baking (although, you are more than welcome!) On night one, you mix the dough, shape it into a log, and put it in the fridge until you are ready to bake it the next night. I have even frozen the dough- it keeps for up to one month in the freezer. In fact, i have 4 rolled cookie logs waiting to be sliced and baked for Christmas. I figured with Christmas and parties, and family get togethers right around the corner, might as well get started with the cookie dough before the fun really begins…

Slice and bake icebox cookies are some of the easiest cookies to make, and as you can see from Martha’s picture, you end up with batches of different cookies- chocolate, nuts, dried cranberries and a teaspoon of lemon or orange zest, and you’ve got yourself gourmet slice and bake cookies to please pretty much anyone. You can find Martha’s recipe here:

http://www.marthastewart.com/296293/shaped-icebox-cookies

My favorite combinations are:

•Citrus dough mixed with chopped pistachios and dried cranberries
•Chocolate dough mixed with chopped white chocolate and chopped almonds
•Basic vanilla dough mixed with chopped pecans and chopped milk chocolate

So yes, working mom, you can have your cookies and eat them, too! So head on over to Martha’s website and pick out your favorite cookie combos to make your holiday a little home-made this year, and don’t forget the White Christmas DVD…

Living Below the Line: Economic Security and America's Families

2011-12-07T13:11:00.000-08:00

http://www.wowonline.org/livingbelowtheline.asp

Living Below the Line: Economic Security and America's Families

As 25 million Americans and their families continue to struggle to find jobs or full-time work and many newly created jobs are in low-wage industries, a new report on family economic security shows that 45 percent of Americans are unable to cover their basic expenses. Based on a comprehensive analysis of economic and demographic data by Wider Opportunities for Women (WOW), the new report finds many families are living without economic security even when household breadwinners are working. The findings suggest that federal budget cuts to programs like job training, career and technical education, unemployment insurance, and child care programs could compound the crisis facing American families. Click here to read WOW's full report, Living Below the Line: Economic Security and America's Families and to view an infographic on key findings.

What Are You Doing to Protect Your Birth Control Costs?

2011-12-06T10:02:00.000-08:00

President, Congress Must Stand Strong Against Efforts to Eliminate Birth Control Coverage

Huffington Post
Rep Gwen Moore
U.S Representative for Wisconsin's 4th Congressional District

The passage of the Affordable Care Act (ACA) was a monumental victory for all Americans. In particular, the passage of this bill led to one of the most important advances for women's health in decades: a new regulation requiring insurance coverage for birth control with no co-pays. This was a huge victory for both women and men everywhere. But recently, a number of anti-women health groups and their allies in Congress launched a massive campaign to take this vital coverage away from women. Republican leaders and many others are pressuring the Obama Administration to eliminate this coverage for millions of people who work at religiously-affiliated hospitals, universities, and other organizations.

Let's be clear -- when we passed the health reform law, it was our goal to expand coverage to all people in need of quality, affordable care -- not limit coverage to only certain categories of people. It is essential that the women's preventive coverage benefit, including contraception, be available to all women, regardless of what health plan they have or where they work -- as Congress intended. Providing access to birth control just makes good sense. The venerable, nonpartisan Institute of Medicine recommended that birth control be included as a women's preventive service because it is fundamental to improving women's health and the health of their families.

Covering contraception is the single most important step our country can take toward reducing unintended pregnancies. Additionally, improved access to birth control is directly linked to declines in maternal and infant mortality rates, which are currently near those of third world countries in my home state of Wisconsin, and a true epidemic within the City of Milwaukee.

A large majority of the American people are on our side, including 72 percent of Republican women voters who support birth control coverage. That is why we cannot let these groups who are seeking to dismantle this crucial coverage for women succeed. Both Congress and the Obama Administration must stand strong against this misguided campaign and stand up for the rights of women across this country.

Here's My Secret, Victoria

2011-12-02T11:49:00.000-08:00

(photo credit: NY Daily News)

This past week, the second-biggest television event of the year for many American men took place: #1 is the Super Bowl, which is also my #1 (my #2 is the World Series, but that’s a different story). The event I’m talking about is none other than the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.

Men all over the country and the world (and women, let’s not be judgmental) await this night with extreme levels excitement and fervor. Who can blame them? Gorgeous models waltzing around in the latest version of fancy underpants certainly doesn’t sound like the worst TV show I could think of. It was just for these reasons that a few years ago at college my friends and I grabbed a bunch of beers and sat down to watch the show. But what I saw on the screen flipped a switch in my mind.

Sure, it was a wicked exciting show: great modern music, tons of celebrities, lots of cool light shows, even the sappy segment where Heidi Klum sang a lovely duet with her husband, Seal. But with each walk down the runway by the Victoria’s Secret Angels, this spectacle turned more and more surreal. Soon enough, I became completely alienated from what I was seeing, and I quickly found that these models did absolutely nothing for me. I hesitated to voice this opinion to my friends, since I figured a couple of them would probably ask what was wrong with me. I didn’t dismiss their attractiveness, but something about it just didn’t feel real. These models, like other models, were stick thin, covered in gobs of makeup, and fairly buxom, and it all simply felt like a mirage.

Funny enough, after this year’s show, an acquaintance on Facebook noted that the most beautiful woman in the entire room was a pregnant Beyonce. The way I see it, what this woman meant was that Beyonce was the realest-looking one there; to me, being real is a woman’s most beautiful quality.

I don’t have a huge beef with the fashion show’s existence in and of itself, but I do have a beef with the Disneyland-esque world that it portrays. I’m not trying to change anything about the event by ranting about how I think it’s an artificial event. All I’m trying to do is implore the reader to keep the artificiality of such events in mind, don’t read too much into it, and take it for what it is: make-believe.

5 Things Every Black Woman Should Do on Dec. 1 (World AIDS Day)

2011-11-30T20:32:00.000-08:00

5 Things Every Black Woman Should Do on Dec. 1 (World AIDS Day)

Wednesday, November 30, 2011
By Kathleen Cross
from rollingout.com

Dec. 1 is World AIDS Day, a day on which all of us are asked to help raise awareness about HIV/AIDS, and to create a sense of urgency about preventing, treating and curing this deadly disease.

Unless you have been living in a bubble, you are probably already aware of the startling statistic that more than half of the 1.1 million people living with HIV/AIDS in the United States are black. That figure is especially alarming given the fact that African Americans constitute only 13 percent of our nation’s population.

Black men currently make up the majority of new HIV infections, and it is estimated that 1 in every 16 black men in America will contract this virus in his lifetime. If you are a black woman between the ages of 25 and 34, you are more likely to die of HIV/AIDS than any other cause, and the CDC projects that 1 in 32 black women will test positive for HIV in her lifetime.

If you are under the false assumption that the HIV virus is something only “certain kinds of women” should worry about, you are misinformed, and could be placing yourself in danger every time you have unprotected sex — even if the person you are having sex with tells you he is sure he is not infected.

The fact is, a heterosexual black woman is six times more likely to contract the HIV virus from unprotected sex with a man, than a black woman who contracts the disease using IV drugs.

HIV/AIDS is not a virus that seeks out promiscuous women who use dangerous drugs. The virus does not care about your personal life, how often you attend church, mosque or temple, or whether you are drug-free. The reality is, this deadly virus can infect a monogamous churchgoing, non-drug using woman if she has unprotected sex just once with an infected partner — even if that person is her only sex partner, her fiancé or her husband.

In addition to wearing a red ribbon to commemorate the day, if you are a black woman, (or if you know and love a black woman and care enough to share this with her) here are five important things to do on Dec. 1:

1. Get Tested for the HIV Virus

Maybe you are one of those people who think you really don’t want to know your HIV status. If you are thinking you’d rather stay ignorant, consider this:

When you receive the HIV test result you will either:

1) Celebrate the fact that you don’t have the virus, and commit to keeping it that way.

2) Acknowledge that you are one of the lucky ones who discovered the virus before it began wreaking havoc on your health. There are millions of people around the world currently using medication to keep AIDS at bay. An HIV positive test result is not a death sentence — it is a life sentence. The sooner you know the truth, the sooner you can start the fight to stay healthier longer.

At www.HIVtest.org you can input your zip code and find multiple testing sites near you.

2. Commit to Condoms

Unless you can be 100 percent certain that the man you are having sex with has tested negative for the HIV virus (and has never subsequently had unprotected sex with even one other person, or used IV drugs), you should be using a condom every time you have sex.

This is a touchy subject for women in relationships that they believe to be monogamous, but please know that there are plenty of dead black women who didn’t want to offend their partner by insisting he wear a condom.

Remember that most black women with HIV/AIDS contracted it from heterosexual sex with an infected black man. The virus cannot read a marriage license, and it does not care if you are faithful to your boyfriend. A condom is not an insult to your sex partner — it is a symbol that you love yourself enough to stay HIV-free.

3. Learn the True Story of a Black Woman with HIV/AIDS

If you know a black woman who has contracted the virus, learn her story, and share it with others.

HIV/AIDS that touches a friend or loved one drives home the reality that the virus is a living organism that humans “give” to and “receive” from one another.

If you don’t know of a black woman with HIV/AIDS, search the Internet and learn someone’s story. Her story could save your life.

Here are a few amazing stories you will be glad you viewed:

http://whatgives365.wordpress.com/2010/03/30/my-name-is-wanda-and-i-have-aids/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zI1_nCBdGt0&feature=player_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpfYlM7AUmE&feature=related

4. Discuss HIV/AIDS with at least One Black Woman Age 24 or Younger

Share the sobering statistics about HIV/AIDS with a young woman who may not fully understand the risks, and let her know she is entering an age group of black women at the highest risk for dying of AIDS.

Help her understand that she could literally be placing herself in mortal danger if she is having sex without a condom with a man she is not 100 percent sure is virus-free.

5. Discuss HIV/AIDS with at least One 25- to 34-Year-Old Black Woman

Share the sobering statistics about HIV/AIDS with a woman aged 25 to 34 who may not fully understand the risks, and let her know she belongs to a group of black women at the highest risk for dying of AIDS.

Help her understand that she could literally be placing herself in mortal danger if she is having sex without a condom with a man she is not 100 percent sure is virus-free.

-----------------------------------------
In addition, here are some websites to help you learn more.

Women's Health: http://www.womenshealth.gov/hiv-aids/
General Information: http://www.aidsinfo.nih.gov/
More General Information: http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/

Mangagement Rings

2011-11-30T09:47:00.000-08:00

I thought this was an interesting article. Would it catch on, not sure?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mary-schwager/mangagement-rings_b_987953.html

Mangagement Rings
Posted: 11/30/11 02:57 AM ET
by Mary Schwager

When you see a man wearing a ring on his left hand, most would assume he's married, but get this: He may not have hit the altar yet -- the ring you see may be a mangagement ring!
Yup, you read it correctly, "man-gagement ring." Nope, it's not a company ring he was given for his promotion to the management tier; it's a ring he was given by his significant other. It's actually an engagement ring for guys!

Whoa! What the heck? Is this some gimmick by the jewelry industry to get you to spend more? Is it some ploy by feminists to brand men with engagement rings, too? Is it something for insecure partners who weren't satisfied he changed his Facebook status to "engaged" and want to alert the entire world their man is in a relationship? Even as this author types this article, the spell check on the computer underlines "mangagement" as an alert, a red flag, it found a word it does not recognize!

Amada Gizzi, spokesperson for the Jewelry Information Center, says the concept is starting to take off in America! "Engagement rings for men are a new concept here in the United States. Men and women both wear engagement rings in a lot of countries around the world. For the United States it has never been our tradition. Therefore, it is a foreign concept to most people."
Mangagement rings are perfect for a woman who wants to turn the tables in a traditional heterosexual relationship and pop the question to her guy, and she's now got a ring to complete the proposal.

Jewelry industry insiders say they're starting to see a lot more female clients doing the proposing! (Of course, we want to point out here that at no time should her man assume that diamonds are an unimportant part of the deal.) Gizzi adds, "The idea that the man will also wear an engagement ring gives relationships a new sense of equality. It is a pre-commitment, commitment from both the man and the woman."

They're also perfect for same-sex unions and engagements. If a man proposes to another man, he can also have a mangagement ring ready to go.

If this concept sounds interesting to you, the good news is some of these rings are more affordable than wedding bands. Of course, you can go as expensive and elaborate as you want, but the prices usually range from a couple hundred dollars to well, of course, to the sky's the limit. Gizzi says the types of metals usually range from platinum and gold to stainless steel and tungsten. "Find one that fits his personality and style."

Then what do you do on the big day, standing at the altar, ready to exchange rings with a mangagement ring? Jewelers say it's up the couple. You can add on another ring to the initial mangagement ring, keep it, upgrade, it's all about your taste, style and budget.

A True Hero!

2011-11-29T06:20:00.000-08:00

Phyllis D. Zlotnick, 69, died Oct. 13. (Handout / November 23, 2011)

By ANNE M. HAMILTON, Special to The Courant The Hartford Courant

November 26, 2011

Phyllis Zlotnick fought effectively and tirelessly for the civil rights of people with disabilities. Her goal was to achieve equality for them in a society that often ignores them and their needs.

"She's at the top of the list of people whose vision and influence made tremendous changes for all people with disabilities — and for all people," said James McGaughey, director of the state Office of Protection and Advocacy. He said she has been the state's the most effective advocate for people with disabilities.

Phyllis, born Aug. 27, 1942, was one of three children born to Sidney and Marion Zlotnick. Her brother Seymour also had muscular dystrophy, an inherited disorder in which muscle tissue gets increasingly weaker. A sister had polio which left her lungs compromised. Her father was a grocer in Hartford. At first Phyllis wore leg braces, but when she fell down, she couldn't get up. She soon began using a wheelchair

Ignoring the conventional practice of institutionalizing children with disabilities, Sidney Zlotnick combed the country looking if not a cure for muscular dystrophy, at least for therapies which would help mitigate the increasingly crippling condition. Experts told him there was no cure, and that Newington Home for Crippled Children was the best place for treatment.

For periods of time — some short, some long — the parents would place Seymour and Phyllis at the Newington Home for Crippled Children, which, although a predecessor of Newington Children's Hospital, was a far different place at that time.

Phyllis experienced little tenderness or love at the hospital. She came to hate the staff and dread hospitals themselves. Her parents were allowed only one short visit a week, which they had to divide between their two children, who were kept separated.

When Phyllis celebrated a birthday at the home, she couldn't have any of the cake or presents because she had been punished and left in her crib, because of an altercation with another child. When new doctors arrived, they would bring Phyllis, undressed, onto the stage of the auditorium, to demonstrate the curvature of her spine.

After they realized that there was no cure or good treatment for muscular dystrophy, a progressive disease which usually ends in death in a patient's 20s, the Zlotnicks brought their children home. The Hartford school system had made no accommodation for teaching children like Phyllis and Seymour, but after their parents picketed the board of education, they allowed Phyllis to attend a special education class that had many students with many disparate needs.

"They were remarkably progressive parents," said Peg Dignoti, former executive director of the ARC of Connecticut and a close friend.

The family moved to Portland, where Phyllis would have been welcome at the high school — except that steps at the school made it inaccessible. Instead, she participated in classes via speaker phone, although never met her fellow students or engaged in activities with them. She graduated with honors in June 1960.

Zlotnick joined a sheltered workshop where she colored black and white photographs which no one ever bought. Her parents then brought her to Easter Seals Rehabilitation Center. When a receptionist job opened up, Zlotnick was hired.

In the '70s, there were tremendous hurdles for people who navigated the world in a wheel chair. She soon mastered the state building codes and would go out and look at construction projects and point out areas where it could be made more accessible — doorways widened, countertops or sills lowered, and ramps installed. She also began reviewing proposed legislation to see how it might impact people with disabilities.

"She could speak intelligently to the issues," said John Doyle, who hired her at Connecticut Easter Seals as a legislative liaison. Zlotnick had a specially equipped van in which she used to drive from her home in Hartford to Hebron, but after the drive became too taxing, she looked for work closer to home.

Zlotnick became an active volunteer with United Cerebral Palsy, and began to encourage the emerging practice of self-advocacy: people with disabilities speaking out for themselves. She lobbied for legislation that increased their mobility and independence, including curb cuts in the sidewalk and kneeling buses. She was a frequent presence at the Capitol, where her knowledge of the issues, calm demeanor and intelligence made her an effective lobbyist.

"She never said, 'It's just us. Persons with disabilities against the world,' " said McGaughey. "She said, 'It's my world too.'"

Sen. Lowell P. Weicker gave Zlotnick's name to President Ronald Reagan when the president was putting together the National Council on Disabilities, and one of the achievements of which Zlotnick was most proud was her input into the wide-ranging Americans with Disabilities Act, passed in 1990 over many objections. Friends said she considered her work on the Council drafting and urging adoption of the act her greatest achievement.

Zlotnick worked for a time as an aide to former House Speaker Ernest Abate and advised him on disability issues. When a bill concerning accessibility was scheduled for a hearing in a room in the state Capitol that was itself inaccessible, legislators were embarrassed and suggested rescheduling the meeting. Instead, Zlotnick suggested that they lift her in her extremely motorized wheel chair, into the room. It was a subtle but pointed lesson of the importance of accessibility.

"She made sure the press was present," said Ed Preneta, former program director at the United Cerebral Palsy Assn. Of Greater Hartford.. "It was a moment to be educated."

Zlotnick had an active life off the floor of the General Assembly. She loved boating and cruises, and went to Bermuda, eager to listen to the steel band into the wee hours. She spent hours at the computer and enjoyed watching webcams of cruises around the world. For many years, she smoked and did her own makeup and hair and could feed herself with a long fondue fork.

One of her happiest moments was on a small boat at Disney World where she was on the water, with the wind in her hair.

"This is the freest I've ever felt," she told a friend.

She was a master square dancer: the group was called the Square Wheelers.

As her illness progressed, her mobility decreased, and she no longer could transfer from chair to the wheel chair. She could not turn herself in bed or move anything but her right hand.

Eventually, she stopped driving her van, but her personal assistant continued to drive her. Zlotnick and others lobbied for a waiver in the Medicaid regulations that would allow people with disabilities to hire and train their own staff, and Vedia Ragin, whom she hired as her assistant, worked with her for nearly 15 years until her death.

When she was diagnosed with cancer a year ago, Zlotnick said she would never return to a hospital, and she did not treat it. She outlived all predictions — most "experts" said she would die in her 20s. Both her brother and sister have also died.

Zlotnick would not like to be called "courageous," said Stan Kozlowski, who also hasa disability and became the deputy director of the state office of protection and advocacy.

"We're just going about the business of life," he said. "Both for ourselves and for others, we open doors.".

Add a little PIF to your life...

2011-11-27T21:46:00.000-08:00

"I guess its hard for people who are so used to things

the way they are - even if they're bad - to change

'cause they kind of give up. And when they do,

everybody kind of loses."

{Pay It Forward, 2000}

Today while I was waitressing, I overheard another server telling a story about her recent cab ride in downtown Hartford. She explained how the driver purposefully took both she and her friend for a joy ride to rack up his cab fare. When they eventually arrived at the destination, the cab driver demanded nearly double than what it should've been. My co-worker described her battle of words with this cabbie, completely shocking and blowing the minds of all of the employees.

Although her story was unfortunate, I couldn't help but reflect on the polar opposite experience I recently had with a cab driver in Washington, D.C. in late October. I was there for a policy forum for my internship and was dressed up rather fancily (with high heels included). Needless to say, by the 12399873th time I had made a wrong turn, walked up a flight of stairs, or wobbled down another block, my feet were absolutely killing me. My friend and I decided to hail a cab for the remainder of the walk back to our hotel room, which wasn't far. When we arrived in front of the hotel, I remember feeling a flash a heat travel to me face at the speed of light when I noticed the fare. We owed $21 and we only had $11. I quickly nudged my friend who also had the same look of sheer horror and panic. I'll admit that thoughts of tucking and rolling out of the vehicle crossed my mind - I felt like a complete jerk. The cab driver must've noticed the anxiety on our faces because he turned around and calmly said, "You don't have the money, do you?". I simply shook my head and held out my $10 bill. He looked at it, smiled and took the bill. Then he said, "No worries, my dear. Just remember to pay it forward - either here or up there."

I got out of the cab in complete astonishment of what had just happened. Not only did it remind me to rent the movie, but it also made me really think about what it means to "pay it forward" in terms of today's society. If only everyone truly adopted the PIF methodology for life, the world would be a much safer & saner place.

After reminiscing about my encounter with the lovely Angel of Cabbies, I couldn't help but think that right now was a perfect time to truly begin implementing PIF into my daily life and encourage it in the lives of my loved ones. So here it is! This is me encouraging (and challenging) you to PIF. It's really not that hard.

~In the spirit of giving & thanks, PIF~

Reed v. Reed Advances Quality for Women, but Must Always be Defended

2011-11-26T05:49:00.000-08:00

Marcia D. Greenberger, Co-President National Women's Law Center
Posted: 11/23/11 03:00 PM ET Huffingtonpost.com

Forty years ago yesterday, for the first time in its history, the Supreme Court held that a law that discriminated against women violated the Constitution. In Reed v. Reed, a unanimous Court struck down an Idaho law requiring the automatic preference of a man over a woman when both applied to be the executor of an estate. The Court recognized that women had a constitutional right to equal protection of the law, turning from a long list of previous rulings that allowed women to be excluded from juries, or the legal profession, or even bartending, on the grounds that women needed to be protected from the rough-and-tumble of the workplace or the public square, or confined to the sphere of hearth and home.

The Court's ruling was spurred by the advocacy of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who authored Sally Reed's Supreme Court brief and whose efforts in that case and in a series of groundbreaking Supreme Court cases in the years that followed established constitutional protection against discrimination on the basis of sex. Forty years ago yesterday, the Supreme Court's decision also gave new constitutional underpinnings to the statutory protections against sex discrimination in employment and an impetus and strength to an array of new statutory protections against discrimination in education, credit, and housing, as well as employment, in the years that followed. That work continues. Most recently, there is a new protection against sex discrimination in federally-funded health care, as part of the Affordable Care Act, closing yet one more gap in legal protection against discrimination women are still fighting to secure.

But let there be no mistake about it, while cause for celebration, these gains are not fixed in stone. In the last few decades since the Reed decision, none of the constitutional cases protecting women against official sex discrimination were decided without dissent. Indeed, just last year Justice Scalia flatly stated, "Certainly the Constitution does not require discrimination on the basis of sex. The only issue is whether it prohibits it. It doesn't. Nobody ever thought that that's what it meant. Nobody ever voted for that." And last month, in an interview with Newsweek, Judge Bork, when asked whether he still believes that the Equal Protection Clause does not protect against sex discrimination, answered that he did, and felt justified in that belief because "women are a majority of the population now --a majority in university classrooms and a majority in all kinds of contexts. It seems to me silly to say, 'Gee, they're discriminated against and we need to do something about it.' They aren't discriminated against anymore."

The Court's most recent decision in a constitutional sex discrimination case proves that these protections cannot be taken for granted. This June, the Supreme Court split 4 - 4 in Flores-Villar v. United States, a case challenging a law that has different standards for an unmarried woman than an unmarried man to pass on her U.S. citizenship to a child. (Justice Kagan had worked on the case previously and so did not participate in the decision.) The tie decision had the effect of affirming the constitutionality of this blatantly discriminatory law and its unequal treatment of mothers and fathers.

While today those fighting sex discrimination have the law on our side, as the Flores-Villar case and the comments by Justice Scalia and Judge Bork remind us, important gains like those in Reed must always be defended and safeguarded. It is our job to make sure that we continue to move forward, building on the law's promise to stand behind the effort to continue to expand the possibilities for women and girls.

Speak Out, Brother!

2011-11-25T14:48:00.000-08:00

As it stands, I am currently the only male member of the CT NOW Board of Directors. Seeing this blog entry for the first time, you might be asking yourself a few questions.

(1) “How long has he been waiting to use this insanely clever blog entry title?”

(Answer: About a month.)

(2) “Did he join the board just to hang out with women all day?”

(Answer: No…but it doesn’t hurt.)

But the most important question:

(3) “What do men have to do with feminism?”

(Answer: Everything.)

As a male feminist, one of my inspirations is Don McPherson. Don is a former quarterback for Syracuse University, played in the NFL from 1988 to 1990, and currently is an analyst for Big East football coverage on SNY. Don is also an active feminist, speaking all over the country about issues like gender stereotypes and violence against women.

It’s one thing for women to speak out about women’s issues; more good work than we can imagine has been accomplished by women. But when “manly men” such as Don McPherson become active, it gives feminism a different perspective altogether. The fact of the matter is, women’s issues are everybody’s issues, and as men, we do women a disservice by remaining silent. These issues will persist as issues as long as men keep passing them off as “women’s issues.”

In the coming weeks, I’ll talk about a number of ways that women’s issues are also men’s issues. For now, I’ll leave you with a video clip of Don McPherson explaining just why this is the case.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T11:35:00.000-08:00

This is a day for thanks,

A day in which we see or hear or feel the wonders of the other moments of the year.

This is a day for time,a day in which we think of pasts that make our present rich and future bountiful.

This is a day for joy,a day in which we share a gift of laughter, warm and gentle as a smile.

Above all, this is a day for peace.

So, let us touch each other and know that we are none.

For these and other blessings, we give thanks.

--Daniel Roselle (alt.)

Marriage for All, But Not This 20-Something

2011-11-23T08:14:00.000-08:00

Over the last two years most of my friends have gotten married and had children, and it is not that I am not happy for them, but I feel like some of them are pressuring me to do the same, because I am now 28 and according to them time is running out. I do feel like maybe I would like to be a little further along in some aspects of my life, but I certainly don't feel like 28 is old. In fact I never wanted to get married until I was 3o and since that is only two years away now it looks like that will not happen. So many of my friends seemed shocked when I told them I wanted to wait until my mid thirties to have children. They asked me how I would have energy to play with them when I was that "old". Having a 40 year old sister who acts and looks like 21 and a mother who had two children at almost 4o I just didn't understand what they were talking about. I don't see myself being worn out in ten years. I mean that is only one third of the way through your life typically. I would hope I wouldn't be ready for a nursing home at that point, but that is what I felt like they were implying. Should I rush to get married just because I was getting older? At a baby shower last week my aunt commented on how my cousin was considered a high risk pregnancy because she was 34 years old. But a lot of women have children much later than this, healthy, happy babies with no problems. I would like to travel and work on my career, but I would like children and a family some day too. I fully support and fight for gay marriage, but I am not sure I would want marriage for myself, at least not right now. Especially with the divorce rate so high, I am in no rush. The below article describes exaclty how I feel.

Marriage for All, But Not This 20-Something

By Krystie Lee YandoliWeNews commentatorTuesday, November 22, 2011

http://womensenews.org/story/marriagedivorce/111121/marriage-all-not-20-something?page=0,1

She's an ardent proponent of marriage equality, but the ideal gets fuzzy in her own life. Krystie Lee Yandoli meditates on her part in the trend by 20-something women to delay or forego marriage.

Enjoying the Rewards
Yes, we've come a long way since the days of bartering brides in exchange for dowries, but as of now, I'm content to enjoy some of the rewards of a generation that isn't so dependent on marriage. I'm not eager to join a tradition that expects me to change my last name to that of my male counterpart and have my father walk me down the aisle and pass me over to my husband.
I support those friends who want to enter the heterosexual marriage culture--and perhaps continue to update it--but for me it's not tempting.

And I'm not alone in my hesitation to rush to the altar.

Despite the seeming wedding mood all around me on campus and on TV, Census figures in May found Americans waiting longer to get married and the median age for marriage last year was 26 for women, up from 22 in 1980.

Since 1986, the number of women ages 25 to 29 who have never married has jumped sharply, to 47 percent from 27 percent.

Women with better jobs, women with more education and women enjoying the single life (cue "Sex and the City" here) are all possible explanations.

These same women have also become increasingly liberal and progressive in our ideology and political discourse. The Gallup Poll reported in May 2011 that for the first time a majority of Americans, 53 percent, believe the law should recognize same-sex marriage.

Youth Support
The same report implies that the future of legal same-sex marriage rests with America's youth: 70 percent among those aged 18 to 34 support same-sex marriage in comparison to 39 percent among those 55 and older.

Apparently, many other young women, like me, avidly support same-sex marriage without any strong, urgent interest in entering the institution themselves.

We must be a concern and target of the social conservatives; perhaps one of the reasons they are barrage-attacking reproductive rights is to drive us back into the walls of marriage.
But that won't work for me.

I am pro-equality, pro-rights and pro-choice and I think this is true for many in my generation. It all boils down to an individual's right to choose and the government's role in enabling these rights as American citizens. As the saying goes, same-sex couples have every right to be just as miserable as straight couples.

Perhaps one day I'll grow up and change my mind about getting married. Maybe I'll find a way to honor my family's religious and cultural tradition without compromising my own values. Maybe I'll decide that it's financially beneficial to sign legal documentation with a long-time partner.

Or perhaps, better yet, I'll throw logic out the window, follow my heart, and wind up in a white wedding after all. But it would have to happen like that; while I'm making other plans.

CT Turkey Drive Coming Up Short

2011-11-22T06:47:00.000-08:00

Foodshare needs your help!!! See below for details!

By Steven Goode, sgoode@courant.com
The Hartford Courant

3:12 p.m. EST, November 21, 2011

BLOOMFIELD ——

With less than 24 hours left in its annual pre-Thanksgiving Turkey Drive, Foodshare is falling far short of its goal of getting 19,000 birds to distribute to needy families.

As of 2 p.m. Monday, the organization had received 16,274 turkeys as part of its Turkey and a Twenty fundraising program. An updated number will be released Monday afternoon.

Amanda Renna, a spokeswoman for Foodshare, said Monday that the goal is the same as last year, but this year's donations are lower.

"We're not even close," Renna said, adding that she expected that the economy and recent storms played a role.

Renna said it's not too late to give. Foodshare is accepting donations at its location at 450 Woodland Ave. in Bloomfield until 8 p.m. Monday and is opening at 6 a.m. on Tuesday. The WDRC-FM live traveling caravan will be at the Highland Park Market in Manchester from 4 to 7 p.m.

But time is running short — the effort ends at 11 a.m. Tuesday so that needy families have time to defrost and prepare their turkeys in time for Thanksgiving dinner.

"We need donations sooner [rather than] later," Renna said.

Grocery stores in the greater Hartford area are also accepting donations. For a complete list visit the Foodshare website at http://www.foodshare.org, or call 860-286-9999.

The organization is also still working toward its goal of raising $800,000 from the effort. As of Monday almost $500,000 had been donated.

Parenthood: Helps Make Good CEOs

2011-11-17T05:01:00.000-08:00

The Rise Of The Female CEO And The Folly Of Men Who Just Don't Get It
By Laura Yecies
11/15/2011 @ 2:19PM

On Monday last week I woke up a bit before my 5:45 alarm (yes, quite amazing how one can actually adjust to a new schedule) so had a few minutes to scan email and the online news before my hike and came across the headline “Why Most Women Will Never Become CEO.” Gene Marks, the author, is a Forbes contributor.

My first thought when I read that headline was how silly it was. After all, “Most anyone won’t be CEO.” You can put pretty name your group for the “anyone” place – most men won’t be CEO, most New Yorkers won’t be CEO, even most Harvard MBAs, though they hate to admit it, won’t be CEO.

Then I read on and was irked. And admittedly, while obviously very curious, I had to set the article aside for a few days to temper my reaction.

The article starts with a description of some negative teenage behavior (both boys and girls actually) and then a projection (without any evidence) that the silly “high school girl drama” exhibited by the author’s teenage daughters is typical of professional women.

After reading this, I should have just abandoned the article – “Reason #1” was enough to make this article not credible. But my curiosity got the best of me.

The next point is that men are incapable of taking women seriously in the office and are only focused on women’s appearance. I find this to be an insult to the many serious, professional men I have worked with over the last 23 years. Not that I am naïve to human nature and a bit of normal banter (and by the way women occasionally notice men’s hot or not-so-hot appearance) but I do believe we’ve been mostly past this for years. And to the extent it is present, we should treat this behavior as an unacceptable aberration not to be accepted.

The corollary to this point, which the author makes later, is that “men can also get away with more stupidity.” Note to any men reading this…NOT. Check in with several recently former Fortune 500 CEOs to verify.

Marks discusses the challenges that mothers have juggling working and parenting. And, yes, when in the midst of a big work project, it is hard to leave coworkers to take care of a sick child or go to your child’s sports game.

The modern reality, though, is that both genders are facing these challenges. And both men and women are facing these challenges the usual way – with a little less sleep. My observation is that parenting and home management is becoming more shared. To the extent it isn’t, then the lesson to our daughters is, if you want to maintain an active career, chose a husband who will be a partner with you. Even if the thesis is right that women are so much more instinctively bonded with their children that their juggle is harder, there are many cases where that juggling skill morphs into brilliant business multi-tasking.

Marks ends with an assertion that the women who can be CEO are the ones with the thickest skin. I think anyone who rises through the corporate ranks or the rough-and-tumble of business builds up some calluses. But for a truly effective CEO, they are calluses and not overall thick skin. Women CEOs lose as much sleep when they have to fire someone or face a tough decision. I certainly didn’t get to where I am by virtue of having thick skin.

If anything it’s the opposite. Yes, I’ve cried at work. My first year at Informix, while laying off a top employee who was a single mom; in the bathroom at the Check Point office in Israel 20 years later after my first Israeli-style “dressing down” of a proposal, and later that year in front of my staff when I got the call that one of my team member’s daughter was diagnosed with a brain tumor.

I think parenting is one of the best experiences in the world for learning empathy and if that helps in being a CEO then women–and men–are benefiting from that experience even as they juggle.

The bottom line is that many if not most of the generalizations and barriers described in said article have changed or are changing. In the cases where they are not – if women are not being taken as seriously or aren’t bringing the right skills to the table—let’s figure out how to level the playing field so that we can get the best talent involved in starting and growing businesses.

Laura Yecies is the CEO of SugarSync, the world’s fastest growing cloud (digital files) storage, sync and collaboration tool. She is a consumer software and Internet services industry veteran with two decades of experience leading top consumer brands such as ZoneAlarm, Yahoo and Netscape. Yecies has been on staff as a lecturer for International Marketing at Santa Clara University, and serves on the board of several community non-profit organizations.

Giving Thanks Happy Hour!

2011-11-16T09:18:00.000-08:00

I just had to post a blog about CT NOW and CT NARAL's first cocktail hour tonight. I am so excited that so many of my friends will be there. I am also hoping to connect with some new people. What a perfect way to spend the evening! Don't forget to bring a non-perishable food item for the Connecticut Food Bank.

The Burnt-Out Feminist

2011-11-12T21:51:00.000-08:00

I must admit that one of my biggest pet peeves when dealing with those of older generations than yours is when the person minimizes my stress or level of exhaustion simply because of my age. Just because I am 24 years old does not mean that I do not have anything to worry about besides painting my nails, flat-ironing my hair, and stalking the latest trend on Facebook. The fact is I am 24 years old, do all of that, AND also go to graduate school full-time with two internships, waitress part time for some type of income, have two classes to worry about and take care of a dog, boyfriend, friendships, and family in my "free time". Not to mention the piles of folded laundry that seem to never be able to get back into that bureau, the dishes that never seem to put themselves away, and the other mundane chores that are simply overlooked. Oh, and how could I possibly forget how much fun it is to deal with the student loans and pressure to find full-time employment to pay such loans, as well as simply live and function in life, in this sad economy.

I am young, yes, but I am stressed like any other person in America today. According to this article, though, women are really falling prey to such stress and exhaustion, especially those 30 years or younger! Check it out & school yourself! Don't let yourself become another one of the fallen...

Women: Do You Think Your Uterus Makes You Less Funny?

2011-11-10T04:16:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I'm posting an article from the NY Post on this blog. But I read this one and thought, wow, something positive about women in the NY Post. Cool.

The movie Bridesmaids clearly has many people pondering the 2007 "women aren't funny" article by Vanity Fair writer, Christopher Hitchens. You can read it, here. I just read it, and think I need to absorb it. He makes a connection between women's ability to give birth and their ability to be funny. Because we have that ability, it makes us less funny?? Hmmmm... Tina Fey, anyone?

I will continue to mull it over. I think Hitchens wanders deeply where he probably shouldn't.

Props to Kathy Griffin. Wasn't really a fan, but her comments in the below article have changed that.

Getting the last laugh
They’re the laugh-riot girls! Women in comedy are finally getting their due

By MANDY STADTMILLER
Last Updated: 12:19 PM, November 8, 2011
Posted: 11:29 PM, November 7, 2011

Comedian Kathy Griffin likes to tell tales out of school — perhaps no more so than when she’s talking about what it means to be a high-level woman in the traditionally male-dominated field of comedy.

“Once I was in this meeting a few years ago with this guy, Ben Silverman,” says Griffin of the former NBC Entertainment chief. “And I was talking to him about going from my Bravo show to a more scripted show. And I was really complimenting him on ‘30 Rock,’ and I said, ‘What’s so great is it’s really proven that just like the shows I grew up with — “Phyllis” and “Mary Tyler Moore” and “Rhoda” and all these female-driven comedies — Tina [Fey] has kind of brought that back in a way that’s so wonderful and successful.’ ”

Funny ladies Kathy Griffin and Wanda Sykes will headline this year’s New York Comedy Festival alongside Sarah Silverman — and it’s about time women in comedy make waves, they say.

Griffin — who is one of three female headliners for the New York Comedy Festival, which marks the most women ever on the top billing of the lineup — gets right to the punch line about the closed-doors meeting. After she was told “30 Rock” didn’t make that much money, and after she countered that it had garnered so many Emmys, she heard a line she’ll never forget. “He said: ‘And — it’s really Alec [Baldwin]’s show,’ ” says Griffin, 51, laughing in disbelief. “It’s based on Tina Fey. It’s based on her life. She wrote it. It’s based on her own personal experience that no one ever had, which is to be the first female head writer on ‘Saturday Night Live,’ so I never forgot that phrase. ‘It’s really Alec’s show.’ So I was like, ‘Buh-bye, Ben. Thanks for your time. I’m going to go back to my little cable show and be really, really funny.’ ”

[A representative for Silverman said, “Ben denies Kathy’s statement and is proud that he has worked alongside super-talented comediennes including everyone from Tina Fey and Amy Poehler to America Ferrera and Sofia Vergara.”]

Indeed, as Griffin knows better than most, to be a female comic is to work harder, jump higher and get past more misconceptions. Happily, though, it’s finally starting to pay off. Over the summer, Kristin Wiig’s movie “Bridesmaids” shattered box-office records. Highly rated female-centric comedies dominate the fall lineup, from “New Girl” on Fox to Whitney Cummings’ double-header with “Whitney” on NBC and “Two Broke Girls” on CBS. And over on E!, Chelsea Handler’s fempire only continues to grow as she wields unprecedented power in upcoming contract negotiations.

“We’ve entered a new age of the female comedian,” says Caroline Hirsch, the owner of Carolines on Broadway and organizer of the New York Comedy Festival, which runs tomorrow to Sunday.

"These are no shrinking violets. We’re seeing a new generation of strong and influential female voices in comedy.” Indeed, the success of “Bridesmaids,” which had a budget of only $32.5 million and boasted a spectacular $287 million in global ticket sales, flew directly in the face of these long-standing stereotypes.

“What really excites me about ‘Bridesmaids,’ ” Griffin says, “is the fact that so many of my straight dude friends were recommending it to me. They’re not [usually] going to see a chick flick.”

Griffin also points to the inspiration she sees in this season’s sitcom It girl, her friend 29-year-old Cummings. “She and I have been e-mailing back and forth a lot, and I said, ‘Look, it’s not lost on me that what you’re doing is unprecedented in the history of television. Which is basically to be doing the Seinfeld-ian model for starring in a network show that you’re also writing or co-writing. And then it’s doubly impressive to have another network show on the side that you’re co-writing with Michael Patrick King.’ ”

Funny ladies Kathy Griffin and Wanda Sykes will headline this year’s New York Comedy Festival alongside Sarah Silverman — and it’s about time women in comedy make waves, they say.

Of course, Cummings isn’t escaping without plenty of barbs along the way, including one viciously funny taunt from another festival headliner this year, Norm Macdonald. He said, in a thinly veiled reference to Cummings’ attendance on a Comedy Central roast in an interview he gave to “Opie & Anthony” this year: “Hey, guess what, there’s a young girl that’s middling attractive that swears a lot. Let’s get her.”

Cummings’ response? “Norm is hilarious,” she told a reporter.

Amy Schumer is yet another pretty, raunchy comic to break out of the celebrity roasts this year. Schumer, 30, just sold pilots to CBS and Comedy Central, and she’s also executive producing a reality series about women in comedy — so she knows whereof she speaks.

“I think people who say ‘Women aren’t funny’ are just sad and misinformed . . . I think they didn’t have sex until well after college and have an off relationship with their mothers,” she says. “This is a great time for women in comedy or just women in general. I love the things we are allowed to do now. Like vote and have consensual sex.”

A new documentary out next month on the subject, cheekily called “Women Aren’t Funny,” inspired by the infamous 2007 Christopher Hitchens essay in Vanity Fair, was created by a female comic who broke out on “Last Comic Standing,” Bonnie McFarlane and her comedian husband, Rich Vos.

Why do fewer women do stand-up? “Women like going to the bathroom together, so going on the road for three weeks alone isn’t usually at the top of their bucket lists,” says McFarlane, 42.
While Griffin calls Hitchens’ piece a “shock jock” tactic, McFarlane says, “I think guys say things like that to make women mad, and then point and say, ‘Look! See?’ ”

Comedic digs about women not being funny don’t bother Griffin. “I don’t really get bothered by the old fogies who say chicks aren’t funny. A lot of people made a big fuss about Jerry Lewis [who said in 2000 he didn’t like ‘any’ female comedians], too. What bothers me is when a currently working executive who signs the checks and makes the decisions about what goes on a TV slate, when those people don’t think chicks are funny. But what’s great is that it’s finally getting to the place where it should be in comedy. Which is: You should be judged on whether or not you’re funny.

“I mean, I’m doing four hourlong specials for Bravo this year, and that’s a record,” she concludes of her mind-boggling feat of material generation that puts even a prolific comic like Chris Rock to shame. “It’s never been done — by a male or a female.”

Mississippi 'Personhood' Amendment Vote Fails

2011-11-09T09:34:00.000-08:00

Mississippi 'Personhood' Amendment Vote Fails

Emily Wagster Pettus Huffington Post posted 11/8/11 11:17 PM ET

Interesting article about yesterday's election.

JACKSON, Miss. — Mississippi voters Tuesday defeated a ballot initiative that would've declared life begins at fertilization, a proposal that supporters sought in the Bible Belt state as a way to prompt a legal challenge to abortion rights nationwide.

The so-called "personhood" initiative was rejected by more than 55 percent of voters, falling far short of the threshold needed for it to be enacted. If it had passed, it was virtually assured of drawing legal challenges because it conflicts with the Supreme Court's 1973 Roe v. Wade decision that established a legal right to abortion. Supporters of the initiative wanted to provoke a lawsuit to challenge the landmark ruling.

The measure divided the medical and religious communities and caused some of the most ardent abortion opponents, including Republican Gov. Haley Barbour, to waver with their support.
Opponents said the measure would have made birth control, such as the morning-after pill or the intrauterine device, illegal. More specifically, the ballot measure called for abortion to be prohibited "from the moment of fertilization" – wording that opponents suggested would have deterred physicians from performing in vitro fertilization because they would fear criminal charges if an embryo doesn't survive.

Supporters were trying to impose their religious beliefs on others by forcing women to carry unwanted pregnancies, including those caused by rape or incest, opponents said.
Amy Brunson voted against the measure, in part because she has been raped. She also has friends and family that had children through in vitro fertilization and she was worried this would end that process.

"The lines are so unclear on what may or may not happen. I think there are circumstances beyond everybody's control that can't be regulated through an amendment," said Brunson, a 36-year-old dog trainer and theater production assistant from Jackson.
Hubert Hoover, a cabinet maker and construction worker, voted for the amendment.
"I figure you can't be half for something, so if you're against abortion you should be for this. You've either got to be wholly for something or wholly against it," said Hoover, 71, who lives in a Jackson suburb.

Mississippi already has tough abortion regulations and only one clinic where the procedures are performed, making it a fitting venue for a national movement to get abortion bans into state constitutions.

Keith Mason, co-founder of the group Personhood USA, which pushed the Mississippi ballot measure, has said a win would send shockwaves around the country. The Colorado-based group is trying to put similar initiatives on 2012 ballots in Florida, Montana, Ohio and Oregon. Voters in Colorado rejected similar proposals in 2008 and 2010.
Barbour, long considered a 2012 presidential candidate before he ruled out a run this year, said a week ago that he was undecided. A day later, he voted absentee for the amendment, but said he struggled with his support.

"Some very strongly pro-life people have raised questions about the ambiguity and about the actual consequences – whether there are unforeseen, unintended consequences. And I'll have to say that I have heard those concerns and they give me some pause," Barbour said last week.
Barbour was prevented from seeking re-election because of term limits. The Democrat and Republican candidates vying to replace him both supported the abortion measure.
Specifically, the proposed state constitutional amendment would've defined a person "to include every human being from the moment of fertilization, cloning, or the functional equivalent thereof."

The state's largest Christian denomination, the Mississippi Baptist Convention, backed the proposal through its lobbying arm.

The bishops of the Episcopal Diocese of Mississippi and the General Conference of the United Methodist Church opposed it.

Bishop Joseph Latino of the Catholic Diocese of Jackson, a church traditionally against abortion, issued a statement neither supporting nor opposing the initiative. The Mississippi State Medical Association took a similar step, while other medical groups opposed it.

Mississippi already requires parental or judicial consent for any minor to get an abortion, mandatory in-person counseling and a 24-hour wait before any woman can terminate a pregnancy.

Don't Forget to Vote Today!!!

2011-11-08T06:14:00.000-08:00

With the whirlwind of the past 10 days, it is important that voting today does not slip to the bottom of everyone' to do list! Given that many towns are still dealing with power outages, several polling locations have been changed. To simplify the process, this link will provide you with your updated polling location!!

In case you needed a little more motivation, here is some food for thought:

"Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote."
~George Jean Nathan

Women Own 1% of the World's Property -- Occupy That

2011-11-05T05:52:00.001-07:00

Soraya Chemaly Huffingtonpost Posted: 11/4/11 04:00 PM ET

It must be what they're wearing.

1%
One Percent.
O.N.E. P.E.R.C.E.N.T.

That's the number between ZERO and TWO. Plus a "%" symbol behind it.

There must be a good reason for this startling fact. Especially since, according to UN gender reports, women perform 66% of the world's work, produce 50% of its food and earn a whopping 10% of its income. Could it be that Occupy Wall Street really is afeminist movement camouflaged to make it palatable?

Nah! Besides, I know; women don't want to own property, it's a hassle. They know intuitively that property is overrated. It can't help that women aren't as good at math and find it harder to calculate closing costs. And it really doesn't help that clothing standards are dropping. If women would just dress for success, banks will take them seriously. Besides, their husband's provide everything they need and they shouldn't worry their pretty heads about crass things like property. In addition, if they're liberated, which we all know they pretty much are these days, they need to work harder and stop expecting things to be handed to them on a platter like the princesses they all secretly want to be. Phew, all done.

But, maybe it's because girls and women:

Don't get to go to school when their brothers do

Get married off (don't worry, at a good price)

Are deprived of food when it's scarce

Aren't allowed to own anything themselves

Don't inherit

Aren't paid for their labor

Are property. Duh.

How much poorer do we want women to get in the world? It's really hard to imagine. They already make up the overwhelming majority of the world's poor. And, despite the successes of feminists (yes, men and women) during the past century, even in the U.S. we have a persistent and growingfeminization of poverty.

If you doubt what I'm saying just because you have to then look at Half The Sky, or We Are Equalsor The Girl Effect or any number of readily available sources. These organizations are not fly-by-night hobbies for people with not enough macrame to occupy them. These are big, serious international movements created by thoughtful, kind and empathetic thinkers and doers dedicated to changing the world.

I know, I know, Oprah and the Queen are both on the Forbes List. I love Travie McCoy, too. It just bums me out that he had to point those two out in particular. Because then I had to, sigh, explain catchy women-rule-the world agitprop to my patient children. Oprah and the Queen are the only two people mentioned in his song, even though out of the top 100 Richest People in America only 10 are women. Neither O. or HRH are on that one.

But there are several lists, one for Women and another for the real people (there is no "Richest Men's List"), which is just called the Forbes Rich List. On that list there are eleven women in the Top 100, including one self-made woman, Wu Yajun, whom I imagine might be in possession of underwear enhancing prosthetics of some sort. Half of the women are listed by their name followed by "& family" which sounds like Forbes Code for "see, her dad/husband/brother did it). Of the top 50 men listed, only seven are listed "& family." Do the other guys not have families? If you took away the "& family" would these women be on the list at all? In any case, it's seems awfully lonely to be a billionaire male. And yes, I know, American and European women have made pay and income gains during the last 50 years. Although every Tuesday I say a pay equity prayer because that is the day that women's salaries catch up with the previous week's salary earned by their male peers.

Which goes to show, money isn't everything. Why does it matter if women aren't earning, saving and investing it? It doesn't make you happier.

It does, however, make you healthier, make you safer, mean you live longer, you don't die in childbirth, you don't work til you die, you aren't subjected to the constant threat of violence or violence itself. It means you are an agent in your own life.

I understand that lots of people feel that women have enough and that men are now getting the short end of the stick. If that's the case why NOT let women spare men the onerous task of being workhorses in charge of their own destiny and having responsibility for the women and children around them. Men should stop paying for brides, educate their daughters, let women do paid work and allow them to inherit property. I say, throw out the stick. Look at the frigging mess we're in.

But, before I go to worship at the foot of my Marilyn Waring statue we should consider Dominant Forces of Behavior. The societal rules, formal and informal, that continue to enslave and oppress girls and women, and by logical extension the men and boys they "belong" to, are hard to change.

It's important to mention here that I'm a serious Trekkie (not so serious that I dress up, but serious enough that most of fourth grade was spent perfecting raising one eyebrow). What does that have to do with anything? I really actually believe that, on this planet, we're all the same. It's hard to keep in mind as we obsess over the duration of Kim Kardashian's marriage or the final score of Sunday's game (pick a game, any game). As long as one more female child gets sold into marriage, one more girl gets stoned for being raped, one more mother dies giving birth for lack of hot water, one more widow goes into hiding to save her own life -- we, women, all do.

And we, men and women both, get to live with that. It's why I sometimes can't bear to read Nick Kristof's column and why I don't have much patience for the male right's movement this morning. And, since I always say this, to be clear, this is not an exercise in male-bashing. I know that it's been a downer for guys growing up in the past 50 years to learn that maybe men do bad things to women because they're essentially taught to. This is a description of poverty and inequality, of worldwide, gender-based social injustice based on traditions and laws that are archaic and hard to change. And, the fact that they overwhelmingly benefit boys and men is not the same as being good for them.

If the rules are hard to change, do we stop trying? So, my real question isn't how much poorer can women get, it's if we don't radically empathize and stop confusing gender with destiny, who will?

Oh, and one last thing, the idea that the Occupy Wall Street movement is feminist at it's core is just not something we're comfortable with. It's a lot more acceptable if we just keep hiding those people. As Daphne Muller points out: "Men's visits... have been consistently reported -- just perform a basic internet search for Michael Moore, Russell Simmons, Kanye West, Cornel West or Chris Hedges. But what about Naomi Klein, Barbara Ehrenreich, Eve Ensler and Susan Sarandon, to name a few?" Except for articles about sexual assault being a problem, that is. But, that's not because mainstream media is way into highlighting women primarily for being sexual and vulnerable. I'm going now.

Follow Soraya Chemaly on Twitter: www.twitter.com/schemaly

Know a Connecticut Woman Vet who Needs Health Care?

2011-11-03T15:24:00.000-07:00

VA Needs To Do Outreach To Treat More Women Vets
by Peggy McCarthy

October 28, 2011

A female Marine Corps veteran, who was in desperate need of mental health services, didn’t know she could get help from the VA until 17 years after she left the service.

Trina Parker of West Haven, said many women like her, who were in the military in peace time think that VA services are just for veterans of war, and they often don’t even see themselves as soldiers.

Another woman veteran, Juliet Taylor, who served in Iraq, said many female vets don’t take advantage of health services at the VA in West Haven because they connect it with “old men” who are Vietnam War veterans. They envision the women’s health center there as a “dungeon” since it’s in a basement. As a result, many don’t get any health care. “While the services are great at the VA, it’s not a place where we go. There’s a stigma attached to the VA. I didn’t care what they had there. I didn’t want to go,” she said.

The two women spoke at the VA Connecticut Homeless Veteran Summit attended by service providers and veterans. The conference, at the VA’s Errera Community Care Center in West Haven, focused on services for female veterans.

Out of more than 15,000 women veterans in the state, 2,752 go to the VA for health care, said Jane Sarja, women’s program manager for VA Connecticut. In an interview, she admitted that it’s a challenge to attract more women vets partly because of misconceptions that “the VA doesn’t know how to take care of women.” She said a separate women’s health center opened at the West Haven VA in 1996 in a basement to give women privacy. The center will move to an upper floor next year, and will still be separated from men’s services, she said. “It will provide the same privacy and good care,” she said.

“We’ve made great strides, but we have a long way to go,” she said. VA health services are provided at the main health facilities in West Haven and Newington and in outpatient clinics in New London, Danbury, Stamford, Waterbury, Windham and Winsted.

Parker, the Marine Corps vet, served from 1982 to 1986. Afterward, she suffered from anxiety, alcoholism and PTSD, which she attributed to “unwanted sexual advances” while in the service. She couldn’t hold a job and was homeless at times, living with friends. In 2003, she applied for welfare and was sent to the state Dept. of Labor for employment assistance.

The staff member happened to be a female veteran who referred her to Errera, where she received mental health care. “If I had the opportunity of mental health treatment 17 years before, it would have saved me 17 years of aging with alcohol,” she said. “I didn’t know about the VA. Nobody was out there letting you know,” she added.

Parker has worked at Errera as a peer specialist for five years, the longest she’s held a job. She has been sober for eight years. In an interview, she said she is starting a new job in late November in Bedford, MA, helping women veterans. She’s passionate about reaching out to women from her peacetime era who, she said, are “falling through the cracks.”

But, Taylor, the Iraq War veteran, said many women veterans, regardless of their era, aren’t getting health care because they refuse to go to the VA. She said she finally went for dental care five and a half years after she left the Army. She had been rejected by two clinics for insurance reasons, then referred to a facility that only treated male veterans.

She said she received such good care at the VA, she has since brought other women vets there for help. One hadn’t had her prescription eyeglasses checked for 15 years.

She urged VA officials to “get out into the community” to reach out to women veterans. She suggested community colleges because many women veterans, herself included, attend the schools because it’s paid for under the federal GI Bill, and there’s often money left to pay for housing.

Others at the conference said they had never thought of community colleges as resources for reaching veterans and now plan to tap them. They also suggested contacting domestic violence centers which may serve female veterans, using personal contact instead of relying on events to spread the word, and changing language in publicity so it refers to people who served in the military, so there is no confusion about wartime vs peacetime service and the definition of the word “veteran.”

Sarja, the VA women’s program manager, said the VA is “committed to working very hard” to convince women to take advantage of its services. She said that although West Haven is the only VA facility in the state with a separate space for treating women, there are doctors in each VA location that are “specially trained in women’s health.”

“We know that tens of thousands of women will be coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan. They are not going away. The numbers of women vets are rising,” she said.

2011 Global Gender Gap Report: The Best (And Worst) Countries For Women

2011-11-02T08:37:00.000-07:00

2011 Global Gender Gap Report: The Best (And Worst) Countries For Women

Interesting article from the Huffington Post. I would live in Iceland!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/01/global-gender-gap-report_n_1070466.html?ref=women#s446644&title=135_Yemen

If you've been itching to take a sabbatical overseas, now may be the time to up and move to Iceland. That's right, friends: That not-actually-so-icy isle may be the best country in the world to be a working woman, according to the World Economic Forum's newly released 2011 Global Gender Gap Report. The report ranked 135 countries -- and Iceland topped the list.
The report gets its rankings by measuring the gap between men and women in four key areas:
1. Economic participation and opportunity, which covers the wage gap as well as the percentage of women working and women working in high-skill jobs. 2. Educational attainment, which includes access to all levels of education.3. Health and survival, which measures life expectancy and mortality rates.4. Political empowerment, which measures how women are represented in decision-making structures (i.e. the government).

All 135 countries were assigned a numerical score between 0 (complete inequality) and 1 (complete equality). These scores were calculated by taking the average of 14 different ratios, each based on a specific indicator that falls under the heading of one of the four key areas. The indicators included the ratio of female to male literacy, the ratio of female pay to male pay for similar work, the ratio of female legislators and senior officials to male legislators and officials, and the number of female heads of state to male heads of state in the last 50 years.

The U.S. managed to squeeze into the top 20 for the second time since the report's inception in 2005, sandwiched between the U.K. and Canada. While over 90 percent of gaps in life expectancy and access to education have already been closed worldwide, women continue lag behind men at work and in politics.

Click here to see which countries made the top 20 -- and bottom 10 -- when it comes to equality between the sexes.

How I Coped With Losing All Of My Hair -- At 21

2011-10-28T04:37:00.000-07:00

Georgia Van Cuylenburg

Actress, Comedian, Producer, Activist

GET UPDATES FROM Georgia Van Cuylenburg

How I Coped With Losing All Of My Hair -- At 21

Posted: 10/27/11 08:19 AM ET

Most little girls have a very special connection to their hair. When I was growing up in Australia, I was always trying to make it the best hair it could be, and sometimes I got it a little wrong. The day before the first grade photo I decided I didn't want bangs, so I took the scissors to them. In fifth grade I shaved my eyebrows off and told my Mother they fell out. And in 6th grade I decided an under-cut was a good idea ... wrong!!

By the time I was 16, my hair was down to the small of my back, and my natural golden highlights were the envy of all the girls in my class. Body image issues plagued me in high school, but the one thing I loved about my appearance was my hair. When I was 18 I got asked to be a hair model by a famous hair salon, and my hair became even more the thing that I identified as ME. I was now officially "the girl with the great hair."

Three years later, my "great hair" and I were working in L.A. I told jokes, did TV and film, often on shows for children, helping them believe in their own 'magic.' I loved my new life.

Then one typical Wednesday, as I stood in the shower, I watched as hundreds of my 'great hairs' washed down my body. As I rubbed the shampoo through my hair, clumps fell out in my hands. I was too scared to get out of the shower because I didn't know what I would see in the mirror. When I finally did look at myself I could see spots of bare scalp peering through my hair. As I brushed and brushed I watched my clear white sink fill up with hair. I remember seeing myself in the mirror and holding back the tears. That day my life changed forever.

I told myself that there must be a reason why this was happening. I shouldn't waste my time feeling sorry for myself, I should just find out why. Over the next year I put myself through dose after dose of steroid and cortisone injections. I had the most horrific form of acupuncture imaginable. I ate every food, supplement and vitamin that you find when you Google 'hair loss.' But all the doctors I had visited were right: I had Alopecia Areata, an autoimmune disease where the body rejects its hair. There is no cure.

That first year I hid my Alopecia Areata. The few people who knew insisted that I should keep it a secret because no one would hire me. I wore a terrible wig that looked and felt like straw. It was so bad that I always wore a hat. (Believe me, a Californian summer spent in a wig and hat, on top of an ointment that creates constant 'sunburn' on your head, is a very painful and sweaty affair.) I couldn't work in front of the camera because I couldn't take my hat off. I wouldn't let men get too near because I couldn't work out how to explain why, no matter how many items of clothing came off, the hat had to stay on. That was probably the toughest year of my life.

I knew something had to change. I had lost so much of myself. I was no longer the girl with the great hair, and lying all the time was exhausting. I have never been one to avoid the truth. My work involved encouraging children to love themselves ... just as they were. Yet here I was hiding who I really was.

It was that realization that changed everything for me. I decided to stop seeing my Alopecia Areata as a burden, but rather as an amazing gift. I had always wanted children to feel that I really understood when they spoke about being different or alone. And now I had a big 'signpost' on my head that said "I GET IT!!!"

I started sharing my story with children, and I could feel an amazing change in the way they responded to me. When I started working on a documentary about the experience, kids and adults from all around the world emailed me and shared their stories. It wasn't just Alopecians; people with all sorts of 'secrets' started confiding in me. Almost everyone I met had a secret to share with me. Because I was standing before them saying, "this is me," they felt they could do the same. And very slowly, I learned to trust I was good enough as I was, that it was the essential me that people -responded to -- with or without hair.

Not every moment of honesty has been joyful. Dating in particular has been rough. I now tell every guy on the first date. I don't want to go a second date with someone who sees me only as 'the girl with no hair.' I'd rather wait for a man who can see the strong person I have become because I have no hair. Alopecia Areata has become my Man Meter.

Over the last three years my hair has come and gone. Sometimes I have it and sometimes I don't. I now have a cabinet full of wigs, but most days I prefer just to wear the hair I have. I am very excited about the progress being made towards a cure for Alopecia Areata, and I hope one day it is found. But I can't say that I wish I never had it because of what it has brought to my life. Without my Alopecia Areata, I never would have seen the difference that being honest about yourself can make in the lives of others. I never would have met so many truly beautiful people and through them learned that I am beautiful, too. I never would have really believed that something I thought was a tragedy could fill my life with purpose.

Today I have about three quarters of my hair. I don't have any bangs because half an inch is missing at the front. I also don't have any eyebrows. All the hair is missing at the back too, so I once again have a fierce 'under-cut' ... and this time I'm okay with it.

Are American Women's Human Rights under Attack?

2011-10-27T04:47:00.000-07:00

Interesting read from the Huffington Post.

Do U.S. Abortion Restrictions Violate Human Rights?
by Anu Kumar, Executive Vice President of Ipas

In a hospital in Nicaragua, after a total ban on abortion was passed, a woman with an ectopic pregnancy was allowed to languish, waiting for her fallopian tube to rupture before a doctor agreed to perform the procedure necessary to save her life and future fertility. Even though there was no doubt to the outcome of her pregnancy, the doctor refused to operate until the fetus was certifiably dead, and with no ultrasound available in that rural hospital, there was only one way to make sure.

This is the world that Rep. Joe Pitts (R-PA) would like to bring to America with the passage of H.R. 358, the so-called "Protect Life Act," a bill that would deny pregnant women access to emergency treatment, insurance coverage for abortion services and even information about how she could pay for an abortion. It's bad enough that one member of Congress would be willing to put women's lives at risk this way; that a majority of the House of Representatives voted for it is appalling.

While in the United States we may treat abortion restrictions as a political issue, elsewhere around the world, advocates and experts understand such restrictions to be public health and human rights issues. And in the United States this year, we have seen law after law passed that clearly violates international human rights standards.

Contrast Pitts' legislation with the report on legal restrictions on aspects of sexual and reproductive health presented to the United Nations on Monday by Anand Grover, the United Nations' Special Rapporteur on Health. The report states,

"Realization of the right to health requires the removal of barriers that interfere with individual decision-making on health-related issues and with access to health services, education and information, in particular on health conditions that only affect women and girls."

Indeed, the report highlights the growing global trend towards decriminalizing abortion. Everywhere, that is, except in the United States. In my home state of North Carolina this year, we have passed a number of barriers that "interfere with individual decision-making" on reproductive health: a mandatory waiting period, mandatory and biased counseling, and a forced ultrasound, all solely intended to place barriers and shame women who seek abortions, even if she has been raped or her life is in danger.

Just in the first half of this year, states enacted some 80 measures to restrict access to abortion (more than double the previous record set in 2005 of 34), all of which seem to violate the human rights standards set in international agreements. They include extreme restrictions, such as the one in Ohio that would ban abortion once a fetal heartbeat can be detected (six to 10 weeks' gestation). Several states, including Kansas, Tennessee and North Dakota have banned the use of telemedicine (key to delivering health services to underserved rural areas) for dispensing medical abortion. In Mississippi, a state ballot initiative, if passed, would mandate personhood from the moment of fertilization, possibly outlawing the most popular forms of contraception. Bearing in mind that 99 percent of American women have used contraception during in their lifetimes, this law would result in the violation of the rights of millions of American women.

Grover's report was developed following a thorough review of health research, national laws, international agreements and opinions and rulings issued by human rights bodies -- although it reads as if it were written about the United States:

"These laws make safe abortions and post-abortion care unavailable, especially to poor, displaced and young women. Such restrictive regimes, which are not replicated in other areas of sexual and reproductive health care, serve to reinforce the stigma that abortion is an objectionable practice."

In the United States, there have been laws on the books for decades that specifically deny young and low-income women access to abortion. Parental consent laws force young women to seek their parents' permission to have an abortion, regardless of their home situation. (Studies have shown that most teens will consult with a parent before deciding to terminate a pregnancy, but even those who risk violence or homelessness are still forced to produce at least one parents' consent.) And the Hyde Amendment bans the use of federal Medicaid funds for abortion, explicitly isolating one health care procedure for purely political reasons.

Amnesty International has created an international campaign to raise awareness about the toll the total ban on abortion is taking on women in Nicaragua. Is it time to create one for women in the United States?

"Should I worry?": Latinas and Breast Cancer

2011-10-26T07:42:00.000-07:00

In honnor of breast cancer awarness month, I thought this article was an interesting read.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/margaret-moran/should-i-worry-latinas-an_b_1019838.html?ir=Women

"Should I worry?": Latinas and Breast Cancer

"I wonder if this is anything I should worry about." This thought has crossed the minds of many women I know and love. Regardless of your socio-economic background or ethnicity, breast cancer is a frightening word loaded with "what ifs." For many of us with access to medical and adequate health coverage, our worries are rested after a doctor visit or screening shows we are cancer free. However, for women who lack the luxury of health coverage, early detection becomes a luxury they cannot afford.

More than 14,000 of the estimated 200,000 cases of breast cancer expected in the U.S. this year will occur among the Latina population; more than 2,200 women of Latin origin will die. In order to stem breast cancer deaths in women in the nation's fastest-growing population group, screening, education and support programs are critical. The latest statistics show that with early detection, breast cancer can be beaten in 99 percent of all cases.

Yet, according to recent studies, the majority of Latinas are diagnosed in Stage 4. Hispanic women show lower breast cancer screening rates than non-Hispanic/Latina White women and tend to seek and attain health care services less frequently than other ethnic groups. However, breast cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer among Hispanic/Latina women. Recent data indicates a hard truth that is too often ignored. Although, Hispanic women are less likely to have mammogram screenings and more likely to be diagnosed at later stages of breast cancer, they in fact have lower breast cancer rates (83.5 per 100,000) but are more likely to die from the disease. Studies consistently show that low income, low educational attainment, lack of health insurance, inability to speak English, lack of awareness of breast cancer risks and screening methods, acculturation level and lack of physician referral play important roles in the lower rates of screening utilization by Hispanic/Latina women. Organizations like Susan G. Komen for the Cure®, the world's leading breast cancer organization, are initiating major new outreach to dramatically improve cancer screening, education and outreach in the Latina community. In the last two years alone, Susan G. Komen has awarded more than $76 million in grants benefitting Latinas across the country. In this effort, LULAC can be instrumental because of our commitment to offer support in this outreach.

When I was a young girl, we didn't talk about breast cancer. Now, we must not only talk about it, but be sure that all women have access to proper screenings and treatments. We need to ensure that Hispanic women have the knowledge and medical care to put an end to this disease. Breast cancer affects everyone, not just the person diagnosed. Likewise, everyone needs to do their part to minimize the risks within our community.

2011-10-24T11:23:00.000-07:00

Whether it's labelled "feminist" or not, this looks like a good read.

Women's voices expand early in American history

http://www.lohud.com/article/20111024/NEWS01/110240320/Women-s-voices-expand-early-American-history

BEDFORD — The image of women in early American history is often that of Betsy Ross sewing a flag or Molly Pitcher carrying water to parched Continental artillerymen.But early American women had much more to say and do, according to three local historians. To prove the point, they compiled detailed, often first-person accounts of the lives of a cross-section of figures who, in part due to their gender, have graced the pages of few history books.With "In the Words of Women—The Revolutionary War and the Birth of the Nation, 1765-1799," Janet Wedge of Ossining, Louise North of Yorktown and Landa Freeman of Guilford, Conn., mined original letters and other papers to assemble a chronological and thematic account of the country's formative years.

"This is not women's history," says Wedge, who taught history for two decades at Yorktown High School. "It's American history through women's eyes and voices, if you will. We didn't want the book to be termed feminist."It isn't an academic tome, either, the authors say, though they expect it will be a popular campus resource. They envision it on nightstands and coffee tables, in the hands of ordinary readers gripped by the ideas of ordinary women living in extraordinary times.Women like Mrs. Nathaniel Adams, a loyalist who testified in the court martial of a Continental soldier accused of destroying her Village Street home during the retreat from the Battle of White Plains."They terrorize this woman, whose husband is not home, and her children," says North, a docent at the Neuberger Museum at Purchase College, SUNY, "and they have to leave the house only with what they have on their backs. The soldiers take what they want, and they set the house on fire.

"The story underscores how inhospitable Westchester's neutral ground was.Another woman, Mary Totten of Cortlandt, petitioned George Washington in 1777 for compensation for damage done by his troops bivouacking on her property. It's unclear whether an army that could barely pay its soldiers ever settled with her.And letters from Cornelia Van Cortlandt to her father, Pierre, detail how some of the family's slaves tried to escape and join the British cause. The letters reveal that the plot failed when one of the slaves turned on the others, and the rest were watched closely thereafter."Each of them begins to have a personality distinct from the others," said Wedge. "You can get that from what they're writing and what they're thinking about and how they're behaving. It's interesting to see that they were individuals. Usually they're thought of in more collective terms in history, I think."The authors, who discussed their book at the John C. Hart Memorial Library on Thursday, first worked together as volunteers at the John Jay Homestead in Katonah.Their first collaboration is a book based on the letters of Jay and his wife, Sarah Livingston Jay. That experience sparked their interest in women of the period, and they found an abundance of material, much of it digitized and published online, on woman of all social ranks, loyalties and ages.

The book took six years to write. They traveled to libraries and historical societies from Boston to Philadelphia and to Columbia University's Rare Book and Transcript Library. Original documents were key to the process, as was their treatment of those documents."What I think has been done in the past, when there have been letters by women, bits are always taken from them to integrate into the book that's being written about the man," said Wedge, a former adjunct professor of creative writing at Manhattanville College. "And it's always how the woman fit with the man, and how it elucidates his actions. It's never from the woman's point of view."The book represents 124 women. Some are well known, some less so. Benjamin Franklin's sister, Jane Mecom, wrote her brother often and outlived 11 of her 12 children."It's very sad," Wedge said.

"Sometimes it's so wrenching to us when it seems to us that it wasn't quite so wrenching to them because the death of children was such a common occurrence then."Mary Silliman, meanwhile, expressed an intimate longing for her husband, Connecticut militia leader Gold Silliman. When he was captured by the British, a Long Island judge was kidnapped and exchanged for him."She describes that in really wonderful language," North said.The book opens with snapshots of detail about each woman so that readers can refer back without the narrative getting bogged down.The women who populate these pages are strong, often opinionated and fully revealed as individuals.Some were atrocious spellers, like Debra Franklin.Some rely on the voices of others, including Mumbet, a former slave from Massachusetts who successfully sued for her freedom.At a time when great men went off to war and did great things, these women were notable in their own right. Many stepped up in the absence of the men, just as later generations of women would do in wartime. And similarly, they resumed their traditional roles at war's end."What do we love about them?" says Freeman, a former Bedford resident. "That they're intelligent, humane, that they want the best for their families. They love their husbands, and they're willing to work really hard when their husbands are gone."

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Beyond Tebowmania: Giving Women a Choice

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Published: January 17, 2012, NYTimes.comhttp://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/18/opinion/beyond-tebowmania-giving-women-a-choice.html?_r=1

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Georgia Van Cuylenburg

How I Coped With Losing All Of My Hair -- At 21

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"Should I worry?": Latinas and Breast Cancer

Published: January 17, 2012, NYTimes.com
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/18/opinion/beyond-tebowmania-giving-women-a-choice.html?_r=1

VA Needs To Do Outreach To Treat More Women Vets
by Peggy McCarthy