Findings from the CT Domestic Violence Fatality Review Committee

As I think about what I should write for my weekly blog, I came across an article that discusses a new report from the Connecticut Domestic Violence Fatality Review Committee, which was written by the Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence. The article by the CT News Junkie, "Couple Keeps Daughter's Memory Alive Through Fatality Review" discusses how Larry and Shirley Bostrom, after the murder of their daughter in 1996 by her husband, made it their life mission to create this committee to help other victims. I became interested in this article because I know Larry and Shirley through attending Survivors of Homicide with them. Survivors of Homicide is an organization for people who suffered the murder of a relative or close friend. I always knew they were working on preventing domestic violence, but never knew how much they had actually accomplished until I read this article.

It took over a decade for the first report from the committee to be released. I hope this report will be used to create change. It identifies that over the nine years that the study was done and with 146 intimate partner fatalities, few of the victims knew that services were available to them and often did not think of themselves as victims. Also troubling was the finding that there are few resources available to children who witness domestic violence and when law enforcement responds to a domestic violence fatality there is not a consistent response in dealing with children.

This hit home with me, because about a month ago in my hometown of Southington two streets away from where I grew up a father murdered his ex wife in front of their children and then took his own life. I always wondered what happened to the children, who they would live with, and what services would be available to help them through this tragedy. The family was from Bosnia and I was not sure if they had any relatives they could live with or get support from and I wondered what services were available to them. I later read in the Record Journal article, "Two Dead in Murder-Suicide in Plantsville" that they were able to live with their uncle, but I still worried that they wouldn't have appropriate services to help them heal after witnessing such an awful act of violence. The Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence has pledged to help in all of these areas. They are going to develop a media guide and work with social networks to reach out to victims about available services. They also plan to seek legislative changes that will allow children who witness domestic violence to be eligible for services through the Office of Victims Services and to work with law enforcement when responding children at a domestic violence fatality.

I look forward to see these changes in action and hope those affected will really be helped. Does anyone think this is an appropriate response and that these changes will actually happen and be helpful?

UK vs. US - Whose idea of beauty is better?

Julia Roberts & Christy Turlington L'Oreal Ads Banned In U.K.

The Huffington Post Hilary Moss
First Posted: 7/27/11 08:07 AM ET Updated: 7/27/11 04:13 PM ET

Britain's Advertising Standards Authority has pulled a pair of ads featuring Julia Roberts and Christy Turlington for being overly-airbrushed, the Guardian reports.

Member of Parliament Jo Swinson first alerted the campaign watchdog to Lancome's two-page ad showing Roberts as shot by Mario Testino and a spot for Maybelline's "Eraser" foundation featuring Turlington.

According to the BBC, Swinson said the manipulated photographs could impact an individual's body image:

"We should have some honesty in advertising and that's exactly what the ASA is there to do. I'm delighted they've upheld these complaints," she said.

"There's a big picture here which is half of young women between 16 and 21 say they would consider cosmetic surgery and we've seen eating disorders more than double in the last 15 years.

"There's a problem out there with body image and confidence. The way excessive retouching has become pervasive in our society is contributing to that problem."

Swinson added, "Excessive airbrushing and digital manipulation techniques have become the norm, but both Christy Turlington and Julia Roberts are naturally beautiful women who don't need retouching to look great. This ban sends a powerful message to advertisers -- let's get back to reality," the Guardian writes.

The beauty giant, for its part, did acknowledge that the pics had been taken to ye olde Photoshoppe. From the Independent:

L'Oreal admitted post-production techniques had been used in its advert featuring Turlington to "lighten the skin, clean up make-up, reduce dark shadows and shading around the eyes, smooth the lips and darken the eyebrows".

Story continues below

However, the beauty firm said it believed the image accurately illustrated the results the product could achieve.

It also said the flawless skin in the image of Roberts was down to her "naturally healthy and glowing skin", adding the product had taken 10 years to develop.

The ASA previously banned a YSL Belle D'Opium commercial for simulating drug use, nixed "indecent" Diesel billboards and said no to two misleading Louis Vuitton print ads. However, the group decided there was nothing wrong with a particular Miu Miu ad depicting what some dubbed a "significantly underweight" model.

What do you think?

A Woman Who Was Loud without Apology

The voice. The hair. The tattoos. The voice.

I am still not over Amy Winehouse's death. This past week, I've been obsessed with reading any article I can find about her passing, her as a person, her music. Perhaps I'm looking for an answer as to why.


Knowing I had to write this blog post, I started googling women and addiction-- is there some connection between gender and substance abuse?


There is.


According to the book Women under the Influence by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA), girls and women, compared to boys and men, get hooked on alcohol, nicotine and drugs more quickly at lower levels of use, develop substance abuse diseases more quickly, suffer more severe brain damage from alcohol and drugs, and ultimately die sooner.


Despite these facts, 92 percent of the women who are in need of alcohol and drug abuse treatment do not receive it.


I find it ironic Betty Ford's passing earlier this month solicited commentaries how her openness in discussing her addiction put a light on the issue and how much has changed since then. It has. And it hasn't.


It is sad that those battling addiction are considered weak, and those who are public figures face further scrutiny as they are paraded around gossip news outlets.


Throughout my week of reading, one of the best pieces I found was from someone who knew Amy Winehouse before she was famous, the actor Russell Brand. He talks about how he came to know her and witness her talent. He also recounts watching addiction take hold of her. But as a former addict himself, he advocates for society to change its attitude and handling of addicts:



"We need to review the way society treats addicts, not as criminals but as sick people in need of care. We need to look at the way our government funds rehabilitation. It is cheaper to rehabilitate an addict than to send them to prison, so criminalisation doesn't even make economic sense. Not all of us know someone with the incredible talent that Amy had but we do know drunks and junkies and they all need help and help is out there. All they have to do is pick up a phone and make the call. Or not. Either way, there will be a phone call."



If you know someone battling addiction, please be a support to them and try to get some help. Click here for resources in Connecticut.


And just because I want to, click here for a link to an excellent NPR story on the passing of Amy Winehouse. Below is the concluding paragraph, which really says it all:


"Women's suffering has often inspired admiration from audiences whose embrace of their tragic heroine can seem like equal parts sympathy and sadism. Those of us who took pleasure in the fruits of Amy Winehouse's inner turmoil now have to acknowledge its ultimate end. As we contemplate this, we can also revel in what was most entrancing about her music: its brashness and utterly engaging power, the upfront expression of a woman who was loud without apology. Her big notes still live."

The Infamous F Word

Feminist. The word itself sends chills down MANY people's spines, yet most really don't understand what a feminist truly is...

Let me rewind and briefly explain why my fingertips are deciding to write about this today. I, like many, am a full-time student that works on the weekends as a waitress part-time to make ends meet. Last weekend I had the privilege of waiting on two gentlemen for lunch who, coincidentally, strategically sat in the booth the way they that they would vote on a ballot - the liberal on the left and the conservative on the right. I know some of you are probably scratching your heads wondering how I came to the conclusion that one man was liberal and the other not so let me explain a little further. As the fellas were eating their lunch, I ended up leaning against their booth and engaging in a little conversation since it was slow at work. I'm not sure how it came up but I was asked what I am studying/what career path I'm pursuing. I explained that I am studying for my Master's in Political Social Work and ultimately see myself wanting to be on the front lines making a change for the better (so cliche but true, I swear!), whether it be in political office or not. Immediately after saying this, the gentleman on the right eagerly and sincerely said, "Well then! You must really like Michelle Bachman!". The look on my face must've explained it all because he continued to ask "No? You don't like her?". I didn't want to get into a political debate at work because it can be so exhausting with your customers (and it can hurt your tip of course..) so I simply said, "Not really. Just because she's a woman doesn't mean I agree with her. As a woman, I can't see myself voting for another woman who could potentially set us further back than we already are in this country." The liberal on the left let a smile cross his face. The conservative on the right let a scowl poison his. I continued by saying "I think this is the appropriate time to tell you that I'm on the Board for the CT chapter of NOW." The liberal nodded is head in acceptance and congratulated me. The conservative's response? "OHHH, SO YOU'RE A FEMINAZI! I GET IT!"

A feminazi? Are you serious? Simply because I said I'm on NOW's side? I was in shock..but not really. My own mother has recently called me a feminist with disdain on her tongue to family members at a BBQ! It's always surprised me, though, at just how quickly people (both men AND women) are to call me a feminist AND do it with disgust without even knowing or understanding what a feminist is.

Wikipedia defines feminism as "a collection of movements aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights and equal opportunities for women." If fighting for equal pay, lobbying against budget cuts that affect women directly, and trying to push more ladies into office is a feminist, then HELL YES, I'M A FEMINAZI AND I AM SOOO PROUD!

Let me sign off by leaving you with these feminist tidbits I stumbled upon on this refreshingly politically incorrect blog that explains the rules of feminists/feminism:

1. A feminist isn't someone who agrees with every woman on the basis that she is simply a woman.
2. A feminist isn't necessarily a lesbian.
3. A feminist isn't necessarily atheist, antichrist, or anyone else evil!
4. A feminist doesn't want women to rule the world...just co-exist equally.
5. A feminist isn't necessarily a woman.

Your Daily Dose of..FEMALE FACTS!

Here are some facts about the world's women. Read up & learn about yourself! We're pretty interesting creatures...

1. 80% of the 50 million people around the world who are affected by violent conflicts, civil wars, disasters, and displacement are women and children.
2. In 2004, 48.8% of the seats held in parliament in Rwanda were held by women. Contrast that to Cuba where 36% of the seats were held by women, and the USA, where 14.3 % of the seats were held by women.
3. Saudi Arabia and the Solomon Islands are just two countries where there are no women in parliament (UNDP, Human Development Report 2004).
4. In 76 countries, less than half the eligible girls are enrolled in secondary school.
5. Women own only 1% of the world’s land.
6. Approximately three million women in the USA sport tattoos.
7. A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn’t give her coffee.
8. 43% of Australian marriages end in divorce. Of those who remarry, 65% of them will divorce again. By the time you try for marriage number 3, your chance of getting divorced is about 75%.
9. The women of the Tiwi tribe in the South Pacific are married at birth.
10. It is illegal to be a prostitute in Siena, Italy if your name is Mary.
11. The two highest IQ’s ever recorded (on a standard test) both belong to women.
12. In Kenya where 38% of the farms are run by women, those women manage to harvest the same amount per hectare (2.47 acres) as men, despite men having greater access to loans, advice, fertilizers, hybrid seeds, insecticides. And when women were given the same level of help, they were found to be more efficient than men, and produced bigger harvests.
13. Over half a million women die in childbirth every year in Africa and Asia.
14. Nearly 1/2 of all Indonesian women have had their first child by the time they are 17.
15. In the USA, unintended pregnancies account for almost half of all pregnancies.
16. According to The World Health Org., 40% of girls aged 17 or under in South Africa are reported to have been the victim of rape or attempted rape.
17. In Sweden, 76% of mothers work, the highest percentage in the developed world.
18. Australia, New Zealand and the US are among a handful of governments that do not require women to be paid some form of maternity leave. In countries as diverse as Russia, Colombia, Laos and Morocco, the government foots the entire bill for three to six months of maternity leave.
19. By age 55, 95% of all U.S. women have married.
20. Only 5% of Hollywood feature films are directed by women.
21. Today, Japan leads the world in condom use. Like cosmetics, they’re sold door to door, by women.
22. Seventy percent of women would rather have chocolate than sex (Poll taken in a 1995 women’s magazine).
23. Australian women have sex on the first date more than women the same age in the USA and Canada.
24. China is considered the next big marketing opportunity for the tobacco industry because only 3.8% of Chinese women smoke, compared with 63 % of adult males.
25. Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.
26. The word “woman” is believed to have derived from the Middle English term wyfman, broken down simply as the wife (wyf) of man.
27. Women perform 66% of the worlds work, but receive only 11% of the world's income.
28. Women make up 66% of the world's illiterate adults.
29. Women head 83% of single-parent families.
30. Women accomplish 73% of the world's social work dealing with the elderly and the poor.
31. Women's presence in leadership roles is slowly increasing, but is not even close to 50%.
32. Women account for 55% of all college students, which is a trend that has continued since 1979.
33. There are 6 million more women than men in the world.
34. The number of families nurtured by women alone rose from 5.6 million in 1970 to 12.2 million in 1995.

Good News After Initial Disappointment for Female Wal-Mart Employees

While the Supreme Court's initial ruling that women Wal-Mart employees could not sue as a group was a major disappointment, at least many of them will now be able to go forward with smaller lawsuits. See article below.

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-07-22/wal-mart-agrees-to-give-women-extra-time-to-file-lawsuits.html

What do readers think about the Wal-Mart discrimination case? (Women contend--many with compelling evidence--that they were systematically denied promotions and pay raises because of their gender.) Would you boycott Wal-Mart stores if you believed they discriminated against women?

posted by Elizabeth Cafarella

Next Steps for Addressing Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children in Connecticut

In keeping with our July them of "freedom" the first thing that came to my mind was the trafficking and commercial sexual exploitation of children that happens here in Connecticut. I began to think how these young women lack freedom. When talking to my friends about preparing for this blog post they thought I was talking about the human trafficking that takes place abroad. When I told them I was focusing on Connecticut they seemed a little surprised. I think people know it is a problem in Connecticut, but they don't think it is as prevalent here, but that is not what I found out when I attended the 15th Annual Melanie Ilene Rieger Memorial Conference at Central Connecticut State University last month and when I typed in teenage prostitution in Connecticut into an Internet search. At the conference I Rachel LLoyd was a keynote speaker. She is the author of the book "Girls Like Us", which focuses on her time in "the life" and the lives of those young women who attend the nonprofit organization she founded called GEMS, Girls Educational and Mentoring Services in New York City, which serves girls and young women who have experienced commercial sexual exploitation and domestic trafficking. The book sheds light on the nation's least recognized epidemic and describes how even though these children are not usually kidnapped into this life they also did not have the ability to choose the life either.

When I tried to research this problem in Connecticut I landed on Vanity Fair's article "Sex Trafficking of Americans: The Girls Next Door", which describes how the average age of a young women who enters the sex trade has dropped to 13. The article goes on to explain the reasons for this ranging from the normalization of sex harm in the media to the breakdown of the family unit.

I wondered what is being done in Connecticut to address this issue. A couple of positive things were the recent passage of the Public Act 10-115, “Safe Harbor for Exploited Children", which eliminates the possibility of a sexually exploited minors under 16 being charged with the crime of prostitution. It also presumes 16-17 year olds who may have otherwise been arrested and charged with prostitution are actually victims of trafficking in persons. Also the passage of SB 1044, an act requiring the Department of Children and Families to be notified when a youth is arrested for prostitution.

My question is, what should the next step be for Connecticut to address this problem? Would a program like the GEMS organization that provides holistic case management, trauma based therapy, and clinical support work here in CT? Or is there something else that would be better?