1/31/12

What Does Beyoncé's Recent Birth Tell Us About How Much We Value Mothers?

I've got to be honest, I did not understand why there was so much hype about the birth of Blue Ivy. I actually found it annoying. I am still pondering what it all means, but the below article has some really interesting facts about what women who aren't Beyonce face as mothers.

To all the mothers and mothers-to-be in the world, I salute you.


What Does Beyoncé's Recent Birth Tell Us About How Much We Value Mothers?
Posted: 01/24/2012 11:00 am


by Clare Winterton

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/clare-winterton/global-motherhood_b_1223877.html?ref=global-motherhood

As we look at the prominent and adoring coverage of celebrity moms and babies -- such as the recent media excitement that surrounded the birth of Beyoncé's daughter Blue Ivy -- how can we doubt that motherhood, and the health and welfare of all mothers, is a cornerstone of our culture?

Today the International Museum of Women launches MAMA, a new online exhibition on motherhood that suggests a far more complex and confusing picture.

Both the global statistics and our exhibition tell a story that is very different to the glowing and positive picture that surrounds each new celebrity birth.

Every 90 seconds a woman somewhere in the world dies from a complication of pregnancy or childbirth, and most of these deaths are preventable. And while it is true that the vast majority of these deaths occur in the developing world, the U.S. significantly lags other developed nations: the United States' rate of maternal mortality is the highest of any industrialized country. The United Nations rightly identified reducing the number of global maternal deaths as a key millennium development goal. Yet of all the millennium goals this one has made the least progress.

And it's not just issues of mothers' health that offer cause for doubt. Countless women around the world, in the U.S. included, still find that their work as mothers and in the workplace is not only under-valued, but under-paid as well. The U.S. campaign group MomsRising found that moms earn 27 percent less than male colleagues (compared to 10 percent less for non mothers); and single mothers earn between 34 percent and 44 percent less. Women in developing countries work 12 to 13 hours more per week more than men, and much of that work can be attributed to the childcare and domestic work involved in 'mothering'. What's more, the different aspects of 'mother's work' are so hard to juggle that many moms end up short changing their families, their careers or their health. Young women around the world tell us that one of their biggest anxieties about the future is whether they will be able to combine motherhood with a successful professional life.

Becoming a mother also brings other new hurdles and realities that are too often absent in the media's rosy depiction of celebrity motherhood: a changed body, new emotions and a realization that one's identity will never be quite the same. Women also discover that many of society's greatest remaining taboos are reserved for the journey towards and beyond motherhood -- from miscarriage to infertility and postpartum depression.

Our exhibition shows the starkness of these realities -- from Chantal Andersen's moving photographs of birth experiences in Bangladesh to Alexia Nye Jackson's documentary about working mothers in the U.S. and Humaira Abid's sculptures depicting the hidden disappointment of miscarriage. But it also illuminates areas of hope and optimism. A health worker in the Democratic Republic of Congo shares her vision for advancing maternal health in her country, a documentarian from Hungary looks at how men are increasing their share of parenting and domestic responsibility and a film-maker from the U.S. elicits women's realistic -- and positive -- reflections on their postpartum bodies. Two contributors share the critical role that mothers in Haiti played in rebuilding their country after the devastating 2010 earthquake.

These visions of hope and change are accompanied by art that spotlights the true beauty and diversity of modern mothers around the world -- through breath-taking images that are often a million miles from the "look how fast I got my body back" pictures of celebrity moms in swim-suits, mere months after giving birth. We see the contours of pregnant and postpartum bellies, the daily lives of mothers inside and outside the home and myriad glimpses of the love, hope and admiration that pass between mothers and children. We see the strength of mothers who are leaders their families and communities -- from Maasai mothers in Kenya to grandmothers in Bangladesh and midwives in Ecuador.

By sharing portraits and stories of motherhood that are too often unseen, we give women a space to define the true realities of 21st century motherhood and to share what needs to be done before mothers are truly valued in our country and in our world.

Perhaps when we can all see -- with clear eyes -- mothers and their lives as they really are, the world will come closer to valuing mothers. Valuing not just their role in families or even their beauty, but their health, their economic potential and their leadership. On that day, we dream that every mother and every baby will be celebrated with as much acclaim and veneration as Beyoncé and her daughter.


Clare Winterton is the Executive Director of the International Museum of Women.


The MAMA: Motherhood Around the Globe exhibition is available at http://mama.imow.org/

The Naked Face Project

At first glance, the name caught my attention, naked face project? What could this mean, aren't our faces always technically naked? Intrigued, after a little more digging I came to find out that the Naked Face Project embodies far more than a clean face. In fact for the next 60 days co-founders Caitlin Boyle and Molly Barker will be refraining from shaving, makeup and primping, meaning no haircuts, dye jobs, waxes!! Which begs the question, could you make it 60 days without engaging in either of these habits? The below post, by Caitlin, chronicles how the Naked Face Project came to be, I hope you find it as thought provoking and inspiring as I did :)

The Naked Face Project

Last season at Girls on the Run, I sat cross-legged in front of 15 little girls and held up an advertisement for women’s shaving cream. The ad showed the model’s disembodied legs up in the air, smooth and shiny. “What do you think this ad is trying to say?” I asked. The girls carefully studied the image, and then one piped up, “That we should buy that shaving cream because pretty girls shave their legs.”

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“That’s definitely the goal of the advertisement,” I replied. “Do you all think that women have to shave this legs?” Instantly, all of the girls squealed back, “YES,” clearly pleased that they had gotten the question ‘right’ on the first try. “Wait, wait, wait!” I said. “Women don’t have to shave their legs!” Fifteen pairs of eyeballs fixed on me like I was an idiot. “Yes, they do,” one girl said, pointing at my crossed legs. “You shave.”

“But I don’t have to,” I said slowly. “I shave because I want to. When you’re older, shaving is fun.” The girls all nodded, like what I had said was perfectly acceptable, but to be honest, I thought my response sounded completely fake. I started to shave when I was 11 because I wanted to be a ‘pretty girl’ and seem older and more attractive. Shaving isn’t fun – it’s a chore. Sometimes, I cut myself and bleed all over the bathtub. And I don’t continue to shave because I want to – I do it because it’s expected of me as a woman. That moment with the girls rolled around in my brain for weeks. Something about the exchange really nagged at me, but I couldn’t put my finger on what, exactly. After all, I had given the girls the politically correct answer – they don’t need to shave now, and if they don’t want to shave later, they don’t have to. But I knew that all fifteen girls would inevitably grow up and shave their legs. Because in our society, that is what women do.

About a month ago, I woke up after a horrible night’s sleep, stumbled into the shower, got out and dried off, and looked at my face in the mirror. And than I actually said out loud to my reflection: “Thank God for makeup.” I meant it, too. There’s no way I would’ve wanted to go out in public with my naked face that day. I had dark circles and a pimple on my chin. Without makeup on, I looked dead. But my remark caught my attention – Thank God for makeup? Like my naked face was really so horrible?

Like the vast majority of women, I wake up every day and engage in Beauty Habits designed to improve my outside appearance – I wear makeup nearly everywhere; I get my hair professionally cut and dyed hair (about $160 every three months!); I shave my armpits, bikini line, and legs; I get my eyebrows waxed (for $40 a month!); I do my nails; I wear uncomfortable clothing. In short, I spend a lot of time, energy, and money on ‘improving’ my looks (I’ll write more about this in the future, but I think a lot of this has to do with where I was raised).

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Suddenly, I remembered the shaving conversation at Girls on the Run and realized why it – and the makeup moment – had made me feel so uneasy. It all felt really… inauthentic. After all, my work with Operation Beautiful and my experiences with Girls on the Run is about being comfortable with yourself, embracing your inner beauty, and focusing on what really matters – who you are, not what you look like. Heck, I’ve written two books about this very topic, including one geared towards children (which is now available for pre-order!). I believe this message with every fiber in my body, but in my life, I don’t fully walk the walk. I don’t know if there is something inherently wrong or contradictory with my Beauty Habits, but I feel so dependent on the intention behind them, like if I don’t wear makeup or shave, I’m not a ‘real’ woman. It has gotten to the point that I am not sure why I do it at all – or who I am doing it for. And trust me, I don’t wear makeup, shave, pluck, and wax because it’s ‘fun.’

I recently had coffee with Molly Barker, the founder of Girls on the Run (you can read her Wikipedia page here), and I asked her, “What do you say when a little girl asks you why you wear makeup?” She replied, “I say because it’s fun.” I asked her if that was the truth, and she paused uncomfortably and admitted, “No, it’s because I feel like I have to wear makeup.” I felt so much relief that another woman who works in the same ‘field’ as I do experiences this strange contradiction, too. As we opened up to one another about this complex issue, Molly and I found the difference between what we preach and how we choose to act on a day-to-day basis troubling… so we decided to do something about it. And thus… The Naked Face Project was born.

1/29/12

“It’s a little-known fact that women were the original programmers of ENIAC, the US Government’s first ever computer. But while teenage girls now use computers and the Internet at rates similar to boys, they are five times less likely to consider a technology-related career,” the UN International Telecommunication Union (ITU) said in a news release.




In the past five years there has been a massive push towards increasing girls participation in STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) education and careers around the globe. So much so that STEM was the focus of last years' Commission on the Status of Women at the UN. As a result of the increased dialogue, a small shift has taken form that is quickly gaining speed and growing exponentially. No longer will there be a career untouched by woman, no longer will it be socially acceptable (any where in the world) for a career to be for men only. Girls in ICT is one of the driving forces behind this change.

The United Nations launched a new web portal focusing on helping girls and women access job opportunities, training, and career advice for those interested in pursuing technology careers. The website – girlsinict.org – is an inspiration for girls and women from around the globe. The designers are focusing on the age range of 11-25 to encourage girls to choose educational resources to align them with the highest potential for a career in the field. The website includes resources such as links to scholarships, internships, ICT contests and awards, tech camps and online networks where they can interact with women working in an industry. The language and tabs are user friendly and the slideshow of women working in the field covers every race, ethnicity, and nationality. The hope is that the currently male-dominated industry will shift towards a more equal gender split by encouraging girls and providing all possible resources to ensure success.

One of the main hurdles is changing the mentality that computer technology jobs are viewed by girls as being unfeminine, too challenging or just plain boring. However, the demand for these jobs worldwide is steadily increasing with not enough qualified individuals to fill the gap in the job market. "The European Union, for example, calculates that in 10 years there will be 700,000 more ICT jobs than there are professionals to fill them. Globally, that shortfall is estimated to be closer to two million."

“Research consistently shows that girls tend to choose careers where they feel they can ‘make a difference’ – healthcare, education, medicine. With this new portal, we’re trying to show them that there’s much more to ICTs than writing computer code,” said ITU Secretary-General Hamadoun Touré.

In order for this portal, mission, and vision at large to take hold and create a sustainable generational change, girls around the globe need to be supported beginning at primary school age to excel in the classroom. (Which also means that all girls must be given their right to attend school in the first place. As well as the right to access the resources to pursue a career of this nature - access to a computer, teacher, internet, classroom...) The truth is that women will not "fall" into these careers, they must be supported and encouraged - and that will require bold cultural changes on behalf of men and women.

1/27/12

"I like that about myself and I like myself and I have a lot of other great qualities as well."

Regardless of gender, I feel that the most important quality any person can have is loving one's self and being comfortable in one's skin. No two people are exactly alike in skin color, ethnicity, personality, or countless other traits. Every one of us is special, beautiful, and just plain freakin' awesome in our own way.

What is unfortunate in our society today is that we are conditioned to judge people who look, think, or act differently than what is considered "normal." But, I have a news flash: there is no such thing as "normal" (shocking, I know!). Subsequently, you are the only person nearly qualified enough to judge you.

As I wrote above, I think the best quality you can have is to love yourself and be comfortable in your own skin, no matter how different you are from what is considered "normal" these days. You will never fully live your life until you accept yourself for the amazing person that you are.

I am happy to share with you a series of two YouTube videos that many of you might have seen already, which star everybody's favorite anthropomorphic seashell, Marcel. In my opinion, Marcel the Shell perfectly encapsulates what it's like to love yourself, be comfortable in your own skin, and make the best of the cards you're dealt.



Be great today and every day.

1/25/12

Substance and Style

One of my most favorite things to do is read about people's lives and how they got to where they are today. I find it inspiring and also helpful when considering the future of my career.

So I came across these profiles on Elle.com of 10 of the most powerful women in Washington DC. A political person, I was pumped to read about these women and how they got to where they are. I read about two or three and found it a bit weird how it's substance, substance, substance, then all of a sudden, talking about shoes.

While I am all about shoes (I've used them as inspiration for one of my first blog posts, see here) and fashion (I have an automatic renewal on my Vogue subscription), the way these articles read seemed a bit, well, odd.

These profiles are being used to inaugurate the Style section of Elle.com, so I guess I should expect purses and shoes to intersect with drive and intellect.

Nonetheless, if you can get past the editing weirdness, you'll discover some pretty awesome women you don't get to hear about every day. Maybe some day, your profile will be included.

Click here to read.

Here's a sample profile:

Lovely & Amazing: The Women in DC Power List

For the inaugural of ELLE's new Style section, Lisa DePaulo interviews 10 of the capital’s shiniest stars


Linda Daschle: The Persuader

In a city where lobbyists are the lifeblood (and often considered ruthless), Daschle stands out not only for commitment to her job—when her husband, Tom Daschle, the former Senate majority leader, was in power, she fiercely hung on to her career—but also for her extracurricular activities. While she’s best known as the top woman lobbyist in DC (representing the mighty airline industry; one of her first jobs, before being crowned Miss Kansas, was as an FAA weather watcher), Beltway locals love her for the tireless work she does for the Ford Theatre and the N Street Settlement House (for abused women), among other causes. “My wife has a special place in her heart for women who have had to struggle to survive and have not had many breaks in life,” Tom Daschle says. As for the Miss Kansas thing, she played the piano. Well.

Why she’s devoted to N Street Village, a shelter for abused or addicted women and their children: “It’s one of those miracle places that help women get their lives back, and when I was introduced to it fourteen years ago and met some of these women, it was one of those moments when I said, No matter how busy I am. . .’ But my relationship with them actually started with a horrible tragedy. In my own family. I had a grandmother who was murdered. And this happened in rural Oklahoma. You would never ever think someone who just lived on her farm would ever, you know, meet such a tragic end of life . . . It was a migrant worker; we don’t know why. This was a way that I thought I could honor my grandmother.”

Why she’s equally devoted to the National Organization on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome: Kevin Costner! When Costner made Dances with Wolves in South Dakota (her husband Tom’s home state), he found out about the devastation caused by fetal alcohol syndrome. “No one really was paying attention to this issue, so Tom and Kevin” started the organization, Linda says.

How she got from Oklahoma to Washington: She lived in 10 small towns in Oklahoma, then in Kansas. (Her father was a minister, “so we moved a lot.”) Then she was crowned Miss Kansas in 1976 and sent to the Miss America pageant …

Who she lost to: “Ugh, now we’re going back 34…we actually don’t touch that anymore. It’s kinda like…” The statute of limitations has expired? Right, “I have not watched the pageant for years and years and it’s kind of hard for me to believe I was ever associated, or—I don’t want to say it that way because for a young woman, I mean, from Kansas, it truly was a great experience for me and I gained a lot, you know, whether it was self-confidence or whatever. But it was Dorothy Benham.”

What she wanted to be when she grew up: “An air traffic controller. That was what my career goal was when I competed in the pageant, which I think the judges thought was a little kooky."

Her first job in the aviation industry (before becoming its top lobbyist): A weather watcher for the FAA. “Every hour I took weather measurements to determine precipitation, what the winds were. And all the information was put in a report and sent out to pilots.” (This was pre-modern computers.)

On being a lobbyist: “People think it’s all just running to Capitol Hill and getting an earmark.”

It’s not?!: “Right now my passion is to get GPS-like capabilities in the cockpit. If the Prius can have GPS, I don’t understand why a commercial aircraft can’t.” They don’t already? “Well, I don’t want to oversimplify it, but ours is much more sophisticated and much more precise. And it’s interactive, because we’re still going to have a live air traffic controller at the other end, communicating with the pilots.” Not that woman’s voice? “Oh no.”

Her personal style: Her daughter in law Jill Daschle describes it as part Jackie Kennedy, part Grace Kelly, all refined elegance. “For me, nothing is better than just a great dress and a pair of pumps,” Linda says. “And that’s it. I don’t know how you define classic Washington. But I would say my style runs probably a little bit more classic. I recently saw a bunch of old pictures of Grace Kelly, and I thought, I could wear every one of those.”

Where she shops in DC: Nieman’s, Saks, Nordstrom’s (“since it expanded”). “But I also don’t mind at all a Banana Republic or a J. Crew.”

Her signature: Black patent pumps.

Single Women Targeted By Citibank And Honda Ads

Interesting article about some recent comercials:

The Huffington Post Katherine Bindley
First Posted: 01/24/2012 9:13 am Updated: 01/24/2012 11:44 am

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/23/single-women-citibank-honda_n_1224780.html?ref=women

If you've watched primetime network TV in the last month or so, you might have come across a commercial for Citibank's "ThankYou Points," a rewards program for its credit card users. It's the one where you see a female rock climber scaling an insanely narrow and jagged rock formation. She plants her feet and stands alone at the top as her boyfriend smiles up at her from far below. Over the course of the ad, she explains,

"My boyfriend and I were going on vacation. We talked about getting a diamond, but with all the ThankYou Points I've been earning, I flew us to the rock I really had in mind."

Or perhaps you caught a similarly themed Honda CRV commercial, also airing this month, that begins with a woman being proposed to in the street. Her answer is, "Married? There were so many things I was going to do first." A montage of her "leap list" -- a list of things one intends to do before a major life milestone -- flashes in her head. "Okay," she eventually tells the man who proposed, "but we have a lot to get done first."

When the Citibank ad came out, it generated so much buzz on the Internet (Was the stunt real? Where was that incredible rock formation? And who was the hot actress?) that CNN did a segment on it. (Yes, it was real, filmed near Moab, Utah, and that's Katie Brown, a top professional climber who began competing as a teenager.)

The New York Times ran a whole article about how the CRV campaign is an example of marketers appealing to the ambitions of consumers in their 20s and 30s. Joe Baratelli, an advertising executive with RPA, said the ad reflects "the life change, the life transition, that Generation Y is going through."

What neither CNN nor the Times noted was the more surprising aspect of these ads: Both show young, attractive women not jumping at the chance to get engaged. The news outlets also failed to mention that these commercials came out just a few months after Kate Bolick's Atlantic Monthly cover article "All the Single Ladies," about women choosing to delay marriage and the stigma against single women fading, and virtually simultaneous to Janelle Nanos' January 2012 Boston Magazine cover story, "Single By Choice," which covered the rise of lifelong singlehood in both men and women.

At first glance, the journalists seem to have seized on what wasn't really news: As Hanna Rosin pointed out in "The End of Men," her 2010 Atlantic cover story, young, single women are more reproductively and financially independent than ever before. In February of 2010, female payroll employees outnumbered their male counterparts nationwide for the first time ever, according to a Labor Department report. A 2010 study by Reach Advisors, a strategy firm that analyzed data from the Census Bureau's American Community Survey, found that in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in the U.S, unmarried, childless women under 30 out-earned men by 8 percent on average. In some places the gap was even more striking; in New York City and San Diego, the study showed, women in their 20s were making 17 percent, and 15 percent more, respectively.

What gave this story new legs was a report released by the Pew Research Center in December of 2011 showing that U.S. marriage rates are at an all time low, and that women who are getting married are doing so later in life.

If the 2010 data showed that single women are working and earning more, the recent marriage data showed how many single women there are -- and that their numbers are likely to multiply in coming years.

The creators of the Citibank and CRV commercials seem to have come to that second conclusion even before the recent marriage data came out. The new commercials sell women the cars and financial products they can now afford by presenting those big ticket items as tools for celebrating their independence rather than attracting a husband.

What's slightly confusing about the Honda CRV campaign, however, is that it has aired during episodes of "The Bachelor" (in addition to the product appearing on the show). It seems paradoxical at first, pairing a campaign targeted at women delaying marriage with a show where women clamor for the chance to marry a man within hours of meeting him.

But as Emma Gray recently pointed out on The Huffington Post, smart, educated women who aren't desperate to get married love "The Bachelor." And if the 2010 Census survey is any indication, lots of those smart women must are likely to have degrees and high-earning jobs. In other words, Honda is reaching its target audience in precisely the right place.

As up to the moment as the Honda and Citibank ads seem, it's worth remembering that they had a very successful precursor. An award-winning 2003 De Beers campaign targeted the high-income 35+ single woman by informing her that she didn't need a man to buy her a solitaire -- she could purchase one on her own and even wear it on her ring finger -- the right one. "Ladies, raise your right hands," went the tagline. That campaign appealed to plenty of single women: in the year following, De Beers saw its non-bridal diamond sales increase by 15 percent.

Citibank and Honda's messages are more subtle, so it remains to be seen whether they'll be as successful as De Beers with the newest batch of single ladies. What do you think? And have you seen any similar ads that we missed?

1/22/12

Is there a place for sex in politics?

As women and inherently political women at that we must be attentive to how our rights are questioned and sadly violated.

We all remember the recent Herman Cain scandal, but was he really unseated because of his poor-track record in his personal life, or because his personal life made him an untrustworthy candidate to be President (as well as his lack of political know-how).

At a recent debate Michelle Bachman was asked: “As president would you be submissive to your husband?” Again, are we trying to unearth some personal flaw or identify an inherent weakness that would have made her ineffective as a could-have-been potential President? It seems that when the question was posed, she had already made so many comments that negatively affected her campaign that Presidency was a far-fetched reality and the question was merely to hinder her personal gains.

At the recent South Carolina Presidential Debate, Newt Gingrich was the target for questioning personal relationships. The moderator posed the question about Gingrich’s marital relations and lack there of. The question originally steamed from the understanding that in the 90’s Gingrich himself was having an affair while he was admittedly staking grounds against President Clinton for his affair (Even then many questioned why the media cared so much about personal sexual relationships). During the debate, his response was that answering the question served no political gain. As stated by Rachel Maddow: “There is nothing inherently news worthy about someone’s sex life, marriage, former relationships, or private sexual behavior. It is not inherently news worthy…” Granted the point for asking the question in the first place is not to discover if Gingrich is a bad husband, for that – no one cares. However, if using his personal life and personal values to identify if he is a “hypocritical family political” would highlight intricacies that would be vital in the political realm. For example, in regards to his position on instating a same sex ban, Maddow posed the question: “How can you justify passing government judgment on other peoples marriages when your own marriage is the kind of ethical mess that was described by your second wife on ABC news today?”

The Political Debates have become their own form of reality television show with affairs, zingers, and tears. However, these are the Republican candidates that are vying for the opportunity to unseat President Obama and dictate our future. We, the tv watchers of America, need to begin to question the importance of these questions. Is putting a candidates’ sexual past on display at a public debate for the sake of our entertainment, or are we truly unearthing necessary values that will affect their political campaign?

1/20/12

“A friend of mine has a trophy wife, but apparently it wasn't first place.”

(quote by Steven Wright)



Every so often, thanks to certain anonymous individuals who I love, I get roped into watching various incarnations of the “Real Housewives” reality TV series on the Bravo network. Let me tell you, despite the half-hour length of each episode, it really feels like I’m sitting there forever. When I watch one of these shows, I feel as though they are the absolute bane of my existence.

Let me be clear: I have no deep-seated qualms with movies, TV shows, and other forms of media that are generally regarded as for women just because they’re targeted to women. By virtue of having had girlfriends, I have seen my fair share of “chick flicks,” and I can honestly say that there are more than a couple of these that I have come away from liking very much. My problem with “Real Housewives” includes the sheer fakeness of everything in that show. Sure it’s called “reality TV,” but I think the only reason it deserves that label is because the people in it exist. In fact, I was a little bit disappointed to learn last year that one of the “real housewives” is from my hometown of Berlin, CT, who thankfully was overshadowed by the young actor (and my former high school tennis teammate) Austin Stowell, also from Berlin.

It seems to me that everything these women do on the show is part of a carefully controlled plan to have the perfect life. The only problem is, there’s really no such thing in my opinion. Even if there was, I highly doubt it would consist of being overly catty, dramatic, superficial, and submissive to sexist and unattainable gender roles such as being a trophy wife. I think it gives a bad name to women that these “real housewives” are watched (and legitimately enjoyed) by countless individuals. Even worse still, I’m sure tons of young girls in this country watch and get what I feel is the wrong idea about women.

I must clarify that my brand of feminism definitely leaves room for women to be free to choose how they want to live their lives. Because of this, I have no problem with the show existing in and of itself, nor do I have a problem with their choices to partake in this sort of lifestyle. However, in line with the theme of some of my past blog entries, my biggest point is simply to be aware that the choice exists for all women to be either a professional trophy wife with no other real purpose, or something more.

1/18/12

Beyond Tebowmania: Giving Women a Choice

Beyond Tebowmania: Giving Women a Choice


To the Editor:

In “He’s a Quarterback, He’s a Winner, He’s a TV Draw, He’s a Verb” (This Land column, front page, Jan. 14), Dan Barry writes about a 2010 Super Bowl commercial telling how Tim Tebow’s mother decided not to end a life-threatening pregnancy and he adds, “There was no tebowing that week in the halls of Planned Parenthood.”

That suggests that Planned Parenthood does not celebrate birth or a remarkable story like Mr. Tebow’s. In fact, the Tebow story exemplifies the health care environment that Planned Parenthood promotes — a world in which women and families are supported in the medical decisions they make for themselves and their families without government interference.

As a mother of three, I can attest that pregnancy can be a precious time in a woman’s life. But there are many stories of women around the world who did not have a choice, did not have a miraculous outcome, and lost their lives for lack of access and care. Planned Parenthood exists to give those women the chance to lead the wonderful lives they might not otherwise have.

One in five women in America have relied on Planned Parenthood for health care, and that includes women of all faiths and political backgrounds.

Planned Parenthood is not about judging women — their decisions or their faith — but caring for them.

CECILE RICHARDS
President, Planned Parenthood Federation of America
New York, Jan. 15, 2012

Fear for the Women of Afghanistan

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/peggy-drexler/fear-for-the-women-of-afg_b_1210190.html?ref=women

Posted: 1/17/12 09:35 AM ET

As the United States begins to tidy up its affairs in Afghanistan, I have a bad feeling about the women we'll leave behind.

We're already confronted with reports -- and horrific images -- of attacks on women and girls: noses and ears sliced off, acid-ravaged faces, beatings, whippings, honor killings. Just this month comes the story of 15-year-old Sahar Gul, tortured in a basement for months by her new husband and in-laws, apparently because she refused to become a prostitute.

Injuries and mutilations that shocked even the battle-hardened military surgeons are punishments for any number of affronts to patriarchal sensibilities -- from fleeing an abusive husband to refusing a forced marriage to pursuing an education.

If these outrages continue to happen while we're there, what happens when we're not?
The brutalities that rivet world attention for a news cycle or two are extreme examples of a wide and ongoing problem. The rights organization Oxfam International reports that 87 percent of Afghan women have experienced physical, sexual or psychological violence, as well as forced marriage, which Amnesty International says account for 80 percent of all marriages. According to the UK-based charity, Womankind, more than half of all girls married are not yet 16.
The threat-level for females is elevated by a government that is pursuing a policy of reconciliation by courting of the same Taliban that waged a campaign of gender apartheid. President Hamid Karzai now calls them "our upset brothers."

There are early indications that the government -- even without the Taliban under roof -- is uprooting the tendrils of progress of the past ten years.

The new constitution may guarantee the rights of women. But it also says nothing can contradict the principles of Islamic law -- which is undefined and open to interpretation by whoever happens to be in power.

Abdul Hadi Arghandiwal, leader of the ideologically conservative Hizb-i-Islami faction, believes that women and men should not attend the same universities, and that women should not leave the home unless in the company of a male relative. A Time Magazine article quotes his feelings: "What we want in Afghanistan is Islamic rights, not Western rights." He also happens to be the Minister of the Economy.

Recently passed by a Parliament we hoped would enforce constitutional protections is a law that allows husbands to withhold money and food from wives who refuse sex, limits female inheritance, curtails female custody in divorce, and denies women freedom of movement unless sanctioned by their families. The mandated 25 percent of Parliament seats held by women could do nothing to stop it -- in part because many of the 68 women vote with the men who put them in power.

There are those who say that none of this means the days of wanton Taliban brutality and repression will return. The world is now watching.

As we toss the keys to a government duct taped together out of parts of convenience and already limiting female freedoms -- suppose the all-out cultural attack on women resumes. What exactly could the world do other than watch? Perhaps a strongly worded statement.

Women could be beaten in the streets on live TV, and their suffering would never give cause to a return to the $300 million America spends every day in Afghanistan not to mention the prospect of losing more American lives.

Recent history is a lesson in the relativity of women's rights. Russia's occupation was ugly. But life for women under the Communist government was a modern high point. Reforms provided real political roles, economic opportunity and social freedoms greater than women have today.
All of that was swept away by the Taliban in the five short years between 1996 and 2001. Then it was restored piecemeal by Western occupation and investment over the past ten.

The clear lesson is that the safety and dignity of the country's women are hostage to the beliefs of the men who carry the guns. We saw in Vietnam and, possibly in Iraq, the convenient futility of propping up a government and its military just long enough to get out of town. As we pack up our guns and go, who and what will pick up the ones we leave behind?

It's possible that guarantees for women in the Afghan constitution will withstand the power vacuum in the wake of our departure. It's possible that the Taliban as part of the government will think differently than the one that brutally repressed human rights, and was perfectly happy to sacrifice health, economy and modernity in the name of purity. It's possible that the new government will be strong enough -- and the army loyal enough -- to allow the Taliban to join the government without consuming it.

For the sake of the long-suffering Afghan woman, let's hope that all comes to pass -- because there is little we can do but watch in horror if it doesn't.

1/17/12

'The Bachelor': Love it or Hate It?

While I don't watch ' The Bachelor', I am addicted to a few shows that I deny watching in conversations with just about everyone! I have asked myself, out loud at times, "why am I even watching this?" Yet every week I am back watching, drawn to the crazy, unrealistic drama that ensues before me. The below article takes a stab at trying to explain why women watch shows that we know consist of far more drama than real life scenarios.....


'The Bachelor': Why Smart Women Watch (and Love) It

Emma Gray, Assistant Editor, HuffPost Women & HuffPost Parents

Confession time: I watched "The Bachelor" ... and I liked it. I've been hopelessly and unfortunately trapped in the series' web of tears, overly-earnest declarations of love and tacky dresses -- and I'm far from alone.

I'm a relatively new devotee to this cultural phenomenon, which first hit the small screen in 2002, and has spanned spin-offs "The Bachelorette" (2003) and "Bachelor Pad" (2010). After avoiding the franchise successfully for nine years, I was invited to a viewing party by some women that I worked with during Ashley Hebert's season of "The Bachelorette," last May. I was officially hooked, following Ashley through her engagement to JP Rosenbaum, watching all 18 "Bachelor Pad" contestants simultaneously self-destruct and now I'm knee deep in white wine tears on "The Bachelor" -- despite the glaring fact that each of the three series is objectively horrendous. (If you look up "trash television" in the dictionary, you'll probably find former contestant Jake Pavelka's beady eyes staring back at you.)

Most of my peers have a love-hate relationship with "The Bachelor" -- specifically, we hate that we love it. The underlying messages of the show are beyond terrible. We're essentially told that all women in their twenties should be desperately searching for a man to marry (most of the 30-something bachelorettes are portrayed as a particular breed of desperate), and that women are, in general, complete and utter nutjobs (see Melissa Schreiber, Vienna Girardi and of course blogger Jenna Burke). Although, of course, this only applies to white women, as people of color rarely -- if ever -- get cast. Every single one of this season's 25 finalists is white ... or spray tan orange.

Yet even knowing all of these things, season after season, droves of intelligent, successful women come back to ABC and host Chris Harrison for more. In the words of "Brokeback Mountain's" Jack: "I just can't quit you." So why do we do it to ourselves? Is it just pure masochism, or is there something else at play?

Everyone Loves A Good Train Wreck
I'm not proud of this, but there's just something inherently appealing about watching a human being get too drunk, burst into fake tears, and generally embody the term "hot mess." I think it's probably related to the morbid curiosity that impels people to slow down in the middle of the interstate to get a good long look. Watching the women of "The Bachelor" cry in bathroom stalls, discuss their burgeoning careers as VIP cocktail waitresses and dental consultants, and threaten to physically harm each other over a man they barely know, is alternately horrifying and captivating.

It's A Safe Outlet For Our Frustrations
Mondays are hard. Maybe you had a terrible weekend and are still feeling a little under the weather, maybe you had a crappy day at work, maybe your roommate is getting on your nerves or maybe you're just pissed off for no reason at all. Want a safe way to let out your anger without being hurtful to your loved ones? Enter "The Bachelor."

Last week I attended a "Bachelor"-viewing party (aka six women in a room drinking wine and ordering Indian food). Most of the women I've spoken with who watch the show also tend to watch with their female friends. "It's a bonding experience!" said my co-worker, Amanda. "My favorite thing about watching 'The Bachelor' is being able to talk about all the drama with friends during and after the episode." This bonding experience primarily consists of critiquing the contestants' outfits (far too many, too-tight, cut-out dresses), words (how many times in a two-hour period can key phrases "genuine," "journey," "real love" and "connection" be used?), and actions (so many tears and so much backstabbing).

Let me emphasize that most of the women I know are kind and thoughtful people who go out of their way to compliment their female friends, and are very hesitant to talk about other women behind their backs. But we all seem to have come to a tacit agreement that the fact that Ben Flajnik's prospects put themselves on national television makes them fair game. Former finalist Michelle Money, even admitted on "Ellen," "I think anyone is crazy who voluntarily goes on 'The Bachelor.'" Plus -- the women on the show are 10 times more awful to each other than we could ever be as viewers ("bitch," "slut," "clinger" and "cougar" are only a selection of names that the finalists threw at one another during the Jan. 9 episode). And lest you think that Bachelor Ben got off easy, he got his fair share of criticism as well. "He has a dumb-looking face," muttered a friend of mine as he came on-screen.

"Bachelor" Love Is So Fake (And Warped) That It Makes Us Grateful For The (Oft-Painful) Real Thing
Although most educated adults realize by now that "reality" television is highly constructed, that idea has never been more obvious than on a show that manufactures "true love." (My co-worker Jess even commented that "The Bachelor" was far less realistic than "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" -- and that says a lot.) In what world are we supposed to believe that 25 random girls would all fall madly in love with one dopey dude (and in a matter of hours)?

While it's fun to watch all of the uber-cheesy, romance-laden dates unfold on television, the reality of sitting in an empty theater with a practical stranger watching my old baby videos (an actual date that occurred on last week's episode) sounds more uncomfortable than anything. Watching makes us glad we date off-screen, in a world where we will never meet a man by riding in on a white horse or get dumped on a glacier.

We also get to revel in the fact that none of us would go to such lengths to impress a man. Tell another woman you'll cut her face off? Nope. Leave your PhD program to move across the country to a small town? Not even if Ryan Gosling showed up in a limo holding a boom box over his head with two dozen roses and said "You're the one." (Well, maybe for Ryan Gosling ...)

Plus, if there were ever a reason to fully let go of the Prince Charming fantasy that shows like "The Bachelor" attempt to play upon, just look at the numbers. Of all of the couples "magically" brought together on the franchise, only three are still together -- one being Ashley and JP who have yet to reach the year mark of their engagement. Most of us would rather brave the uncomfortable waters of meeting people in bars, through friends or on OKCupid than cut down other women on national television, or snag a man and then be publicly dumped -- details of the whole messy affair splashed across the tabloids.

So instead of taking "The Bachelor" franchise too seriously or using it as any kind of model for our own conduct, we take from it exactly what it can give us -- an escape from our daily lives, a reason to appreciate our real, imperfect romances, and an excuse to drink wine on a Monday night ... sans tears.

1/15/12

The Worth of a Girl-Child




Worldwide, there is a collective movement to promote activism and advocacy for girl’s rights to education. Internationally, this tends to be an argument focused by developed countries on developing countries. However, there are girls living in poverty and denied access to education in every country worldwide. Additionally, the Convention on the Rights of the Child which promises girls the right to access quality education is notably not ratified by the United States of America; arguably the most vocal of the first world countries. Around the globe, girls are not able to overcome the barriers of poverty to consistently complete primary and secondary education. The economic constraints of poverty on families create situations that remove girls from education prior to completing secondary education. If the family is provided economic support to alleviate aspects of poverty that are directly correlated to the girls’ enrollment in school, there will be an increased period of attendance. The net gains include, but are not limited to, higher attendance rates, older age for marriage and maternity, decreased infant mortality, decreased HIV/AIDS, increased literacy and livelihood, and decreased generational poverty. The desired outcome is universal integration of a universal stipend program, which has been successfully implemented in several countries.

Girls are the best indicator of poverty as they are the most marginalized population, as such it is through the plight of girls that the global community has realized that poverty prohibits educational attainment. Access to education enables growth physically, mentally, and socially in ways that cannot be met through other avenues. The United Nations and participating State parties have nearly reached consensus to protect and work towards universal education as explicitly stated under the Convention on the Rights of the Child Article 28 paragraph 1 section (a): “Make primary education compulsory and available free to all. (OHCHR, 1989)”. While education is a right, it is not addressed under one universal mandate. The girl child needs the support of each government to commit to change policies to improve the educational system by addressing poverty.

A wide variety of global statistics display the plight and insurmountable barriers impeding girls from achieving their right to an education. It is estimated that 54% of the 72 million children out of school are girls (EFA Global Monitoring Report, 2010). While some communities need support for both sexes to attend school, gender parity would cut the number of girls out of school by over 6 million. In countless countries, girls that have not shown potential to their guardians by the time they complete primary education are pulled from school to work or marry. In sub-Saharan Africa, almost 12 million girls may never enroll in school. In Yemen, nearly 80% of girls out of school are unlikely ever to enroll, compared with 36% of boys. Turkey faces cultural barriers in addition to poverty that prevents 43% of Kurdish-speaking girls from receiving more than two years of education. Similarly, 97% of Hausa-speaking Nigerian girls from impoverished homes have less than two years’ education. As of 2006. Pakistani girls accounted for 60% of out-of school children (Global Campaign for Education, 2010).

It is not frivolous to invest in girls when it is proven that educated women are more influential to their communities. Illiteracy is directly correlated to unemployment, in addressing issues of unemployment worldwide, two thirds of the 759 million adults that are illiterate are women. Women aged 25-34 in Bangladesh have illiteracy rates 32% higher than men in the same age group. In Afghanistan, 87% of women were illiterate in 2000. In Chad, Ethiopia and Mali, women are 1.5 times more likely than men to be illiterate. In Iran, unemployment rates among women aged 20 to 24 are twice the level of men the same age group (Global Campaign for Education, 2010). Millions of women that are not living to their fullest potential and cannot contribute their optimum amount to their community. Learning needs to start with children to improve the lives of adults, and it is our responsibility to provide the tools for success.

Several countries have implemented local and federal policies that have improved girl’s access to education. Established federally in 2003, Brazil established Bolsa Familia, also referred to as Bolsa Escola or the family grant. This federal welfare program provides financial aid to families living in poverty with children of age to attend primary or secondary education on the condition children have consistent attendance in school and are up to date on vaccines.
Similarly, Mexico established Oportunidades, a program that provides a cash transfer directly to families living in poverty with children. The funds are to be used to supplement the cost of food, vaccines, and dietary needs. By 2006, the program was responsible for aiding one-quarter of Mexico’s population. Bangladesh established the Food for Education Program in 1993 which targeted the enrollment rate and consistent attendance of children. The program provided landless and very poor children with a monthly allocation of wheat or rice for their family for regular attendance. In addition, the Primary Education Stipend Program introduced bank-mediated disbursement procedures fit to cover over 5.5 million students (Tietjen, 2003).

It is a priority of the United Nation’s mission to promote academic programs addressing girl’s rights to access primary and secondary education for it is directly correlated to all eight Millennium Development Goals. Within the MDGs is goal number two, achievement of universal primary education. Mr. Anthony Lake, executive director of UNICEF, stated that “Universal primary education cannot be achieved without extending schooling to those currently excluded, the poorest and the most marginalized children (UNICEF, 2010).” Expenditure by the state party to appropriately implement the policy is reliant on true and thorough assessment and allocation of an appropriate budget based on analysis of poverty specific to the country. There is a positive correlation between supporting school attendance and successful employment. Education should be geared to the development of potential and to equipping the individual with skills needed for employment. Decent work and supportive income are the best means for enabling families to move out of poverty. Girls are young women who will grow up to be mothers of children, and leaders of the community, corporations, and countries. It is our right as adults, caretakers, educators, government officials, presidents, and friends to help girls develop to their full potential. Girls who are not counted do not count. It is our duty to account for every girl.

If you are dedicated to the rights of women and children and can get to New York, come to the Commission on the Status of Women



References
Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights (OHCHR) (1989) Convention on the Rights of the Child. Retrieved from: http://www2.ohchr.org/english/law/crc.htm

Duffy, G. (25 May 2010) Family friendly: Brazil's scheme to tackle poverty. BBC News. Education for All Global Monitoring Report. (2010) reaching the marginalized. Retrieved from: http://www.unesco.org/en/efareport/reports/2010-marginalization/

Global Campaign for Education. (2010). Today is international women’s day: Facts & Figures. Retrieved from: http://www.campaignforeducation.org/en/today-is-international-womens-day

Khandker, S., M. Pitt and N. Fuwa, The World Bank (March 2003). Subsidy to Promote Girls’ Secondary Education: The Female Stipend Program in Bangladesh. Retrieved from: http://www.h.chiba-u.ac.jp/mkt/revised%20fssap%20paper9b.pdf

Tietjen, K. 2003. “The Bangladesh Primary Education Stipend Project: A Descriptive Analysis. Retrieved from: http://siteresources.worldbank.org/EDUCATION/Resources/278200-1099079877269/547664-1099080014368/BangladeshStipend.pdf

United Nations (n.d.) We can end poverty 2015 Millennium Development Goals; A gateway to the UN system’s work on the MDGs. Retrieved from: http://www.un.org/millenniumgoals/bkgd.shtml

UNICEF (7 September 2010) Focus on world’s disadvantaged children can save millions of lives. Retrieved from: http://www.un.org/apps/news/story.asp?NewsID=35832&Cr=UNICEF&Cr1=

World Bank. (November 2002) Bangladesh, improving governance for reducing poverty. Retrieved from: http://library.bracu.ac.bd/cgi-bin/koha/opac-detail.pl?biblionumber=5381&shelfbrowse_itemnumber=5242

World Bank (n.d.) Shanghai Poverty Conference: Case Study Summary. Mexico’s Oportunidades Program. Retrieved from: http://info.worldbank.org/etools/docs/reducingpoverty/case/119/summary/MexicoOportunidades%20Summary.pdf

** re-cited/formatted from academic posting at IASSW

Spit on a Stranger: A New Rosa Parks

When you think of Israel what do you think of? Probably something about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. One would think that one conflict was enough - but no, apparently we all just can't get along. Right now, the conflict is actually between the secular and religious Israelis west of Jerusalem in a small town called Beit Shemesh. The town is primarily Jewish and hosts a population of more than 80,000 residents nearly equal male/female.

In late December, Haredi (ultra-Orthodox) men began protesting gender equality. One of the first reports was that of a eight year old girl who was spit on by an religious zealot man. "Eight-year-old Naama Margolis was recently featured on Israel’s most-watched news program because she was too afraid to walk to school her Orthodox neighborhood after Haredi men spit and cursed at her for dressing immodestly, in their view." Her plight was shortly followed by a woman now referred to as the 'Rosa Parks of Israel' who was reprimanded to sit in the back of the bus; she refused. In the following days, a woman in military uniform was called a 'Shicksa' and other vulgar names in Yiddish by a Orthodox man when riding the bus. The woman was standing in close proximity to the men and the uniform was apparently deemed immodest clothing for a woman to wear in public. Incidents have been flaring in the town as Haredi men act out against women who they feel are acting and dressing immodest to the extent that they will not allow for women to walk on the same side of the road. Hey Americans, Sound familiar?

Well, the international community has stepped up support for women. Aish HaTorah, a Orthodox pro-Israel organization, posted an anonymous letter titled "How Dare You?" specifically directed at the 'Beit Shemesh Spitter'.

The conversation has turned towards solutions. Netanyahu proposed divding the town between the secular and the zealots. While this is a contested option, it will be the women who will create the necessary change, not the Mayor - no offense sir. The women in Beit Shemesh are not sitting idly by. Since the first incident, women have been tactfully using their voice to advocate for their rights. Not only have there been daily reports to the media, letters to the editor, but 250 women participated in a flashmob to Queen's 'Don't Stop me Now'. Other protests have been coordinated over the past three weeks. While the men's riots against women's equality have resulted in arrests, the women's outcry of inequality has received positive international publicity. Thus, it will be the women of Beit Shemesh, and all of Israel, coming together regardless of religious affiliation, location, or age advocating for their right to equality that will Speak Out and create change.


1/11/12

Can Social Media Empower Arab Women?

Will there be a revolution in Arab women rights after the Arab Spring? Perhaps social media will help?


by Julie Tomlin
1.10.12



After a year when popular movements swept across the Arab world, it's maybe not surprising that the number of people using Facebook and Twitter in the region has shot up.

There were 36,016,664 Facebook users in Arab countries by November 2011 - almost double the number in the same month in 2010 and over 652,000 people were signed up to Twitter, according to a new report published by the Dubai School of Government late last year.

But despite the prominence of women during the Arab Spring, both in the protests and in online activism, one social media statistic remained unchanged; men in the Arab world remain twice as likely to use social media than women, who still only made up just over 33 per cent of users in the Arab world. Worldwide, they make up half of all social media users.

There was a strong belief among the women who took part that social media could enhance women's participation in economic, political life, allowing them increased self-expression and the means of promoting social change.

Those Arab women who use social media are certainly part of a broader shift that has taken place in how it is used, according to the report. In the past year, social media has become more than a tool for social networking and entertainment, it "now infiltrates almost every aspect of the daily lives of millions of Arabs, affecting the way they interact socially, do business, interact with government, or engage in civil society movements".

Most men and women in the Arab world primarily use social media to access information and connect with people, but 60% of all those who took part said they used it for community and political activism.

Marginally more men than women believed that social media promoted political equality between the sexes, although women were slightly more optimistic that the tools would make it easier for them to express themselves, enable them to participate in civil society and be role models for social change, and improve their rights and economic status.

But the "real life" social and cultural barriers women face will have to be overcome if more women are going to participate in social media and see it impact their lives, the report concludes.

Some of the barriers women face such as ICT literacy, confidence in using social media for communication and lack of education could be overcome by practical measures including training.

But the most significant barriers are the social constraints women face in everyday life, the report says. Some women pointed out that reliance on social media alone was not enough to challenge discriminatory attitudes and practices:

"I believe the Arab women should not depend on the social media cover to express their opinion or produce role models, it starts out in the interaction with the people not behind the screen," one respondent said.

Two examples show how for some women, social media is so embedded in their lives that they use it seamlessly in their campaigns:

Egypt-based Harassmap, launched in 2010 to raise awareness of and tackle sexual harassment. The group initiated a day of blogging and tweeting against sexual harassment last year using the hashtag #endsh and also launched an initiative against sexual harassment for a safe Eid holiday in August and a 'catch a harasser' day on 2 November.

In Saudi Arabia, Women2Drive, a campaign launched by Manal Al Sharif calling for women's right to drive attracted worldwide support.

Both of these projects also show there is a balance to be struck - none of them focus solely on raising awareness, or communicating online. They recognise the importance of physical actions such as taking to the streets or getting in the driving seat of a car and of speaking out against practices that have long been held taboo.


Upcoming Event: The Thick Chronicles: A Body Image Story

This event about body image looks like it will be great!

Saturday, January 28 @ 8:00 p.m.
Sunday, January 29 @ 5:00 p.m.

Trinty-On-Main
69 Main Street
New Britain, CT

Tickets:
$15 for adults 18 & older
$10 for students with school ID and children under 13

Event website click here
Founder: Tracy "Mind.Evolution." Caldwell
Co-Creator: Alison McMeans
Co-Creator/Director: Shireal Renee

Hosted by: Lynnette Johnson

HARTFORD, CT- Brighter Than Before Entertainment of Hartford presents its second run of The Thick Chronicles: A Body Image Story at Trinity-On-Main on Saturday, January 28th and Sunday, January 29th. The show is a collection of poems, skits and first person accounts of people's love/hate relationship with their bodies told through poignant and humorous stories. The ensemble cast of men and women features actors, poets and members of the community from the areas of Hartford, New Haven and Springfield. Each piece gives voice to the inner struggle that all people have with self-esteem and self-acceptance, flaws and all. The goal of the show isn’t just to entertain, but also to inform and empower.

1/6/12

I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me

There are things as a man that I will never fully understand about women. Aside from the obvious like childbirth and Tupperware parties, I’ll never fully understand what it’s like to be a woman out alone. I observe it all the time from the outside, however. One time when I was golfing, a young woman was jogging down the adjacent road and a man in a car was just casually driving at her speed talking to her through the open window, which from my perspective was totally creepy and pretty much gave me the heebie-jeebies.

That really got me to thinking how strange and creepy the world can be, especially relating to my sister who lives on her own in a city. She has to travel by herself across the city to and from her job every day. If I had to do that, it would probably be more of a minor annoyance than anything else. However, her necessary steps included acquiring pepper spray, speaking to a police officer to find the safest route, and upgrading to a smartphone just for the GPS feature. Add to all this that she’s only five feet tall and good-looking, and she’s definitely a prime target for creepy guys to prey on. (The joke’s on the creepy guys though, since she’s a personal trainer, basically works out for a living, and once defeated the men she works with in a pushup contest.)

This isn’t to say that men don’t need to worry walking around cities and parking lots by themselves, but it’s just such a strange phenomenon to me that women have so much more to worry about. I can attest that sometimes men think with things other than their brains, and it’s often difficult not to look for more than a second or two when a pretty girl walks by. Now, I don’t know the severity of this issue, but I definitely find it concerning that it has to be an issue. Point being, I think it stinks that women have to deal with walking around with a near-constant sense of being watched, and I give women all the credit in the world for it.

1/5/12

Being the Entrepreneur of Your Career

I thought this would apply to everyone-- after all, we are entrepreneurs of our own careers.

Why Every Entrepreneur Needs a Personal Board of Directors

Contributed by YEC Women on the Forbes Women website, 1/3/2012

Our society emphasizes friends, family and co-workers as essential parts of our emotional and professional support system. Friends can offer distraction and encouragement, family members give unconditional love and co-workers may provide a sense of camaraderie and even professional advice. However, there are times when we need a fourth type of support in the form of a personal board of directors.

A personal board of directors is usually made up of up to six professionals in your age group — but not necessarily in your industry to — who meet once a month to for brainstorming and encouragement. Keith Ferazzi, in his book Who’s Got Your Back, was one of the first to promote this idea of a small, intimate professional networking group.

If you’re not convinced, here are a few reasons a personal board of directors could be worth considering:

  1. More Honest Than Friends and Family

    Friends and family can be wonderfully supportive and encouraging, but the often don’t want to be constructively honest or, if you are talking about Mom, Dad or Grandma, they think everything you do is spectacular no matter what. A personal board of directors is a great way to have a supportive — but honest group of individuals to bounce ideas off of, get advice and constructive criticism on everything from reports to resumes.

  2. Break From Your Industry

    Sometimes it is good to take a break from your industry or co-workers and get an outside perspective. Often times this can help bring new energy to your ideas or career and get you to meet new people.

  3. Creating Accountability

    Goals can be hard to keep. With a personal board of directors you can set goals and have your co-members help you stick to them. A recent working paper for the National Bureau of Economic Research, researchers confirmed the importance of having a small peer group to depend on. Their research suggests it’s best to motivate groups, not individuals. They compared compensation packages and found that group incentive pay motivated workers better than individual incentive compensation.

  4. Hone Your People-to-People Skills

    In this digital age we spend less and less time with others — especially virtual workers. Researchers Massachusetts Institute of Technology Sloan School of Management have found that groups of people who did well on tests had the most members who were also good at reading each other’s emotions. They had equal contributions to communications and were patient with each other’s answers and issues. One of the best parts of a personal board of directors is that you do not need a leader and as a group you can solve problems as a group better than one of the individual members could by themselves.

How to Start Your Personal Board of Directors Group?

  • Identify between four and six professionals.

    The hardest part is connecting with a good group. Think of a few professionals you know who may or may not be in your industry who you think are intelligent, open-minded and collaborative. If you can only think of one or two this is fine too — those members might have a few people in mind to invite.

  • Decide how often to meet.

    I know personal board of director groups who meet every week. Others check-in once every six months. Have an idea of how often you want to meet and tell invitees what to expect.

  • Define ground rules.

    Once you have got an group together define some ground rules — no one leader, open support, constructive criticism only, confidentiality etc. You might want to create a Google Doc with the rules and then decide on your structure. I encourage Board of Director groups to go over goals every time they meet and then do goal check-ins with each other.

  • Let it grow.

    You will find that your group will grow on its own — both in terms of rules and members. Remember, you do not want it to be too big because you want everyone to feel supported, but otherwise let members dictate the direction of the group.


    Vanessa Van Petten specializes in social and emotional intelligence research and development. She is the CEO of Science of People, focusing on research youth behavior and help adults keep up with young adults. Her company not only reaches out to families, but also works with brands and individuals to help them use social and emotional intelligence to improve website traffic, sales and branding.

    via YEC

    Co-Founded by Natalie MacNeil and Scott Gerber, YEC Women is an initiative of the Young Entrepreneur Council (YEC), an invite-only nonprofit organization comprised of the country’s most promising young entrepreneurs. The YEC promotes entrepreneurship as a solution to youth unemployment and underemployment and provides its members with access to tools, mentorship, and resources that support each stage of a business’s development and growth.